Page 35 of Next to Everything We Wanted

“Yeah, I’m in the dark.” Dallas frowned. “Do we need to leave so you guys can sort things out?”

“It’s nothing—” I stopped myself, hating that I was lying to my friends. “Emma, move out of the booth.”

“What?” Emma, who’d been looking at the stage, snapped her head toward me. “Where are we going?”

“You’restaying here with everyone else.” I glanced at the stage again. The rest of Somewhere in the Sky was back on stage, but Ivan/Gavin was nowhere in sight. The band whispered in a small huddle, sounding a mix of frustrated and panicked. “I have to do something.”

Emma blinked. “What are you?—”

“Just get out.”

“Fine.” She got out of the booth. “Have fun.”

“Thanks.” I looked at Adam, who only gave me a thumbs-up. I gave him one back, even though I felt anything but good.

Hayden and Dallas looked at me like I’d lost my last brain cell, and Raina still narrowed her eyes at me. It didn’t matter what they thought. Whatever was happening with Ivan/Gavin endedtonight.

Everett finally spoke into the microphone. “Um, Ivan will be right back. He had a personal thing to deal with.” The entire band had worry etched on their faces, despite how hard they were trying to mask it with smiles. “In the meantime, we’ll be playing a few songs for you.”

The crowd gave a low cheer before the band started performing. While the hustle was going on, I snooped over to where the bathrooms were. When no one was looking, I made a run for the backstage area, opening and closing the door like a ninja.

My heartbeat thundered in my ears as I looked around in the darkness. Why didn’t they have lights on back here? I carefully searched the dark, hoping that I wouldn’t?—

My foot hit something hard. I clutched it and hobbled around before knocking into something else. “Ow!” I stumbled backward into what felt like a chair. “What the?—”

“Who is that?”

My heart skipped a few beats. “Um, I can’t really see anything in the dark.”

“Go away.”

“I can’t find the way I came in—” My foot tripped over what felt like a pair of shoes, and I tumbled to the ground. “Whoops.” I let out an awkward laugh as a pair of trembling hands tried to help me up. “What’s going on?”

“How am I supposed to know what’s going on?”

“How amIsupposed to know what’s going on?”

“Listen, you’re not supposed to be back here, so please go.” Gavin’s breathing was loud in my ear, signaling he wasn’t too far away from me. “Don’t worry about me. Enjoy the performance.”

“I want to make sure that you’ll be okay.” I sighed. “I have no idea what freaks you out about me?—”

“Trust me, there’s a lot more to that. Thanks for the concern, but I’m fine here on my own. Seriously.” He let out what sounded like a gasp. “I can’t breathe in here.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned on the flashlight. Of course, it shone right into his eyes, causing him to scream and fall into what looked like big bags piled onto the floor.

“Shoot!” I turned my flashlight off. “I’m sorry. I’m just making things worse for you.”

“Exactly.”

Well, I couldn’t pretendthathadn’t stung. “Look, I’m really sorry about everything that happened last week, Ivan,” I said. “Your secret—whatever it is—is safe with me and the twins. If that’s the reason for this happening . . .” His breathing was at rapid-fire speed now, like he’d just swam a medley. “Seriously, you’re freaking me out.”

“It’s just a stupid panic attack!” Gavin’s voice erupted throughout the dark room. “I haven’t had one in a while. I’ll get used to it again.”

“Panic attacks shouldn’t be something to brush off like that,” I said, worry coursing through me. Raina used to deal with bad panic attacks during the beginning of high school, and it always scared me when I knew I couldn’t stop them. “I’m going to stay here until you feel like you can breathe again.”

“Youreallydon’t have to. Go out and enjoy your Monday night with your friends.”

“Okay.” I went over to a different side of the room and sat on the floor. I couldn’t find where that chair I’d bumped into was, and I didn’t want to accidentally blind Gavin with my flashlight again. If only I could find the freaking light switch.