Page 71 of Lessons in Chemistry

“We—well, Auggie, really—had an idea. But we wanted to run it by you to see what you think.”

I frown. “You want Auggie to move in?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. It’s way too early for that,” Em says.

Auggie laughs. “Stop guessing and listen, okay?”

I stare at my plate. “Okay.”

I listen, not saying a word, as a very animated Auggie talks about how he’s researched polyamorous relationships and how one could work for us. He reminds me of my ‘love right-angle’ comment as he explains what a vee relationship is. When he talks about polyfidelity, his voice softens and takes on a hopeful lilt. Through it all, Em stares at me, eyes wide, as though he’s reading my mind so he knows what I’m thinking.

“So you see, you can have a romantic relationship with Emory. I mean, you could have one anyway without doing the poly thing, but I think this solution deals with your worries about why that might not work,” Auggie says.

I rub my hand over my hair.

“Say something,” Em whispers.

“Give me a moment to get my head around it. We’re not exactly surrounded by poly relationships.”

“If the media is to be believed, all relationships are monogamous, and if they’re not, it’s because someone is cheating,” Auggie says.

All the movies Emory likes to watch have heterosexual, monogamous couples. According to him, the films that do have gay couples tend to have depressing endings, so he doesn’t watch them. It’s a bit shit, really. I’ve certainly never seen myself represented on TV or in film. Maybe that’s why I haven’t fully figured myself out yet, although I’m getting there, thanks to Auggie and the Internet.

“You would be okay with sharing Em with me?” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “That sounds awful.”

“It doesn’t. That’s pretty much how it would be,” Auggie says.

“How would it even work? Wouldn’t someone get jealous?” It was bad enough when I walked in on them kissing. Only I thought I was losing him then. Would I need to feel jealous knowing Em was with both of us?

Auggie stacks the empty dishes. “The common thread that came up in my research was communication. Everyone has to be honest about their thoughts and feelings every step of the way.”

“That makes sense.”

He reaches across the table, but his fingers fall short of touching my hand. “All I’m suggesting is that we try it out. It would be new for all of us. Hell, having a boyfriend rather than a conquest would be new for me.”

I narrow my eyes.

“Don’t give me that ‘I’ll wreck you if you hurt him’ look. I want Emory to be my boyfriend. No messing around. No fucking and running.”

Em’s face goes bright red.

“But as much as he might fancy me, he’s in love with you. And I think you’re in love with him too.”

I glance at Em, smiling involuntarily at how sweet and hopeful he looks.

Auggie puts the last dish on the pile. “This is a way for you to be together. Where you’ll know both your needs are being met, and neither of you will need to give something up you want or do something you’re not comfortable with.”

“Which isn’t to say I’d be going to Auggie for sex,” Em says.

“No. He’d have a romantic relationship with both of us. The only difference is that when Emory’s ready, our relationship will also include sex. He can want us both, and if you agree, he can have us both. It’s the perfect solution.”

It might be.

“What do you think?” Em asks.

I look between them again. I was jealous when I saw them kissing. Wouldn’t I be jealous knowing they were together, even if Emory was technically with me too? Would he eventually choose Auggie anyway?

“I need a minute,” I say.