Page 46 of Lessons in Chemistry

Auggie

Hey. Just checking in to make sure you’re okay.

I frown. He said I could talk to him if needed, but I didn’t expect him to contact me.

Sorry, I was at training. Heading home now.

But are you okay?

I swipe my thumb over my phone to stop the screen from going dark and ponder how to reply. ‘Yes’ would be the easiest answer, but it’s not true.

I’ve been better, but I’ll be okay.

Need a chat?

The bus pulls up, giving me time to think about Auggie’s question as I show my return ticket and find a seat.

Maybe. Not tonight. Thanks, though.

Tired after training?

Yes. But Em will worry if I don’t get home at my usual time.

And it would be weird to tell him I was late because I was with Auggie, and even weirder not to tell him. I knock my head softly against the window.

I’ve seen Emory a couple of times since Monday.

I know. He told me. Thanks for looking out for him.

Have you thought about what we talked about?

Some. I’ve even done some reading on the Internet.

Is it helping?

A little.

Still confused?

I think that’s going to be my norm for a while.

The offer’s there if you need to talk.

I believe him. He barely knows me and has every reason not to want anything to do with me, yet he’s been nice to me. I understand what Em sees in him and why my best friend goes bright red whenever Auggie’s name is mentioned. Is Em still my best friend? It’s hard to tell with the way things have been between us since the fake date.

Or you could talk to Emory.

I tap the side of my phone against my lips. I should talk to Em, but what would I say?Hey, Em, I kinda lied the other day. I might be in love with you, but I’m never going to want to have sex with you. Go be with the guy who can meet your needs.It sounds crass in my head, like I’m insinuating that sex is the most important thing to Em. I don’t believe that at all, but I know he wants sex as part of a relationship. He talks to me about losing his virginity one day. It’s something he’s anxious and excited about. Something he definitely wants to happen.

I’m going to assume you’re too busy to reply. You wouldn’t ignore me, would you?

Auggie’s text makes me smile.

I’m not ignoring you. I was thinking.

About what to say to Emory?

Yes.