Page 8 of Monarch

“Actually, that hot chocolate sounds good. But no cream.”

“Got it,” I say, and I walk to the bar.

I’m served quickly by a very smiley androgynous person covered in almost as many tattoos as I am. When I return to the table and put two yellow mugs down, Roos smiles at me and blushes profusely.

“I’m sorry,” she says as she wraps her hands around one mug. “Your phone lit up and I saw…”

I glance at my screen. It’s a K1NK notification.

“Oh, God, that’s embarrassing,” I mumble as I sit down and immediately turn my phone over.

“No, it’s not,” Roos says, sounding more forthcoming than she has since we met. “I’m on it too.”

My whole body lights up. And it’s not because I now think she and I are going to have kinky fun for the remaining three days I’m in Amsterdam. But because my body always lights up when I meet like-minded people.

Although, I wouldn’t say no to kinky fun with her.

“There are a lot of you on it in Amsterdam,” I say. “As soon as I changed my location and put up a post about being here and up for some play, the messages haven’t stopped.”

“Anyone interesting?” Roos asks, and I relax even more into my body and into this space.

“Yeah, one or two, but the main guy I liked the sound of kinda ghosted me or just dropped offline for some reason.”

“Hmm, give it time. Even kinksters have personal dramas.”

I snort. “Especiallykinksters, in my experience.”

Roos laughs with me but then stops and rubs at her head.

“Does it hurt?” I ask, possibly redundantly.

“Yeah, a little. I can feel a lump coming now also.”

“Let me get you some ice.” I shift to get up and go ask the person behind the bar.

“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” She waves for me to stay sitting. “Tell me more about what you’re looking for. On K1NK, I mean. If you don’t mind sharing. Maybe I know someone who could be a good match.”

It’s like she’s speaking my love language.

“Well, I’m a switch,” I start in a low voice as we instinctively lean our heads closer together. “I know that much. I’m still figuring out the rest, but I sort of see myswitchynessas tenuously related to my gender expression, namely my fluidity. But it’s more… sophisticated than just saying when I feel masc, I also want to dom. In fact, more often than not, it’s the other way round.

“In terms of what I like. Well, there’s a lot, but I guess at the top of my list, I’d have rope play – I’m getting quite good at that – impact play, sensual play and sensory deprivation… Oh, and wax play. I love that. I just recently had a partner who was into free use, and so I experimented with that once, but I’m still not sure how I feel about it.”

When I finish talking, I can’t help but notice that Roos’ eyes – now more of a blue-tinged silver – have dilated and she’s not blinking.

“What about you?” I ask before clearing my throat.

“I’m a switch too, but I think I’m on a different journey than you. For me, I feel like I started as a sub, but the more I learn about kink, and about myself, I can feel a shift to dominance being something I feel more… at home with. I like… everything that you said, but also, I am prone to a bit of degradation and a little humiliation. Both as a Domme and a submissive.”

It’s my turn to have dry eyes from not blinking, and a very dry throat. I take a sip of too-hot chocolate and squeeze my thighs together.

“Do you know a club called QISS?” I ask, still keeping my voice hushed.

Her eyes light up. “Yes, I do.”

“Have you been?”

“Yes, a few times,” she says, and she looks at her drink, the brightness in her gaze fading a little.