Page 181 of Next to Everything We Wanted

I swallowed. I hadn’t expected her to bringthatup. Was she going to mention things he’d done to upset her? Vice versa? Was she going to convince me that I made the right choice breaking up with him? Would she admit to the shady things that happened at Mercury Heights?

Mom sighed when I didn’t answer. “I gave the guy a hard time. He was much different when he enjoyed the height of his fame. I wouldn’t say better, but different. He acted like any other celebrity—doing what the label said, going to scheduled events, basking in the spotlight, trying to hide from paparazzi. When Charm Street became so popular, Gary Cole and the team wanted to make sure they stayed at the top. We dropped many artists to focus on them. With that, the pressure increased, and I think Gavin just . . . snapped.”

I nodded, the air becoming thick again.

She continued. “I won’t get into too much detail since this is his story to tell, but I told him he’d never be anything without us. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t true. Gavin’s a fighter, and when he wants something, hewillget it. He never plays dirty, though. He earns what he gets.” She gazed out the window, admiring the cityscapes. “When he tried to get out of his contract, the label went into panic mode. We couldn’t have one of the two strongest singers from our most successful band leave. It’d ruin all the plans we had.

“When he broke out of the contract, the first thing I felt was relief.” She let out a breath, as if the same relief washed over her right now. “He finally wouldn’t have to struggle. We managed to keep Charm Street afloat for another year, thanks to Justin’s popularity, but the guys chose to pursue solo endeavors. The hiatus is indefinite, though I know they’re never getting back together. At least not with Gavin.”

I gripped the arm of the couch. “So, everything you said about him in the media was just for show?”

“You saw some of that, huh?” Mom sighed. “I wouldn’t say yes. I was angry that his departure caused chaos at the label and spoke from a place of bitterness. I was more caught up in the fame and fortune back then. Before I started thinking about my roots.” Her eyes met mine. “About you and your dad.”

I bit my lip. “So, you’re different now?”

“Yes. And if you want me to apologize to him, I will. I doubt he’d accept it, but I’m never afraid to try.”

“You don’t have to—he hates both of us,” I said, Gavin’s words still stinging in my chest. I thought about what Everett had said earlier. I thought about my sketchbook in my drawer, holding pages of my feelings for Gavin. “Thank you for telling me this.”

“Of course. Anything else you want to know about him?”

“Can we stop talking about him, actually?” I asked, keeping my voice gentle. “I want to talk about you. Just you.”

Mom perked up, her soft smile turning into a grin. “Of course. What do you want to know?”

I looked at Dad, who also grinned at me. His tears were dry, and he gazed at us with admiration. He was happy with me. Maybe one day, he’d be happy with Mom too. Maybe we could be a family again.

But right now, I wanted to stay in the present.

I faced Mom again, grinning back at her. “Anything you want me to know.”

CHAPTER 43

Gavin

It was strange how a boring stretch of road held so many memories. I’d driven down this desert with a smile on my face, with tears streaming down my cheeks, and struggling to keep my eyes open. I’d driven here excited to see my family, dreading to go back home to my complicated life, or too bored with the long drive to care about where I was going.

When theWELCOME TO NEVADAsign appeared, my anxiety kicked into high gear. I still had time to turn around, but it’d be stupid to drive so long for nothing. I couldn’t back out of this. Even if I never got what I wanted, I needed to try one more time.

When I arrived at my building, I grabbed my backpack and got out of the car, the hot sun greeting me like a slap to the face. Like I wasn’t sweating bullets already. I texted my parents that I made it here safely—and so they knew where I last was in case Forrest murdered me—before going up the stairs.

With a trembling hand, I unlocked the door and went into the living space. Phoenix and Forrest weren’t there, even though their cars were parked outside.

As I scanned the room, as if one of the guys were hiding behind the furniture, a piece of paper on the dining room table caught my eye. When I got a closer look, my stomach shriveled up.

Tenant Move-Out Form.

Was this for me, or were Forrest and Phoenix moving out, too? Were they giving up on Somewhere in the Sky for good? The back of my eyes stung, but I shook my head before going into my room.

Everything looked exactly how I’d left it. All my books and records were still on my bookshelf, all my posters were still on the walls, and none of my furniture had moved.

The only thing different was the pink spiral notebook on my bed.

I blinked, unsure where it had come from. None of my bandmates had a pink notebook, not even Celeste. When I stepped closer, I made out the black Eiffel Tower on the front cover. Recognition washed over me, sinking my stomach.

I opened the front cover. A note was attached to the first page, covering the contact information.

Here’s the piece of me you’ll always have. It’s yours to keep or throw away.