Page 25 of Monarch

“I asked you to come with me!” I shout at Mari, remembering far too well that New Year’s Eve when I saw them and realised there was a possibility I couldn’t live without them. “You said no.”

“You asked me two days before you left. I was an afterthought. And you were drunk when you asked!”

They’re not wrong. I feel foolish and defensive. “Why are you not over this? It was ten years ago!”

“You left me without a real explanation!” Mari contests.

“But that’s what you did to me,” Roos points a finger at her chest. “Twice.”

Another snort from Mari has me itching to slam the door shut on this whole moment. I did not come here to have them gang up on me. I didn’t even come here to see Mari. I never wanted to see Mari again.

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Mari says, and their eyes look like they could shoot arrows.

“Look, I’m over this.” I hold my hands up. “I came to see Roos, not dig up my past!”

“You covered it.” Mari surprises me by reaching for my arm, the one that is a full black ink sleeve, stretching all the way down to the base of my fingers; only my wrist and hand are visible where theyemerge from the thick jumper I’m wearing. They’re referring to the X I had tattooed onto my hand, the same one they still have.

“I covered all my tattoos on that arm.” I pull my sleeve back slightly.

“Yeah, but that one…” They hold up their own hand and show me their X. “That one we got together.”

I don’t meet their eyes but looking at their arm – all their plump flesh, all the new tattoos and the ink I remember despite myself – isn’t exactly easy either. “We got lots of tattoos together. I’ve got many more with many others, too.”

They drop my arm like it just burst into flames.

“I can’t believe you know each other,” Roos says, but it’s so quiet, I don’t think it was intended for us to hear.

“I came to see you, Roos,” I switch to Dutch. “I flew all the way back from Seattle to see you.”

This has both Roos and Mari changing their body language. Roos straightens up and looks at me, questioning and uncertain. Mari squares their shoulders and frowns, their eyes flicking between me and Roos.

“What did xe say?” they ask Roos.

“It’s none of your business,” I tell Mari.

“Xe said that xe came to see me. That xe flew back from Seattle to see me.”

“Manipulative cunt,” Mari hisses at me.

My hands ball into fists. “Again, this has got nothing to do with you.”

“If you want me to get rid of xem, I will.” Mari places their hand on Roos’ arm, and my reaction is visceral. I want to rip them apart, but I don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t even blink as I stare at the contact.

“It’s fine.” Roos closes her eyes for a second and takes in a deep breath. When her eyes open, she’s looking at me. “Lex, this isn’t a good time.”

“No shit,” Mari mumbles, but they’re silenced when Roos pins a deadly stare on them.

“Then when should I come back?” I hate how seeing Mari here has made me more determined than ever to stake my claim on Roos, to rekindle what I lost, but I’m too blinded by it to interrogate it.

“I…I don’t know. Mari doesn’t have long in Amsterdam. I want to see them more before they go.”

Mari has the nerve to puff out their chest and fold their arms under their big fucking tits like they’ve just won this round. I grind my teeth and focus on the part that Roos said about them leaving. They are not here to stay.

“Although, I may change my mind if they keep acting like this,” Roos adds as she takes in Mari’s stance.

I let another laugh escape me.

“Jesus, what the fuck happened between you?” Roos asks but then holds her hands up to stop either of us speaking. “Wait, no, I don’t want to know.”