Page 92 of Mr. Green
Lana
This is it. This is the day. I’m running a half marathon. It’s surprisingly gorgeous weather. The sun is out and shining. I wish I could say the same for my attitude. I know I want to do this. I’m ready for this. I just feel like I’m missing something.
I shouldn’t feel this way. I have support from everyone I love. Well, almost everyone. I love Grant, but he has no idea how I feel. He has no idea I’m accomplishing something huge today.
Whatever. His loss. I did nothing wrong.
I debate for thirty seconds whether to lay in bed and play on my phone a little longer. I watch the numbers on the clock, waiting for them to move forward. Maybe it’ll give me motivation to get up and get going. I need to be at the starting line in forty-five minutes. I should eat, get dressed, and take Queenie out.
As if I summoned her, she puts her head on my hand, nudging it to pet her. I do, and petting her feels better. She’s the inspiration I need to get up.
I have things to do today. I’m running and I’m going to get my best time ever. I take a deep breath and push off the bed.
“Come on, girl. Let’s get you outside.” I bend down to put her leash on after I throw some shoes and a bra on. “I wish you could come with me today.” I pet her head and then pat her.
We go outside to the sun rising. It’s the first day of summer. The days are going to be long, happy, and sunny. I need that.
After I eat an apple and piece of whole grain bread I get dressed intheoutfit. The purple one I love that Grant bought for me. It hurts to not hear from him. He helped me believe in myself and show me another side to what a relationship could be. I guess it’s a steppingstone in the right direction. I can find someone who will treat me right. Someone who’ll stay with me. Love me for me.
It could’ve been him. He was probably my chance at a happily ever after if I could’ve just agreed to not see Ryan. I wish he could’ve understood it was my final step to get back to myself. He made me choose between him or me and I couldn’t choose a guy over myself again.
I distract myself with a badass rock song and swipe at a stray tear I didn’t mean to let out. I put my hair up in a ponytail and put my contacts in so I won’t have to worry about my glasses falling off. I intend to run my ass off today. I don’t want any distractions.
I pet Queenie one more time. “Wish me luck, girl.”
She nudges me, knowing I need a little love. I walk out the door with my head held high.
“You got this, La La.”
~
I get to the starting line, where Scarlett, Matt, Paige, Jason, and my parents are all waiting for me. I got here five minutes before they start. Might be pushing it a bit.
No one is at the check-in line, damn early birds who have it together. I go over and get my number.
“Lana!” Paige and Scarlett both scream. Jason is next to them, waving his arm up high.
I walk over to them and they embrace me in a hug. “Thanks for coming, guys!”
“Someone else is here.” Paige nods her head in the direction ofthesomeone.
Yellow and red roses catch my eye first, then the man bun, then his perfectly pressed slacks and blazer. He always looks sexy, and it’s throwing me off. It’s making it hard to be mad at him.
“Hey, Sunshine.” He gives me a small smile.
I’m fighting the tears behind my eyes. I’m not crying in front of him. He chose to leave me after saying he never would. I want to slap him. I turn to my friends.
“You okay?” Jason asks as he pins my number to my back. I nod my head, avoiding Grant’s prying eyes.
“He’s been a mess. I don’t really give a shit. Give us two blinks and we’ll carry him out to his car,” Scarlett whispers to me.
I stare back at her, not sure what I want to do. I want to see him, but I want him to know I’m not a pushover. He can’t just decide to leave and then expect me to forgive him immediately.
The announcer calls for everyone to get ready.
“We’ll be waiting at the finish line for you! Go get ’em!” Scarlett cheers.
My parents wave, and I walk to them. “I appreciate you guys coming!” I can smell my mom’s perfume even outside in the open air.