Page 15

Niall wasn’t allowed to do anything all week. No Megan at the house, no going to Hunter’s – just school and football practice, that was it. And if I thought our relationship was bad before, it got even worse.

But I didn’t care. I had Shane. We had another early-morning training session and spent most of it with our tongues down each other’s throats, despite the no-kissing rule that we’d made.

It was like it was impossible to keep apart.

But we had to at practice; Niall could not find out about us.

I heard him on the phone to Hunter having another rant about Shane, how he wasn’t that good and how they were going to make sure he didn’t stay.

Niall didn’t speak to me at all until Thursday, when his car was in the garage, and he needed a lift to school.

‘Can’t believe you told Dad I was drinking.’ He’d never spoken to me with such venom.

And that hurt. Because I hadn’t meant to.

‘You know what he’s like,’ I replied.

‘What kind of excuse is that?’ he said.

I snapped. ‘You know what, Niall? It’s your own fault. You were the one who said we had our own lives, that being a twin meant nothing, so you can just deal with it. And that shit you said to Shane? What the hell was that about?’

‘Oh, you on first-name terms?’ Niall said. ‘What’s got you so defensive? You know you’d do the same if someone came to take your position. Oh wait, you don’t have a position.’

At a red light I hit the brakes harder than I needed to. ‘Fuck off, Niall! When did you turn into such an asshole?’

‘Whatever, Lexie.’

Despite Niall being grounded, Dad and Mum were still going away to Sweden tomorrow.

They’d decided not to cancel, because Mum had planned this insanely detailed itinerary.

They’d made Niall promise to stay in the house all weekend, except for football, but I hoped to God that he’d actually made plans with Megan so I didn’t have to look at his miserable bake for longer than necessary.

And I needed him out of the house, so I could have Shane over.

Niall looked out the window with his earbuds in the whole way.

And because he hadn’t been seeing Megan outside school, actual school was hell.

I don’t know whether they were doing it to piss me off even more, but they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

It was disgusting. And something else had changed.

Megan wasn’t talking to me any more. There was no more of her chat in my ear, trying to act like things were normal. She completely ignored me.

‘What’s the deal with you and Megan?’ Zoe asked me at break time when I was walking across the yard, intending to go for a dander around the pitches.

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re usually with her all the time.’

‘She’s busy with Niall.’

‘Isn’t that really weird for you?’ Zoe was smiling when she asked. I didn’t know if she just couldn’t help it, or she was trying to be extra annoying.

I shrugged. ‘I guess.’

‘Well, you can hang out with me and Amina if you want?’ She offered me a Tic Tac.

I shook my head to both. ‘Thanks.’

‘Did you have fun at the party? I hardly saw you all night. Hunter was looking for you.’ She elbowed me and grinned.

‘Yeah, it was great. Shame I had to leave because of Niall,’ I added.

‘Oh I meant to say, I saw you talking to Shane. You never said you were into him.’ My stomach lurched and I stopped walking to look at Zoe, who wasn’t smiling any more. As I turned round, she burst into a grin and waited for me to answer.

‘Shane? No, I hardly know him.’ I shook my head and looked away, I couldn’t risk her seeing the look on my face that would out me as a liar. ‘But I think he’s seeing someone,’ I added.

‘Yeah maybe, but not at this school.’ She smirked. ‘I think I’m going to ask him out. He’s really hot, don’t you think?’

I shrugged and hoped she wouldn’t notice the flash of heat that was spreading across my cheeks.

‘I’m just going to go for a walk,’ I said, hoping that would make her leave me alone.

‘Oh good idea!’

Ugh. Zoe followed me as I walked.

‘So things are shaping up really well for V-Ball. You know the way it’s an enchanted garden theme?’ Zoe was head of the school council, and she treated the job like it had been prophesied.

I didn’t. ‘Yeah.’

‘Well, there are going to be flowers everywhere, and fairy lights, and it will be so romantic. And Amina’s mum is hiring a photographer to go to her house, so we’re all going to go there first, so you have to come. Yeah? Will you come?’

‘I don’t know.’ I left it at that, unable to think of an excuse quickly enough. I was too busy thinking about Shane and how good he’d look in a tux.

She looked at me, horrified. ‘You have to. Seriously, Lexie, you can’t not go to V-Ball.’

‘I’ll see.’

‘I wonder if you can bring someone from another school,’ she said, and shook her Tic Tacs like it would help her think.

My chest tightened and my breath got quicker. I knew who she was talking about …

‘Shane. I might ask Shane. Don’t you think we’d look really cute together?’

What was I supposed to say?

‘Yeah, really cute,’ I said, the words feeling like poison on my tongue.

‘I have to tell Amina. I’ll see you later, Lexie.’

Zoe ran off, back to school, and then the bell rang.

At the end of school, I drove home without Niall. He could get the bus. I wasn’t waiting around for someone who hated me, and anyway, I needed all the time I could get. I was going to look hot for practice tonight. Hotter than Zoe.

As soon as I got home, I jumped into the shower and used all the expensive stuff Mum had bought me. I shaved, exfoliated and put on fake tan. I even straightened my hair before tying it up in a high ponytail and putting on more make-up than I’d ever worn before.

‘Lexie! You need to eat something,’ Mum called from downstairs when I hadn’t even finished getting ready.

I wasn’t hungry but the last time I went to training on an empty stomach I could barely run.

‘You have to eat before training,’ Mum said, then I heard her say something to Dad.

‘OK, fine!’

‘Take a banana at least,’ she said.

‘OK, I will, I promise.’

I studied myself in the mirror. My cat eyeliner was perfect. Even my eyebrows looked good. I smiled at my reflection, then toned it down, finding the perfect smile.

When I got downstairs the three of them were eating dinner. Dad in silence, Mum talking about some crime show she’d just seen, and Niall sitting there with a face like thunder.

I grabbed a banana from the bowl. ‘I’m leaving now if you need a lift,’ I said in Niall’s direction before going outside to sit in the car. I would have left him to drive himself, but I still had it in me to want to impress Dad.

He joined me five minutes later and I noticed him do a double take when he got in.

‘What is that smell?’ He forced himself to cough.

‘You know it’s perfume.’

‘Did you drown in it or something?’

I didn’t dignify that with a response.

‘OK, girls, big match next week.’ Sadie clapped her hands and scanned the squad. ‘Linfield. Everyone is going to have to play their hearts out. And what’s the point if you don’t? Right?’

‘Right,’ I said, swept up in trying to impress her.

Everyone except Megan turned to look at me.

‘Good. Glad one of you is on board anyway,’ said Sadie, saving me. ‘So, I want to see you train like you mean it tonight. Fitness, then matches. Impress me if you want to see your name on the team list.’

Then we dispersed. My heart swelled, as if I’d already made the team. That’s what it would feel like.

And it helped me push myself even harder than usual, imagining what it would feel like to tell Shane I was playing. I ignored the twinge of longing that showed up when Niall flashed in my head. Before all this, he would have been the one I wanted to tell.

I shoved him out of my head and thought about Shane again. Then we were playing matches. And I marked players the way Shane had shown me.

‘Nice, Lexie,’ Sadie called from the sidelines when I blocked a shot.

I thought I might burst with pride.

Me and Megan were on opposite teams. And when I went in for a tackle, I went in hard. But just as hard as I’d tackle anybody.

‘Lexie, what the fuck?’ Megan was on the ground holding her shin.

‘I got the ball,’ I said with a shrug. Which was true.

But she got me back. Took the ball round me like I wasn’t even there, and scored, top corner like it was effortless. And although she’d been ignoring me, she made sure to look over me before turning to the sidelines with a swing of her chestnut ponytail, to smile at Niall.

‘Yes, Megan!’ Sadie cheered. ‘That’s what I need next week.’

I wondered what it would feel like to hear that from Sadie. I would. I would hear it. I just needed to do more.

By the end of practice sweat was dripping from my face and I had to double over to catch my breath. I pulled on my hoodie and sat in the stands, waiting for the boys to start.

As the boys’ squad flooded the pitch, I looked for Shane. But I couldn’t see him anywhere. Why wasn’t he at training? Then I looked up towards the clubhouse. There he was, leaning against the wall, talking to Zoe.

And I felt sick.