Page 55 of Margot

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

SUTTON

After we’d been in Hawaii for a few days, I finally started to climb out of my funk. My mood sweetened a bit and Lennox and I even made love a few times. I only remembered it in fragments because I hadn’t made enough progress not to lock myself away when it happened, but my body definitely felt the effects.

I hated that the pain pills made me so sleepy at night and that he was left to his own devices. I didn’t hate it because he was alone. I hated it because I knew hewasn’talone.

He never mentioned it but I knew he never stopped going out with Margot. I could feel it in my bones. Whenever I woke up in the middle of the night and he was beside me, he was dead to the world. So exhausted that he wouldn’t budge even if I shook him.

I caught him looking at notes and smiling all the time. Whenever I came around, he put them away. He stuffed them in his pockets or tossed them in the trash. As many times as I tried to grab one and read it, I could never find them after Lennox hid or destroyed them.

It was the single biggest red flag.

The deep ache that spread through my chest every night before I laid down was staggering. How could I be upset though? In a sense, I pushed him toward another woman.

I started getting used to him leaving at night when I would be too tired to hang out with him. I resigned myself to my karma for being so closed off to such a perfect husband.

Well…

Heusedto be perfect.

“Hey, beautiful,” Lennox walked outside and found me staring at the beach while the wind whirled around me. “Can I go in for a hug?” He asked, looking hopeful.

Go hug Margot.

“Sure,” I smiled. My muscles tensed when his arms wrapped around me but somewhere else, somewhere deep in my brain, I melted into the embrace. “I don’t think I’m gonna take my pain pills for the rest of the time we’re here,” I told him once the embrace was broken.

“Why not? You’re supposed to take them for a week. We’re on day six. We leave tomorrow. Why wouldn’t you want to finish up your last couple of doses?”

“I don’t need them,” I snapped, narrowing my eyes. Of course, that’s when a sharp pain cut through my broken middle finger.

Lennox eyed me for a while and nodded. “Okay, cool. I can’t tell you what to do, Sutton.” He pretended to be okay with it but I could tell he was annoyed. His gestures became clipped and his words were short and choppy as well.

“So, does that mean you’ll be up to hanging out tonight?” He quizzed.

“Yeah, probably. Let me know if it’s encroaching on your quality time with Margot.” I folded my arms and Lennox tipped his head back. He let out a throaty groan.

“Pick something off your list of things we’ve never done before and let’s do it. Deal?” His jaw flexed and his eyes bored into me.

“Deal.” I shrugged. “Do you need to tell your friend you won’t be hanging out with her tonight?” I couldn’t stop taking jabs. It didn’t matter that I knew I was the reason he’d been pushed into another woman’s arms.

He was still my husband.

I wasn’t perfect by any means and lately, I’d been downright unlikable but I loved Lennox with every fiber in my being. He was my world. Even if I understood why he was giving attention to another woman, I would fight for him like my life depended on it.

“No, Sutton. I don’t. It’ll be fine.” I hated how cold he sounded but at the same time, I wondered if I sounded that cold when I spoke to him or if I felt that cold when I blocked him from intimacy.

“Let’s have dinner on the water,” I said, trying to recoup from my bruised feelings.

“That sounds good. Wear something pretty.” When he looked at me I tried to read his face but I couldn’t. It was like searching for a memory that wasn’t there. How long had it been since I’d gone out on a date with my husband?

“Pretty?” I blinked a few times like the word was foreign to my vocabulary.

“Yes, Sutton. Wear something pretty so I can take pictures of you. It’s our last night here.” His tone softened and I felt my stomach do that weird flop thing it does whenever Lennox talked.

“Okay,” I nodded. Somehow, Lennox managed to piss me off and make me giddy at one time.

“So, in the meantime, you wanna hit the water?”