Page 43 of Loki’s Spellbinder (Hunters Creek Archangel’s Warriors MC #14)

“I returned to our apartment and waited for her to get home.

I grew more furious as the hours passed, and when she walked in after midnight, I was ready for her.

I asked how her work went. She smiled and told me good.

I asked if she had anything unusual happen with work or the study group.

She told me no. When she got to our bedroom, she found boxes on the bed.

Roxie asked me what they were. I told her they were her things.

She had only brought her personal belongings with her.

The furniture and kitchen had been fully equipped by me.

“She asked if I was joking or had lost my mind. I told her, No, I’d regained it.

I won’t go into the ugly details, but we argued and fought for a long time.

I told her what I had seen and demanded to know who the man was.

She went pale and tried to deny it meant anything.

When I told her to get out, and I never wanted to see her, she cried and begged me to listen.

I didn’t. Instead, I left and I stayed away for three days.

She blew up my phone with calls and messages.

I ignored them. When I returned, she’d taken her things and left.

“I dreaded seeing her on campus, but when I resumed class, I found she was no longer in it. Through mutual friends, I discovered she’d dropped out of school.

I admit, I had mixed feelings about it. My friends at school asked what happened.

I was too embarrassed to tell them a girl had fooled me, so I shrugged it off and lied.

I told them I’d gotten tired of being committed to one girl and had shown her the door. ”

This time, when he stopped, I had to ask. “Did you ever see or speak to her again?”

“No, I didn’t. It was a few months later that I began to wonder if I’d been too hasty.

Was there an innocent explanation, like she tried to tell me?

I was brokenhearted. Finally, I broke down and called her.

The number had been disconnected. I had no way of contacting her.

I knew she wasn’t close to her family, and they wouldn’t know where she was.

If she had others, she didn’t mention them to me.

Her school friends were in the dark as to where she was.

At the end of the school year, I graduated.

“However, I didn’t go into the family business with my family like my parents assumed I would.

Instead, I bought a bike and started to ride.

It helped me escape my thoughts. I got a job as a bricklayer.

An older guy wanted an apprentice with no experience needed.

From there, I learned other things like carpentry, electrical, and plumbing.

I didn’t move back to St. Charles. Eventually, I joined the Warriors, and the rest is history.

“However, as I watched the Warriors and our friends settle down, I kept wondering if I’d thrown away the best thing to happen to me.

Had I been too hasty and immature? Did I let my perfect match slip through my fingers?

What wasn’t I giving her that she had to turn to another man for?

I told a few of my brothers not to hold back going after the one they wanted, or they’d regret it.

I never told anyone about Roxie, other than Bull and, of course, Outlaw.

They do a background check on everyone. Bull asked when they found out I had a college education and was working blue-collar jobs.

He got it out of me about Roxie and how I didn’t want the others to know.

Bull said they wouldn’t judge me, but I judged myself.

So Bull remained quiet. I had never heard from Roxie until that boy gave me the letter. ”

Emotions swirled inside me, but I croaked, “What did the letter say?”

Loki rubbed his hands across the braids on the top of his head. I loved his hair like that, though, when he took the braids out, I got to feel and see those free-flowing locks, and it was great, too.

“Basically, it was telling me that Xander is my son. She’d raised him all these years, and it was my turn.

She has a boyfriend who doesn’t like kids or want one around.

He convinced her to give up the boy to me so they could live an unencumbered life.

She dropped him off at the gate and then took a vacation with her boyfriend.

Xander has no idea where and is convinced that if we return him to her, she’ll put him in an orphanage or foster care.

He’s not confident we won’t do the same.

I tried to assure him that if he were my son, that wouldn’t happen.

There’s a copy of a DNA test in with the letter.

Not sure where she got my sample from, but it says it’s ninety-eight-point-two percent likely I’m his dad.

We’re having Zara do a test for us to be sure.

By the end of the week, we should know for sure. ”

Loki finished talking and then sat there watching me. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say. Before I said my piece, I wanted to hear the second thing he hadn’t told me.

“I have no doubts that he’s yours, Loki, just as I said earlier. I need to know the other thing you said you planned to tell me, but not until we were further into our relationship. Living together and being claimed as an old lady is pretty far into it.”

“It really isn’t something that affects us in our daily lives. I don’t speak of it because people tend to act differently toward me when they know. It doesn’t define me.”

“Loki, tell me.”

“Stop calling me Loki. We’re alone. It’s Alexander,” he growled. His displeasure at me calling him that showed. I stayed silent. After a long minute, he sighed.

“Fine, we’ll talk about that later. I told you my name is Alexander Cash Lane.

What I didn’t tell you is that my family’s business provides small, luxury airplanes to wealthy clients.

We have pilots, maintain the planes, store them, and have a private airfield they can use.

It has been around for years, making my parents wealthy, with millions of dollars in annual earnings.

I’m their only heir, so I’ll inherit it all.

Although I have no involvement with the business, I receive a substantial yearly payout.

I’ve asked them not to do it, but they refuse to stop.

“My parents are lovely people. I had a charmed, though not excessively spoiled, upbringing. You’d think they’re snobs, but they aren’t.

My joining the Warriors was a blow for them, but they seem to have accepted it.

I talk to them and visit them once a year.

No one but Bull knows where I go. Like most parents, they’ve been hoping I’ll get married and have a family soon.

Okay, that’s it. Everything I didn’t tell you.

I didn’t tell you about the money because I wanted to ensure you knew the real me before adding that.

I’ve seen in the past that knowledge changes how people see me. I’m just Loki.”

I sat there, letting everything he said whirl around in my brain, heart, and soul. While I could understand a lot of it, two things were glaringly apparent to me.

“Baby, please, say something. I’m dying here.

I know I fucked up, and I’ll do whatever you want to make up for it.

I know that being saddled with a kid who isn’t yours isn’t what you signed up for.

But I swear, if he’s mine, I’ll make it so you don’t feel burdened.

However, I can’t just ignore that he’s mine if he is. ”

“And I would never want you to abandon him. He’s your son. He deserves a father and to be loved. A happy home is a must for him. I would never turn him away,” I told him.

I saw Loki’s relieved smile. I continued, “But that’s not what the issue is.

You kept something very hurtful and life-changing about yourself from me.

Whether you were ashamed or whatever, you should’ve told me.

I shared all my shameful and hurtful moments with you.

And you loved a woman before. You said I was the only one you ever loved. ”

He opened his mouth to argue, but I stopped him.

“No, it’s my turn to speak and for you to listen.

Then, to add to it, you kept your family history from me.

You can say it was to ensure I knew the real Loki, but I believe it was so you were sure I was with you for you, not your money.

I want a partner—someone I can rely on. I want a family and to build a future with someone. ”

“And we are. I swear, it won’t derail that. I just need to deal with Roxie and Xander. And I have only ever loved you.”

“Do you? I see a repeat pattern of what happened with Roxie. We were fast-moving in together, saying I love you, and then pushing to build a future together. I love you, but I’m not sure you love me or even know what it means.”

Loki shook his head emphatically. “No, I love you, and I know what it means. Years ago, I thought I loved Roxie and lost my chance, but I know what true love is after meeting you. I love you. Give me time to get Xander figured out so we can build our future. I will never lie or withhold information from you again. Not when it comes to personal shit. You know, when it’s club business, I can’t tell you everything. ”

“I do know about club business. I believe you should settle this question if Xander is yours, and when it shows he is, focus your time and energies on making your son feel welcome and loved. He’ll need you after what sounds like a shitty life with his mom.”

“Yes, we’ll do that,” he said in relief.

“I can’t be a part of that process, and I don’t know if I can be a part of your life afterward. I need space and time. I’m sorry, but I can’t commit to being your old lady, Loki. And it wouldn’t be fair to make Xander think I was in his life, only to walk away later.”