Page 74 of Monarch

“What the fuck?” I gasp.

“I think she’s having a seizure,” Lex tells me, putting a hand on Roos’ arm.

“We’ve got to do something.” I shift closer to Roos. “Call an ambulance.”

“I already have. Nadia is waiting for them outside,” Lex says, and I see xir phone is in xir other hand and the door to the room is wide open. “Where’s Joel when we fucking need him?”

I open my mouth to argue with xem that this isn’t Joel’s fault, but I realise that would be just as unhelpful.

“Oh, God, she looks like she’s in pain,” I say, and as if she can hear me – and maybe she can – Roos groans through her clamped-shut jaw.

“It’s okay, Roos.” Lex smooths her hair away from her face, just like she did last night, hugging her to sleep. “I’m here. Mari’s here. You’re not alone.”

I feel foolish. I feel useless. I feel terrified.

“Reassure her, Mari! If she can see and hear you, you need to reassure her!” Lex demands.

“Shit, sorry, I… Yes, Roos, I’m here,” I say, sitting down beside her as she continues to convulse. “It’s all going to be okay.”

“We won’t let anything bad happen to you,” Lex adds, and I don’t know where this is coming from. These words. This calm. Thislove.

Through the bowels of the club, we can hear a distant siren get louder and clearer.

“Oh, thank God,” I say, and Lex gives me a warning look.

Right, not being helpful.

“Stay with her,” xe orders as xe gets up. “Tell her you love her. Tell her we’ll never leave her. Tell her everything is going to be okay.”

Lex walks to the door. I realise then all the candles have been blown out, and the lights are on fully. Xe has been busy. It’s like Lex has everything under control.

I repeat the words Lex ordered me to. I tell Roos I love her, which is not a lie. I tell her that I’ll never leave her, which is also the truth. And I tell her that everything is going to be okay, even thoughI don’t believe it. Not in this moment when everything is pure chaos and so very, very wrong.

Chapter Thirty

Lex

“You should try and sleep,” I tell Mari as they fidget in the ugly hospital chair.

“I’m fine,” they say curtly.

“She may not wake up for a long time. The doctor said that’s a side effect of the medication he gave her,” I say, not for the first time.

“Jesus, I know, Lex,” Mari hisses. “He told me the same thing in English.”

It hadn’t been my intention to talk to the doctor in Dutch, but when we’d first arrived, I just blurted out as much as I knew in the language he asked me questions in, and then, when he asked me who I was to Roos, who Mari was, it was just easier to tell him – still in Dutch – that we were both Roos’ partners, romantic partners, rather than say it in English and face Mari’s wrath. I would have argued that it was the only way we would both be allowed to stay with Roos, but I know that wouldn’t have helped Mari’s mood.

Which is why I want them to sleep. It’s eight in the morning. We’ve been awake all night. I gave Mari the chair so they could sleep, although again, I know Mari didn’t see that. They just saw me assume a closer position to Roos, perched on the side of her bed, and no doubt that adds to their disdain.

But fuck Mari’s disdain and anger and hate. That’s not important. What’s important right now is Roos.

“Epilepsy,” I say out loud, trying the word out for size.

“Yeah,” Mari says, their tone softer. “I mean, they still want to run tests and wait and see, but that’s what it looked like. Right?”

I glance up at them, away from Roos’ sleeping hand curled in mine. “Yeah, that is what it looked like.”

“It was pretty fucking scary.” Mari shivers and wraps that absurd scarf around her neck one more time.