Page 23

Then all of a sudden it was Saturday. V-Ball day, and Megan was at our house, before the NI trials.

We hadn’t spoken since the match. The one I was desperately trying not to think about; like if I pretended it didn’t happen, then maybe Sadie would forget too.

But I couldn’t forget. Not completely. And every time it burst into my mind, it reminded me that Shane hadn’t come, that Niall hadn’t come, and that Megan had witnessed the car crash.

When I came out of my bedroom she was sitting half on top of Niall on the sofa while he played some game I didn’t recognize. They’d obviously made up with each other. I didn’t understand it. Megan was leaving for England and Niall was all loved up again?

When she saw me, she got up to go to the bathroom and left me with Niall.

Silence, except for the guns blasting from the screen.

‘So you lost last night then?’

It was like a slap in the face.

‘Yeah, but they were really good. Haven’t been beaten all season,’ I shot back.

‘Meg said you didn’t have a great game. So annoying when that happens.’

Something burned in my stomach. Was this some half-arsed attempt at being supportive?

‘She said what?’ I spat out.

‘No, not like in a bad way. She was being nice. She felt bad because it was your first game with the team.’ Niall stopped playing and looked at me, his shaggy blonde hair half over his eyes.

‘She said I played shit in a good way?’ I dared him to clarify.

He sighed. ‘She didn’t say you played shit. Jesus, Lexie.’

‘Actually, everybody played terribly; it wasn’t just me.’ My words were running together and getting mixed up. Tears welled in my eyes.

‘OK,’ Niall said, going back to his game.

Megan knew something was wrong as soon as she came back. Because it was written all over my face, and I was too angry to even try to change my expression.

‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘Ask your boyfriend,’ I said, standing up.

‘Niall?’ Megan looked at him, waiting for an explanation.

‘What?’ he said. ‘We were just talking about the match last night and Lexie turned into a psychopath.’

‘Are you serious?’ I was shouting now. ‘Niall told me what you said. That I had a shit game.’ And then I was crying, hot angry tears that I couldn’t wipe away fast enough.

‘I did not say you had a shit game. Niall!’ Megan slapped him on the shoulder.

‘Meg, I didn’t say that. I said that you said she didn’t have the best game and by the sounds of things she didn’t, so why am I getting yelled at?’

‘Fuck sake, Niall!’ Megan looked at him, then back at me. ‘I was just telling him about the game in general, that the team we were playing were really good,’ she said, trying to backtrack. ‘And I told him you had a great first half!’ She sounded desperate.

‘You think I’m rubbish. You know what? Good luck for your trials.

See you whenever.’ I ran into my bedroom and lay down on the bed.

If I’d been thinking straight, I would have stopped the tears before they made my face red and puffy.

But I couldn’t. It hurt too much. And it wasn’t just the fact that Megan had said it, but that she’d said it to Niall.

Deep down I knew she thought that. Of course she did. How could she not?

But Niall? It was so pathetic that when I thought back to when we were kids, the times I remember feeling the happiest were the times when I did something, and Niall thought it was great.

There was this time I did a trick on my skateboard and Niall said it was ‘amazing’ and made me show all his mates. I was on cloud nine for days.

I didn’t even say goodbye to Megan and Niall before they left for the trials. I didn’t wish her good luck and ignored her knock on my door. I’d also been ignoring Zoe’s messages; she was asking if I was coming to Amina’s because they were meeting there and getting a car together.

I spent hours getting ready: make-up, hair, fake tan, nails, everything. I needed to look perfect for Shane. I wanted to blow him away and surprise the whole school when I showed up with the hottest guy ever.

I put my dress on, sprayed perfume and slid on my heels. I looked at myself in the mirror. Satisfied. Almost.

I was meeting Shane there. Usually if I wasn’t seeing him until later, like at practice or something, he would send me messages during the day.

But I hadn’t heard from him all afternoon.

I guess it was better that way, then I could surprise him properly.

We were going to meet under the flower arch outside the assembly hall.

I was driving myself there. But before I left, Mum and Dad made me stand in the kitchen to get photos taken.

‘So beautiful, Lexie.’ Mum looked like she was about to cry.

‘Gorgeous,’ Dad agreed. ‘And you’re meeting Zoe there?’ He looked concerned.

‘Yep, she’s waiting for me already.’ I smiled the way I knew made him relax.

‘OK. Well, have an amazing time, Lexie, and no drinking.’

I reached over and hugged him. ‘Dad, I’m driving. And thanks.’ I cringed at the memory of Dad watching the game last night, like some horror movie stuck on repeat in my head.

I shook it off. Soon I’d be with Shane. He’d see me looking amazing, and everything would be perfect.

‘Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?’ Dad asked as I picked up my keys and walked towards the door.

‘And show up to V-Ball with my Dad ?’ I teased.

He held up his hands in surrender, and I laughed before going over to give them both a quick hug, excitement building and hard to hide.

I waited outside the assembly hall, sitting on one of the chairs that was probably intended for the teachers, and watched groups and couples walking in, laughing, happy.

That would be me soon. I watched the entrance, scanning every single male face that came through the door.

I was worried I’d miss him in the sea of tuxedos, so I stood up to get a better look. But he wasn’t any of them.

‘Lex?’ Hunter broke free from his group and came over to me. He looked confused. ‘Thought you weren’t coming tonight?’

I shrugged, still watching the door. ‘Yeah, changed my mind last minute.’

‘I came with Zoe,’ he said. ‘Where’s Niall? It’s been radio silence from him lately.’

‘He’s away with Megan to the NI trials,’ I said, avoiding his gaze.

‘You waiting for someone?’

‘Just a friend.’

‘Do I know them?’

And this time I looked at him. Into the brown eyes that were searching mine for an answer.

‘It’s actually Shane,’ I said. There was no point trying to hide it; he was about to walk through the door.

‘Shane from football Shane?’ Hunter’s eyes were wide, and he looked around like he was trying to find someone to tell.

‘Yeah. Niall doesn’t know yet,’ I said.

‘Fuck, he is not going to take that well. You’re really going out with that dick?’

‘Yeah. And he’s not a dick,’ I said, trying my best not to rise to his words, one eye still on the door.

‘So why didn’t you just say? I mean, I didn’t like you that much that my whole world would end if I knew. In fact, I kind of just asked you out of convenience. Nobody actually cares. Except Niall. He’ll lose his shit.’ Hunter waited for me to answer.

And, whether it was true or not, his words still stung.

‘It wasn’t about that. It was about Niall finding out.’ I felt my hands prick with sweat when I glanced up and Shane still wasn’t walking through the door.

‘Yeah, good luck with that.’ Hunter laughed cruelly. ‘I’m away to find Zoe.’

I felt like telling him that Zoe had asked Shane to V-Ball just to wipe the smug smile off his face, but I was too distracted. I went back to watching the door as he walked away, feeling sick as the crowds of people coming in started to tail off.

I looked at my phone again. No messages. Where was he? Maybe he’d got it wrong. Maybe he thought we were meeting in the hall. I sent him a message.

ME : You on your way?

I stared at the screen, waiting for the little blue ticks that would tell me that he’d read it.

But they didn’t come and now the hint of nausea from earlier was out of control.

I felt uncomfortable standing there at the door where everyone could see me being stood up, and at the same time wondering how many people Hunter had told.

I walked into the assembly hall. It was packed with kids from school, all looking completely at home in their black-tie suits and dresses.

The band played some upbeat cover I didn’t recognize.

Lights swirled overhead, casting sparkles and shadows everywhere.

I walked around, scanning faces, touching shoulders of dark-haired, tuxedo-wearing boys, just to have them turn round and not be Shane.

The head teacher gave a speech, the dance floor filled with couples kissing, and still, no Shane.

I watched Hunter dance with Zoe, who looked gorgeous in a long white satin dress.

I watched him whisper to her and then they both looked at me.

I felt like an idiot standing there alone, watching all these couples having the night of their lives.

The tears were coming back. I could feel them at the back of my eyes and in the back of my throat.

He was supposed to be here. It was supposed to be perfect.

Zoe threw back her head laughing at something Hunter had said, then someone nudged into me, spilling their drink on my dress. And that was the final straw.

The band had just started playing some slowed-up version of Coldplay’s ‘The Scientist’ as I ran through the crowd.

I needed to get out of there. It was like the room was closing in.

All these people, except for the one I needed.

Maybe he was too embarrassed to be seen with me after I’d told him how crap I played last night?

By the time I got out of the hall, I was a mess. Strands of hair had come out of their clips and there was no way my mascara hadn’t run. I took out my phone to ring Dad, just to hear a friendly voice. But, just as I did, I heard my name.

I looked up and my heart stopped. There he was, standing at the flower arch, just like we’d arranged, in his tuxedo. Out of breath, his bow tie askew, dark hair over one eye.

‘I’m so sorry I’m late,’ he said.

I was already halfway to him, tears rolling down my cheeks, reaching up to pull him into a kiss because I needed him. The one person who made me feel like I wasn’t a complete and utter failure.

‘I sent you a message,’ I said, as I pulled away, steadying my voice.

He felt in his pocket for his phone. ‘Sorry, I didn’t check. Everything was a bit chaotic. But I’m here now.’ His brow was furrowed.

I reached up and touched it gently, watching the tension disappear. ‘Are you OK?’ I asked. I was worried.

He smiled and pushed his hair back off his face. ‘I am now.’

I pulled him back into the hall where another slow song was playing, and led him to the dance floor.

We didn’t talk. He didn’t explain why he was late. He just held me as we danced in the enchanted garden and kissed like nobody was watching.