Page 96 of Lessons in Chemistry

“Because he’s your boyfriend, but his head is in my lap.”

Emory kisses me. “I’m not jealous.” He turns the film back on.

Why does it feel so right to have Emory cuddled up to me while Casey is sleeping on me? It’s as if my heart wants to expand to accommodate them both. If only. We’re in a vee. Casey is Emory’s boyfriend. Not mine. He only sat beside me because I was upset and angry when he got home. If I hadn’t been, he would have sat beside Emory and fallen asleep on him. Wouldn’t he?

“What did you think?” Emory sounds like an excited puppy.

“Huh?”

“About the film?”

I blink at the screen. Emory must have muted the TV because there’s no peppy music accompanying the credits.

“Were you paying attention?”

“I was for most of it. Until Casey fell asleep, and then I got distracted by having two gorgeous guys cuddled up to me.”

Emory strokes Casey’s hair. “He is beautiful, isn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“So are you.” He kisses me tenderly while still touching Casey.

It’s the most perfect moment I’ve ever experienced. My heart swells, and my throat constricts. I kiss Emory harder, slipping my tongue between his lips. I want him to know how much I adore him. How much I want him. After a few heady moments, we break apart.

“What did you think about the film?”

“The film was okay, I guess, but the company was amazing. I had a great time.”

“Should we wake Casey up yet?”

I shake my head and coax Emory to rest his head on my chest. “I want to stay like this for a while. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes. I like having my two favourite people close.”

My heart quivers. I’ve never been someone’s favourite person before. It makes me teary to know Emory feels that way about me. He’s my favourite person too, and I’m fairly sure that Casey is sneaking into my heart as well, whether he means to or not.

20

CASEY

Auggie meets me at the bus station on Saturday morning. We stand awkwardly for a moment, neither of us knowing what greeting to give the other. In the end, we give each other what Em would call a bro hug. It’s a ‘one-armed, firm pat on the back’ hug. And yet even though it’s the kind of hug two male friends would give each other, it feels nice to have Auggie’s arm around me. Almost as nice as when I woke up in the early hours of the morning with my head on his lap while Em was stroking my hair. I felt bad when Auggie decided to get a taxi home but couldn’t figure out how to ask him to stay.

“You give good hugs.” I’m still slightly bemused at how safe I feel with him. In the grand scheme of things, I barely know him, yet embracing him feels right, as if my heart knows he won’t hurt me.

“So do you. I… never mind.”

“What?”

“I was going to say I give good kisses too, but that’s crossing a line.”

I consider that. He and Em have said they’re open to forming a triad rather than a vee, but I’m still wrapping my head around how I feel about Em, romance, and sex. I’m still getting used to the idea that it’s okay to be in a poly relationship and that, even though Em is with Auggie and me, I don’t have to feel jealous.

I’m not jealous. Things have been great between Em and me since last Sunday, and I know from the sappy grin on his face that they’ve been good between him and Auggie too.

Auggie is coming to the flat this evening while I’m swimming. I wonder if he’ll stay over this time. He hasn’t yet, but it’s a step they’re going to want to take soon, and I’m surprisingly okay with that. Auggie isn’t a threat. He isn’t my competition. He’s someone else who makes Em happy.

Tuesday is our check-in day to ensure we all want to continue our vee relationship. I get tummy butterflies thinking about how that’s going to go. I doubt any of us are going to back out of it, but will any of us ask for more?