Page 27 of Mr. Green
My jaw opens to the floor. Why does he always need to involve others in what should be a private matter?
“I don’t have hallucinations,” I tell the captain. The explanation does nothing. The captain is still staring at me like I have five heads.
“Didn’t you just tell him the boat isn’t safe anymore? I don’t know if you can tell, but there’s no fire, no storm, no leak. Everything’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. I still have to interact with you. Alone.”
“That’s not unsafe. That’s supposed to happen. I’m thehost.”
“More like you’re a lunatic.” I turn to the captain. “I’m not the crazy one on this boat!”
“That’s what all the crazy people say,” Grant tells me while leading me down to the dinner area again. “Don’t worry, Cap! She won’t come up here again. I know how to handle crazy.”
The captain fucking laughs. I want to shred him into little pieces and feed him to the sharks. Asswad.
My hands are balled into fists as I clench my teeth together. “That was embarrassing.”
“Why are you always trying to get away from me?” He sits at the chair he was at before and motions for me to join him. He strokes his beard, sitting with his legs wide, and leaning back like he’s King fucking Tut.
“I don’t know you.” I plop down in my chair with my nose raised to the stars.
“What? We’ve known each other for years. Is it because another guy broke your heart?”
“Yes. You’re all trouble.”
“I think you’ll find someone who treats you better than he ever did. You deserve it. You deserve whatever you want. You just need to realize it. And where the fuck was Josh when this guy hurt you?”
“Josh was there for me. He stayed with me for the weekend, distracting me with action movies and food from new restaurants. Have you talked to him?”
“No, not yet. I was waiting for clarification on some things before I reached out to him. It’s been a few years, so I don’t think he’s missing me.”
“I’m sure he’d love to hear from you. It’s not like you want to date me.” I flick my hand while Grant clenches his jaw. “You know how protective Josh is with any guy trying to go out with me. I’ve learned to ignore him, though.” I shrug.
He whispers to himself, “I know.” He stares at the table with a gaze over his eye, continuing to stroke his beard.
I clear my throat. “Why aren’t you in a relationship?Aren’t you like forty now?”
“Ouch.” He puts his hand over his heart. “I’m only thirty-three. I’ve been waiting for the right person. I’m good at committing, I just need to find the person I want to commit to.”
“It doesn’t sound like you’re good at committing.” I shake my head.
“I played golf since I was six. I got a scholarship to a school I graduated from. I always pick a relationship instead of going for a one-night stand. I’ve had a business since I was twenty-two. I’ve volunteered with the humane society since I was in elementary school. What do you need me to prove?”
“How long was your longest relationship?” My eyes scrutinize him.
“Almost three years.”
He did always have a girlfriend in high school. There were only two. They were pretty, thin, perfect. Naturally, I acted like they didn’t exist and hoped Grant would see me one day like he saw them.
“Why did it end?”
“We weren’t right for each other. She didn’t love me for me. She just liked what I could give her. It took me a while to figure out I wanted someone to love me for my personality and not what I could provide.”
Me too.
My lips turn up in a consoling smile. I know exactly what he means. I’ve always wanted someone to be there for me. For them to want to see me first when they woke up and last when they went to sleep. I want someone to be with through thick and thin. Someone who thinks I look cute in my glasses and sweats. It’s hard to find a guy who’ll be committed the same way. They’re always after their career, or sex, or your looks.
“I just got a dog.”