Page 60 of Next to Everything We Wanted

Before I could think twice, I pressed my lips against Gavin’s. His lips were tender, tasting sweet like the soda he had before.

I expected him to pull away, to tell me he didn’t see me that way. Instead, his lips pressed harder against mine as his hands traveled down to my waist.

I wrapped my hands around his neck and pressed my chest to his. His racing heartbeat matched my own, sending waves of electricity through my body. This couldn’t be happening. Gavin/Ivan Hicks couldn’t be kissing me and enjoying it. A near-painful sensation wedged beneath my ribs, like my lungs were going to burst.

After the song ended, we slowly broke apart. My eyes met his again as my lips tingled. I’d always wondered why this desire for Gavin flourished inside of me when I’d barely known him, but our connection made sense now. When I looked into those deep blue eyes, I saw my smiling face looking back at me.

CHAPTER 15

Gavin

What the hell had I done?

In another life, I wouldn’t have been terrified at the thought of kissing someone I was slowly becoming attracted to. But this was my life, and kissing girls a month after a serious breakup was wrong. And kissing girls who couldn’t know my true identity was even worse.

So, why was it happening?

Big amber eyes stared into mine. I stared back at Sienna, who was stunned silent. I had no idea what she was thinking. She didn’t smile or frown, though her face flamed red.

My pounding pulse muffled the sounds blasting through the theater. I needed to tell her that the kiss was a mistake, that we couldn’t be more than friends, but I couldn’t force myself to open my mouth. All I wanted to do was kiss her again.

“Was that okay?” Sienna finally asked, her words almost a whisper compared to the blaring music. “I’m sorry, I know?—”

“It wasn’t okay,” I finally said, my knees knocking together. “It was amazing.”

Before she could say anything, I slipped my arms around her waist as my lips met hers. The vanilla taste of her lipstick greetedme, and I craved more. She wrapped her arms around my neck again, her bracelets gently grazing my skin.

I knew it was wrong in so many ways, but I didn’t want to stop myself. I didn’t want to think about the future or how deep of a hole I was digging myself into. For once, I wanted to live in the moment. That’s what people tell you to do when you go to concerts, right? Put down your phone and live in the moment.

I never wanted this moment to end.

And I hated myself for it.

Our kisses were slow and gentle, almost too warm for me to handle. It was like I’d kissed her so many times before that our mouths knew what to do. My heart tried to break free from my chest, banging against my ribcage. I knew she could feel it from how her chest rested against mine. All my walls were broken down, and I didn’t have the strength to build them back up.

Eventually, Sienna took her arms from around my neck and beamed. “Nowthatwas amazing. I haven’t done that in forever.”

“You’re definitely not out of practice.” I looked away from her so she wouldn’t see how hard my face was flushing. “So much for our opposite date.”

Sienna giggled. “Hopefully Jade and Cat won’t track us down.”

I smiled again and applauded for the performance, though I wasn’t sure what song had just played. Had we really kissed for that long? Pain grew in my chest as my mind went back to Celeste and my bandmates. Would they see the truth written on my face tomorrow? Could I keep this treasure to myself? Why did I have to share everything that happened to me, anyway?

For the life of me, I couldn’t tell you what happened for the rest of the concert. Sienna and I tried to sing every song, yet I was positive I messed up ninety percent of the lyrics. I’d gone from living in the moment to completely zoning out.

After the concert finished and we left the theater, I faced Sienna. “Well, I guess that’s the end of tonight.” But, dang, not a single cell of me wanted this night to end.

“I don’t have to be back home until one,” she said. “Maybe we can find a place to hang out?” Her sparkling gaze traveled to my lips. “There’s still so much to know about each other.”

Know about each other. My mind raced with an excuse to give her, but I didn’t want to give her one. I didn’t want to avoid this and lead her on. My comfort zone wasn’t comfortable anymore, so it was finally time to find a new area.

“How about we drive over to that park from two weeks ago?” I asked. “Hopefully we won’t get soaked this time.”

“What made you pick Somewhere in the Sky as a band name?” Sienna admired the crescent moon that peeked from the clouds. “You guys never talk about the origin of your band.”

I stared at my shoes. We’d been sitting on a park bench for a few minutes, sharing our thoughts about the concert. Now I wished I’d chickened out and taken Sienna home. Why hadn’t I come up with something ahead of time in case she asked?

When I didn’t answer, Sienna cleared her throat. “My band didn’t have a real name for the longest time. We called ourselves ‘Oliver’s Garage Band’ until Hayden and Dallas came up with ‘Like Airplanes.’” She looked up at the sky again before pointing at what looked like an airplane. “Because airplanes soar to new destinations, despite all the things that could go wrong.”