Page 42 of Loki’s Spellbinder (Hunters Creek Archangel’s Warriors MC #14)

I started out not knowing what to feel, which progressed to feeling numb. By the time Loki came to the house, I was moving into the furious stage. It took everything I had not to slap him and scream profanities at him.

I hadn’t lied. I wasn’t angry over the fact that he had a child. It was the fact that he either knew and never told me, and ignored his responsibility, or he didn’t tell me he’d ever been serious with a woman or had an oops baby. It made me wonder what else he hadn’t told me.

It hurt because I shared everything with him.

I shared more details about my dad, the things he did, and how it made me feel.

I told him about every guy I dated seriously and why we didn’t work out.

I didn’t go into intimate details, but I shared what I liked in the bedroom and what I was curious to try.

I told him how my brother and I had never been close, even growing up, and how Wrath was more of a brother than Hayes. I even shared my thoughts on what I wanted from my career and in a family.

While he had shared what I thought at the time were all of his past and significant things, why exclude me from the talk with Bull unless there was something he wanted to hide? Lying and hiding stuff was a big no for me.

I’d gone to his house and eventually packed enough clothes to take over to one of the townhomes.

I knew I had to think things through, and running off into the world without a plan was stupid.

However, staying in town when no one knew I was here wasn’t dangerous.

I’d be staying primarily in my room anyway.

Kneeing Loki in the nuts had been reflexive for me. Had I regretted it? No, not at that moment. I wanted him to hurt like I was. Leaving him there on the floor had made me feel no better, but I did get free.

Bull was coming out of the clubhouse with Devyn, Ace, and Jocelyn when I approached it.

He said he was coming to see me about my text.

When he asked where Loki was, I told him at the house.

Then I’d asked if I could stay in one of the townhouses or get a ride to town.

He’d given me a home. As we talked, Tank and Brynlee had joined us.

Soon, Brynlee and Jocelyn escorted me to the townhome, leaving the three men behind to do whatever.

When the old ladies offered me ears to talk to, I declined and asked them to go so I could think. They were reluctant, but they left.

I went over in my mind what happened with Xander, the secret meeting, and what it did to me, and what it meant for my future. I made a few decisions, too. They were what I needed to do at the moment.

I was sitting on the bed in the townhome’s main bedroom.

I was too caught up in my thoughts to take in the decor and setup, other than to note that it appeared fully furnished and that the place was fully ready for guests.

Vaguely, I thought how Mom and Daddy Rage would’ve enjoyed staying in one.

I doubted it would happen now unless it were during a regular club run.

They wouldn’t be here to visit their daughter and her man or family.

At that thought, the tears I’d been battling to hold in broke free.

They poured down my face, and sobs kept escaping.

After I started, I couldn’t stop, and I ended up curled in the fetal position on the bed.

I had no idea how long I’d cried before I realized I wasn’t alone.

I flipped over to find Loki standing next to the bed.

His face appeared remorseful, but I didn’t care.

“Get out,” I hissed as I wiped at my wet cheeks. I hated him seeing me this way. I wasn’t projecting a tough woman image. I sat up.

Loki shook his head as he responded to my demand. “No, I’m not leaving you like this. I know you’re upset with me. And you have a right to be. We need to talk this through. I need to explain a few things and why I did what I did. I made a mistake.”

“Yes, you did make a mistake. You mistook me for someone willing to have only a part of you. Someone who would allow you to hold things back, while I stupidly thought we shared everything with each other. I won’t make that mistake again.”

I stood and took a step. I needed to wash my face and calm myself. I stumbled. I caught Loki moving toward me. I held up my hand and barked, “Don’t touch me. I’ve got it. Leave, Loki.”

“Braelyn, please, listen to me. I know you’re hurt, and it’s my fault, but you can’t throw away our life together over a mistake. I can make this right,” he pledged.

Realizing he wouldn’t stop until I listened, I kept walking to the bathroom. As I did, I directed him, without glancing back, “Then follow me and talk fast. I’m not feeling patient.”

Instantly, he was coming up behind me. Loki made sure not to touch me, though he did remain close. Turning on the water, I got a washcloth, wet it, and wiped away the tears. Then, I held the cool cloth to my eyes. They felt swollen and sore.

“You’re not talking,” I said woodenly.

“I’d like us to sit and be comfortable. It’ll take a while to explain it all.”

Sighing, I took the cloth away from my face, though I hung onto it. “We’ll sit in the great room.”

As I approached him in the doorway, he stayed still. I stared at him until he moved so I could pass him. I made sure no part of me touched him. His scent hit my nose, teasing me, but I kept strong. While my body yearned for him, my heart was shredded, and my brain was warning me away.

When we reached the living room, I made sure to sit in one of the reclining chairs. He had no choice but to sit on the couch or the other chair. The way his mouth tightened told me he wasn’t happy, but Loki sat on the end of the couch closest to me.

“Braelyn, I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I didn’t tell you what I’m about to tell you. One of them was too painful and shameful to speak of. The other was something that I would’ve told you, but not yet. Let’s start with the part that includes Xander.”

Loki paused and grimaced. I made sure my expression was blank.

“I grew up in St. Charles, Missouri. I told you that. What I didn’t mention was that I went to college in Columbia, Missouri.

My parents insisted I get a degree in something.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I chose to get a business degree to please them.

I figured it was broad enough that no matter what I ended up doing, it would help.

“I was your typical teenage guy, and that continued to be the same as a young college student away from home. I attended classes because I knew my parents would pitch a fit if I didn’t give my education proper attention.

But when I wasn’t in classes, studying, or completing my work, I was a typical college student.

I partied, and there were plenty of girls. I seemed to be popular with them.

“I’d had an on-and-off girlfriend until my senior year in high school.

I kept things casual and had no girlfriend until my senior year of college.

It was the beginning of my last year when I met Roxanne, Roxie, in a mutual class.

There was something about her that snagged my attention.

She intrigued me, so I asked her out. At first, she said no, so I kept asking until she said yes.

We progressed from that to becoming a couple rather quickly. ”

Loki stopped and gave me a pained look before he continued.

“Roxie and I fell for each other. It wasn’t long until we said I love you, and she moved in with me.

I lived off campus in a small apartment rather than in the dorm.

I worked and went to school. She was there on a scholarship and a work program, so we were busy but making it.

We’d been together for four or five months.

I hadn’t taken her home yet to meet my parents, but it was planned.

I thought it was going great, and I was planning to ask her to marry me after we graduated.

“Then, she started to work more and seemed to be distancing herself. I asked her if anything was wrong. She assured me it wasn’t.

Sex became less and less frequent between us.

I kept telling myself it was the stress of our senior year and working that was causing the issue.

I kept that going for a few more months until I caught her in a lie. ”

Again, he paused. I wanted to ask what the lie was. I held in my hurt that he’d loved another woman. However, similarities between us were jumping out at me. My chest hurt.

“She told me she had a study group after class and then had picked up an extra shift that evening at her job. She wouldn’t be home until after midnight.

I offered to drive her to work. She turned me down.

Later, I got restless and decided to surprise her on her shift.

I didn’t go there usually because she felt weird having me come to eat at the restaurant where she worked.

Since she did, I stayed away from it. However, that night, I wanted to surprise her and check on how she was.

When we’d spoken earlier, she had seemed preoccupied.

“Imagine my surprise when I got there and asked for her and was told she was off that night. Learning that, I went to check where she had her study group. Had I misunderstood her? Was she still with the group? It was an out-of-the-way coffee shop far from campus. She claimed it was quieter than any other place they tried to study. I’d parked and was heading through the parking lot to the building when I saw her come out.

I was opening my mouth to shout her name when a guy came rushing out behind her.

He put his arm around her and pulled her close.

“I didn’t like that much and planned to tell him so, but she smiled at him and they kissed. It wasn’t a friendly kiss on the cheek or a barely there peck on the lips. It was a passionate lip-lock. I got the hell out of there before I did something stupid, like beat the guy to death.