Page 62 of Next to Everything We Wanted

“That just makes it sound like we’re in health class.” I wiped the sweat off my forehead. “When I told her that I don’t, um,sleep.” I laughed again. “Now that makes it sound like I never go to bed.”

Sienna giggled. “You don’t have to keep talking about this.”

“No, I’m getting to my point.” I shifted my position. “She got the wrong signals from me. And I loved her, and I enjoy kissing, if you couldn’t tell, but we were moving too fast. So, we talked things out, and it ended with me breaking up with her. It wassupposed to be mutual, though I knew that wasn’t the resolution she wanted.”

When Sienna didn’t say anything, I finished. “It wasn’t what I wanted either at the time, but we didn’t love each other the same anymore. It was time to stop trying to fix something beyond our skill level.”

“I’m sorry.” Sienna reached for my hand, her touch comforting. Safe. “I can’t imagine how much that must’ve broken your hearts.”

Our eyes locked as her words settled in the air. I’d refused to consider how the breakup hurt me. Celeste, yeah, but neverme. There were two sides, and they merged into one reality.

It sucked forbothof us.

“Yeah,” I finally said, fighting not to look away this time. “It did.”

Sienna rested against the bench. “Do you know what you’re going to do now?”

“No. There’s no one else who can love me like that.” Sheesh, I sounded like some type of fictionalI don’t datebad boy. I wanted to speed home so I could scream into my pillow while Phoenix made soup for me.

“Why do you believe that? I don’t expect you to jump back into the love world or anything, but why wouldn’t anyone else have the ability to love you?” She scooted closer to me, her shoulder touching mine. “What are you hiding from others?”

The air in my lungs tightened. The line I’d perfectly drawn was about to get blown over like a stop sign. It was like she knew I was keeping something from everyone and wanted to dig it out of me, but she had no idea how the truth—as good as it’d feel to have someone, anyone know—was something that couldn’t be set free.

Slow down.

“Nothing,” I finally said, playing with the zipper on my jacket. “They just can’t.”

“I don’t buy that.” Sienna bit her lip. “I think I’ve brought up too many wounds already, though.”

You have no freaking idea. I resisted the urge to sigh in relief. She was great at talking, but I couldn’t handle how much she dug into my soul. She wasn’t allowed to figure me out. She wasn’t allowed to climb over the walls I’d built so carefully to get to my heart.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, and my shaking hands dropped it in the grass. I tried to pick it up, and my butterfingers messed up again. And again.

Sienna covered mouth with her hand as she giggled. “You’re having a hell of a time with that, aren’t you?”

I shot a glare at her, not amused at all.

It only took a few seconds for both of us to burst out laughing.

“Here.” She leaned down and helped me get my phone. I reached at the same time she did so she wouldn’t see the text. Our hands touched, her skin warmer than it’d been at the concert. I ignored the heat that filled my stomach.

“Thank you,” I said before reading the text, making sure my screen was on full darkness.

Phoenix

Just making sure you’ll be coming home alive soon

Gavin

Naw, I’m showing up dead. I’ll save my fresh brains for you

I smiled at Sienna as I put my phone away. “I think I should head home now. I had an amazing time.”

“This was one of the best nights of my life,” she breathed, staring off into the sky full of stars again. “Thank you so much for . . . whatever type of date this was.”

I beamed. “You’re more than welcome. Thank you for coming with me.” Something pricked my eyes as I thought about how much this date had meant to me. Yeah, crying would so throw my man card out of the window.

“You’re welcome.” Sienna pulled me into a tight hug, the warmth of her body greeting me again.