Page 57 of Margot

“Me.” My answer was meek and quiet in the face of six feet of onyx and two blazing copper orbs.

“So who am I going to spend this last night in Honolulu with then?” His lips pressed against my neck and I turned into a block of ice. I bet anything Margot wouldn’t have turned cold with Lennox pressed against her, naked.

“Me,” I said again, trying to shut my eyes and override my mounting anxiety. It was everywhere though. I wanted to touch my husband, I wanted to hold his cock in my hand and stroke it while he kissed my neck but I couldn’t.

“So put that sexy ass bikini on and let’s spend the day together.” He pulled away and I looked into his eyes right before he turned his back to grab his trunks. He looked crushed.

He could tell I was pulling away from him. Why was I always screwing things up?

After we were both dressed, we walked to the beach in deafening silence. I hated it. I waited until we were dipping our toes into the water before I finally spoke.

“I’m sorry I keep messing up, Lennox. I know that’s what’s pushing you towards Margot.”

“Sutton, stop. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s confusing and it’s going to launch us into an unnecessary argument. Let’s just enjoy today.” His jaw flexed again over and over. I nodded my head and we continued our awkward quiet day on the beach.

I missed the way we were before the broken finger, before the trip to Hawaii and definitely before Margot popped up. I didn’t know that it would change anything but I was looking forward to going home. Maybe some normalcy would help smooth things out between Lennox and me.

Just thinking about going back to Baltimore and sitting at the piano, even if I didn’t play, made me anxious to get the rest of our vacation over with.

After we hung out on the beach for a couple of hours with strained conversation and phony laughs, we headed back to the villa. The moment we hit the door, Lennox grabbed his phone and went out back.

He was calling her.

Nothing could convince me otherwise.

I watched the muscles in his sculpted back flex every time he moved. I stared and stared until I saw what looked like angry scratches decorating his shoulders and trailing down his spine.

My head swam.

My worse fears were confirmed after seeing that. Lennox was screwing Margot. For two years he had never even looked at another woman. He’d never entertained another woman and they all threw themselves at his feet but he caved for Margot. He sacrificed all of his morals for her.

He sacrificedme.

His deep voice rumbled to life while he kept his back to me. I moved closer, pressing myself flat against the wall near the door. I wanted to hear everything he said. Even though it might actually kill me, I needed to hear the way he spoke to her.

“I’m leaving tomorrow. When I get back I need to talk to you. So, you’ll be back by then as well? Perfect. I’ll call you when I get home.” He hung up shortly after and stood there looking out at the trees and the beach in the distance. I stood there trying not to crumble.

I stood there trying not to let the weight of my heavy heart send me crashing to the floor. The love of my life was giving up on me. That hurt worse than knowing he was having sex with another woman. The sex was merely a symptom of Lennox being lonely and losing hope.

I felt sick.

Nausea bit down on me and refused to let go. I rushed to the bathroom, my feet sliding along the smooth wooden floors. The moment I closed and locked the door behind me, I sank to the floor and sobbed quietly, pressing my back against the cool tub in the corner.

I wanted to throw up so badly but nothing would move from my stomach. Everything was glued to me. I kept seeing pictures of Lennox’s scratched up back and my heart hurt with every replay.

I wanted to go home.

I didn’t care about Hawaii.

I didn’t care about dinner on the water.

I just wanted to go back to Baltimore. I wanted to curl up in my bed and cry my soul out.

I tried one more time to throw up but nothing came out. I wondered if that’s what it felt like to be gutted. To feel so full of despair that your body wants to vomit but nothing will come out because you’re empty inside. My mind screamed at the idea.

“Sutton, you okay in there?” Lennox knocked on the bathroom door then tried to open it. Once he realized it was locked, he knocked again. “Sutton, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I sniffled, dragging my hand under my eyes, erasing the heartbreak that slid down my cheeks.