Page 18

‘Lexie?’ Megan’s voice.

Shane and I were just staring at each other. Then I heard footsteps on the stairs.

‘Bathroom, go!’ I hissed.

Shane did as he was told and closed himself in. I walked into the games room, planning to keep Megan out of my bedroom, where Shane’s clothes were still lying on the floor.

Megan had just reached the top of the stairs.

I feigned shock. ‘Oh my God, you scared me. What are you doing here?’ I asked, forgetting again that we weren’t speaking.

‘Niall left his charger here,’ Megan said.

I shrugged. ‘Oh, right.’

Megan walked into Niall’s room. I stayed where I was.

‘Meg, help me find it,’ Niall called from downstairs.

Megan rolled her eyes as she came out of his room and didn’t even look at me as she went downstairs.

I followed her, in the hope I could keep her there and then they’d both leave.

‘Where are you?’ Megan called, irritated.

‘Kitchen,’ he said.

Shit. I hadn’t cleared up after dinner. There were still dishes sitting everywhere. Two plates, two glasses. Maybe they wouldn’t notice.

‘Did you tell her?’ Niall asked Megan.

‘Niall,’ she hissed, annoyed.

‘Tell me what?’

Megan stared at the table. She didn’t say anything, but after a few seconds, she turned to me. ‘Sadie phoned me earlier. There are Northern Ireland trials next week and she wants me to go.’ She said it like she was talking about a holiday or a night out.

I couldn’t speak. My mouth felt dry and my chest tightened. And it felt worse because it had been prompted by Niall.

‘Oh,’ I said. It was all I could get out because nausea-inducing disappointment was seeping through every single one of my veins like poison. Which was stupid. As if Sadie would ask me to do NI trials. I could feel my hands shaking, so I put them in my hair.

‘It’s on the same day as V-Ball,’ she said.

‘And?’ Surely V-Ball wouldn’t even come close to the excitement of this.

‘It’s in Fermanagh, so by the time I get up there, do the trial and get back again, I’ll be wrecked and in no mood to party at all!’

Something snapped. ‘Do you know how lucky you are?’

She shrugged. ‘It’s only lucky if you actually want it.’

I willed the tears to stay behind my eyes. ‘Do you know what I would give to go to an NI trial?’

‘Well you go then.’ Megan seemed to expect me to agree with whatever she said, like usual. But not this.

I narrowed my eyes. ‘Anything. I would give anything to have been invited.’

‘I told you we shouldn’t have said,’ Megan hissed at Niall.

Niall was staring at us, looking guilty. He changed the subject. ‘Lexie, what’s the deal with all the plates? Who’d you have round?’

‘None of your business,’ I said, trying to ignore Megan’s beautifully confused face trying to work it out.

‘Well, it kind of is. It’s my house too,’ he said.

‘It’s none of your business. OK?’ I shouted.

But he was ignoring me, looking at the leftovers. ‘Risotto? Where’d you get this. You can’t cook.’ He snorted.

‘Zoe. It was Zoe. We’ve got kind of friendly lately, so I thought I’d invite her over.’ I shrugged.

Megan scrunched up her face. ‘Zoe?’

‘What’s wrong with that? She’s really nice.’

‘Since when?’ Megan said but didn’t wait for an answer. ‘Whatever, I don’t care.’

She was clearly hurt. And the worst part? I was glad.

‘You’re on a date with Zoe?’ Niall looked over at me, totally confused.

‘It’s not a date; we were just hanging out. But I want to go to bed, so do you guys have somewhere to be?’ I wished they’d leave.

‘Let’s go, Meg. I found it,’ Niall said.

I stayed in the kitchen until they’d left, my hands on the counter, breathing in deeply and trying desperately to get rid of the resentment before I went back up to see Shane.

But it hurt how much she didn’t care when all I did was care.

And why had Niall told her to tell me? So he could see me be upset about it?

I never thought he could be so cruel. But then I’d seen how he was with Shane. Maybe I didn’t really know him at all.

My phone buzzed.

NIALL : I thought you’d be excited for her

I wanted to tell him that I didn’t care. But I couldn’t type out the lie. So I didn’t write back at all. Niall knew how much football meant to me. He knew how much I wanted to be on the team, to be better, how an NI trial would be a dream come true for me.

I was embarrassed to go back upstairs. Shane would know I was upset. I imagined what it would be like to tell him it was me that Sadie had phoned. How excited he’d be for me, how amazing I’d feel.

But I couldn’t leave him in the bathroom.

‘Shane?’ I called when I got into my room. ‘They’re away.’

He came out smiling but his expression immediately changed when he saw my face.

‘What happened?’

I burst into tears. It was so pathetic.

He didn’t ask again; he just walked over and wrapped his arms round me and let me cry into Niall’s hoodie until I’d stopped. Then he led me by the hand over to the bed, where we sat down.

‘Want to talk about it?’ He reached up to wipe away a leftover tear that had escaped.

I shook my head. ‘It’s stupid.’

‘I bet it’s not.’

‘Megan got invited for Northern Ireland trials.’ I forced myself not to cry again.

‘That’s great,’ he said. ‘ Not great?’

‘It would be if she wanted to go. She doesn’t care. Because V-Ball is the same day, she’s actually thinking about not going so she can go to some stupid formal. It’s crazy!’ The rage was building again.

‘Is it?’ Shane asked and I turned to him.

‘Em, yeah? She’s super talented. Why would you want to waste a gift like that?’ I asked, knowing I was right and there was no good answer.

‘Maybe she doesn’t love it? And if you’re going to put your whole life into something like that, you have to love it,’ Shane said simply.

‘So you think she’s right? To ditch this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for V-Ball?’ I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

‘If that’s what she wants to do? Yeah, one hundred per cent.’

I exhaled in anger.

Shane took my hand. ‘Don’t be angry, Lex. It makes no difference to you. And at least she’s brave enough to say no,’ he said, lying back on the bed, his hand still attached to mine.

I lay back too. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I didn’t want to leave Ferndale United.

I was having a great time there, and Raj, our coach, he didn’t take anything seriously.

Lost? Didn’t matter; we just had a laugh about it.

And football was so much fun. But then Harrison spotted me after one of our games and asked me to join Westing.

My dad thought I should go, and I didn’t want to let him down.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I came because I met you.

But I don’t love it either. I wish I had the balls to tell him I was happier at Ferndale. ’

I didn’t know what to say, but I wasn’t angry any more. I listened to him explain it, my heartbeat slowing as he spoke.

‘But you’re so good,’ I said.

‘It doesn’t matter how good I am. I don’t think I want football to be my life. And actually, I respect someone who can stand up and say that instead of doing what I’m doing and just going along with it for someone else.’

‘I guess that makes sense.’ I turned it over in my head, and even though I still couldn’t fully understand Megan, I felt sorry for Shane. I shrugged. ‘Not wanting to let your family down? I get that.’

‘Yeah, and it’s not like my dad puts loads of pressure on me or anything, I’ve always just kind of wanted to impress him, you know?

Is it the same for you?’ He looked at me, genuinely curious.

How could I tell him it was the same for me, except it wasn’t my parents, it was Niall I wanted to impress.

But he’d been such an asshole to Shane – he wouldn’t understand.

‘Sort of yeah, but maybe we shouldn’t talk about families any more.’ I gave him a tiny smile and moved closer, reaching up to push his hair back this time.

‘Good idea.’

I kissed him, my hand still in his hair, and I felt all the tension leave my body.

He smiled. ‘So tell me about V-Ball then. Is it really posh?’

I laughed. ‘I suppose it is. It’s all tuxedos and floor-length dresses.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Would you want to go maybe?’ I forced Niall and Megan out of my head and didn’t think about the huge fall-out that would happen if I showed up with Shane.

He looked at me and hesitated, something obviously on the tip of his tongue. And then he exhaled and gave in to it. ‘Zoe asked if I wanted to go with her. Like, a while ago, and I said no, that I was sort of seeing someone. I thought you should know.’

I shot up to sitting and he did the same. ‘Zoe asked you to V-Ball?’

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. I tried to keep calm, even though my insides burned like my organs were about to spontaneously combust.

‘Yeah, but she asked and I said no, and that was that.’

He was right. She’d asked and he’d said no. It was fine.

‘Anyway, I don’t have a tux.’

‘I can get you one. My mum and dad put money in my account every month and I have way more than I can spend.’

Shane breathed out and looked at me. ‘This is just a different world,’ he said with a laugh. ‘I bet you’re one of those girls who plays a million instruments and went to speech and drama classes too.’

I gave him a side-eye and let him follow my gaze across the room to my clarinet in its box.

‘Flute?’

‘Clarinet,’ I clarified.

‘And? What else do you play?’ he teased.

‘Piano.’

‘I knew it! Will you play something for me? Please?’

‘Oh my God, no, I haven’t played it in ages.’ I put my hands over my face.

‘Please?’ he begged. ‘I never played anything. I think it’s amazing when people can play instruments.’

‘How am I supposed to say no to that?’

I put my clarinet together, turning away as I wet the reed.

Then I played. It was amazing how much I remembered even though I hadn’t touched it in years.

It was out of tune, but it still sounded OK.

I closed my eyes, getting lost in the music, and when I opened them, Shane was staring right at me.

I was on the last few bars when he stood up and walked behind me.

He planted tiny kisses on my bare shoulders right up to my ears, making me shiver with pleasure.

‘Don’t stop,’ he whispered.

So I kept playing, he kept kissing, and soon after I’d played the last note, I’d forgotten all about the stupid NI trials, because now we were lying on my bed, Shane’s body pressed against mine, and I wasn’t thinking about Megan or Niall or football any more, I was only thinking about him.