Page 40 of Loki’s Spellbinder (Hunters Creek Archangel’s Warriors MC #14)

My mind whirled. I couldn’t think beyond the fact that I had to speak to Bull alone, and he’d help me to process this.

When Braelyn had gone to come with us, I panicked and told her something.

I didn’t recall what. But she stayed behind in the common room.

When we reached his clubhouse office, I dropped into a chair while Bull shut the door.

He came to sit across from me. I stared at the floor.

I didn’t know how long it lasted before he said anything.

“Loki, you need to talk to me. I can tell you’ve been dealt a blow, but I don’t know what. You’ve been sitting there for ten minutes saying nothing. Your woman is out there waiting, along with that boy, for you. Tell me what that letter said,” Bull ordered eventually.

“It said a lot of things. But the gist is that Xander is supposedly my son, and his mother is giving him to me to finish raising. She said she has done it long enough,” I said hoarsely. Saying it aloud didn’t seem to make it any more believable.

“Fuck,” Bull muttered.

“Yeah, my thoughts, though with more swear words,” I said.

“And who is his mother?”

“Roxie,” I told him.

“Well, son of a bitch, that’s a name from the past for you. Christ, and I know you had no idea he existed. Do you think she told the truth and he’s yours?”

“I don’t know, Pres. I don’t know.”

Unable to sit a moment longer, I got up to pace. I dropped the letter on his desk for him to read. I kept pacing while he did. My head wasn’t any better. What if he were mine? What did I do?

“Uhm, Loki, brother, did you look at the last page?” Bull asked.

“Last page? You mean where she signed it?”

“No, the one after it. They were stuck together. I think you need to read it.”

“Just tell me, Bull.”

“It’s a DNA test, and it has your name on it and Xander’s.

It says the probability of the boy being yours is ninety-eight-point-two percent.

If it’s not a fake, then he’s your son. It makes sense that his name is Xander since it’s a shortened form of Alexander.

This paperwork states his name is Xander Cash Lane. ”

I went to Bull and took the paper he held out to me. I read it, not understanding all of it. My full name was Alexander Cash Lane. My name kept leaping off the page at me, along with the percentage.

I fell into my chair. I rubbed my head. “Christ above, Bull, what if he is mine? What do I do?”

“Well, first thing is you go out there and make shit right.”

“How do you suggest I make it right when I didn’t know he existed? Or if he’s truly mine. She could’ve faked this result.”

“From what you told me, Roxie could’ve. We’ll have another test done, but that wasn’t what I meant.

Why did you have Brae stay out there? She could’ve been a comfort to you learning this.

In times like these, you lean on your partner.

You blocked your woman out of something vastly important.

She should’ve been in here. Have you told her about your past with Roxie? ”

My stomach rolled and I felt sick. I hadn’t told her about that piece and one other part of my past life.

I hoped never to tell her about my stupidest moment of my youth, and the other, I was waiting to explain when we were married.

It seemed I’d have to tell her about Roxie and how Brae might’ve gained not just an old man but a kid.

Shit, what if she didn’t want him? I would never turn my back on my kid, no matter what.

But I couldn’t see myself living without Braelyn. I hung my head and groaned.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Loki? I understand not telling everyone about your past, not that I thought it was terrible. You were young and dumb. We all were. But not to tell the woman you claim to love and want to spend your life with? She’s your old lady!”

“Goddamn it, I know I should’ve. I was waiting and trying to think how to tell her of my stupidest moment. It was dumb for a different reason than I always thought. And don’t ever doubt I love Braelyn,” I snapped.

“Then you’d better get your ass out there, apologize, tell her your past, and who he is.

We’ll keep the boy entertained. Once you do that, we can get him situated.

He has to be scared to death. According to the letter, he knows you’re his dad, and his Mom probably doesn’t want him.

Any woman who would give up their kid for that reason is a piece of shit.

You can give him a stable and loving home. ”

“I can, but what if Braelyn doesn’t want him? We’ve barely started our life together. She didn’t ask to take on my mistake.”

“The situation was a mistake. The boy isn’t,” Bull said sternly.

“What if he isn’t mine?”

“We’ll still find a way to care for him. No way would I send him back to her. If you won’t raise him, I’ll see if Jocelyn will do it with me. I won’t put that poor kid in foster care.”

As Bull calmly accepted that he’d do it, my brain began to settle, and I could think.

He was right. The first thing was to go and take Braelyn behind closed doors to explain what was going on.

After that, I’d see to the boy’s comfort, though I knew my club would put him at ease.

Poor kid, he had to be hurt and confused.

If Roxie were in front of me, I’d choke her.

I got to my feet. “Let’s go get my woman. Thanks, Pres. I’m thinking clearly. Damn, if she doesn’t punch me in the face, I’ll be lucky,” I confessed.

Bull got up and came around the desk to me. He slapped my back. “And you’d deserve it. Just remember, our women are far smarter and forgiving than we are. Just don’t take advantage of that love, or you could lose her. Tell her everything, Loki, not just about Roxie.”

I knew he was right. I had to come clean about all of it.

I opened the door and we walked back to the common room together.

When I entered it, I saw it was even more crowded.

Undoubtedly, the others messaged the rest to come and view the spectacle.

Everyone cast me sympathetic or questioning looks.

All I cared about was Braelyn and my son.

God, that didn’t sound right. When I didn’t see her, I went to Jocelyn, who was still sitting at the table with Xander.

The boy’s anxious eyes landed on me. I smiled. “Xander, I need a few minutes. I need to speak to my woman, and then we’ll talk. I promise. Everything is gonna be alright.”

With that said, I addressed Jocelyn. “Joc, where’s Braelyn?”

“She left,” she answered.

“What do you mean she left? To go where?”

“I assume she went to your house. She was understandably upset when she was told you have a son,” Jocelyn answered.

I groaned. Shit, it was worse than I hoped. I wanted to be the one to tell her that he could be mine.

“Go, we’ll look after Xander,” Bull said.

I didn’t wait. I sprinted for the door. I’d be back later and talk to the boy.

I still couldn’t think of him as my son.

And he might not be. Roxie wouldn’t be above lying.

I’d discovered it long ago. I ran as fast as I could to the house.

I hardly slowed down when I reached it before bursting through the front door.

“Braelyn, where are you?” I shouted.

Total silence greeted me. Unwilling to believe the worst, I raced to the kitchen and the great room.

When I didn’t find her there, I went to our bedroom.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw her sitting at the end of the bed.

She was staring at the doorway. My heart settled.

She didn’t appear upset. Her expression was calm.

“Babe, didn’t you hear me call your name? I was looking for you,” I told her as I walked toward her.

“I heard you. I decided not to say anything.”

“Why not?”

“I wasn’t sure if you would want me to say anything.”

I stopped and frowned. “That doesn’t make any sense. Why wouldn’t I want you to say something, especially when I called for you?”

“Well, see, I’m confused. When exactly, as your woman, am I supposed to answer or not? Be with you or not? Or be included in your life or not?” There was a definite bite to her tone. I sighed.

“Babe, we need to talk. I have things I need to tell you about my past.”

“Oh, you want to talk now, do you? After the super-secret discussion with your president, I can now be spoken to. Well, Loki, I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to see you. I don’t care to hear what you have to say. I want to be alone to think.”

As soon as she finished speaking, she came to her feet. As she did, I saw the bag on the bed behind her. My heart sped up. “What’s the bag for?” I asked stupidly.

“It contains some of my things. I’ll be going to one of the townhomes to stay. I sent off a text asking if I could use one. If they don’t want me to, I’ll call for a taxi, Uber, or whatever you have around here to take me into town, and I’ll stay at a hotel.”

“You can’t go to town, and I’m not letting you go to the townhomes. Sit and let me explain. I know you’re upset about finding out I might have a kid. So am I. But it’s no reason to run off.”

“I’m not running off, as you call it. And I’m not doing it because you have a child. There’s no maybe about it. Look at him, Loki. He has your eyes, nose, and more. He’s your son. That’s not why I want to be alone.”

“Then why? I don’t understand.”

“Because you don’t want me to know everything about you or your past. I shared all of mine.

You’re hiding shit. I told you I wouldn’t be with a man who abuses me or cheats.

I forgot two more. I won’t be with one who hides shit or lies.

You keep your secrets, but you can do that with someone else as your old lady. ”