Page 16 of Lessons in Chemistry

“But you would if you were in a movie. And you’d hang out with the cool kids. Or be one of the cool kids. There’s not much difference between jocks and cool kids, except the jocks are often portrayed as being a bit dumb.”

“Hey.”

“I’m not saying you’re dumb. But you are into sports, and you do spend more time swimming than doing anything else. In the movies, you’d get the girl.” I clear my throat. “Or the guy if that’s what you wanted.” I study his face.

He doesn’t even blink. “We’ve been through this before, Em. This isn’t a movie. Besides, I’m not interested in dating, so why would I know how to profess my love for someone?”

I snort. “I don’t love him. I think he’s hot. There’s a huge difference.”

“How would film characters tell someone they were into them?”

I scoff. “In the movies, Auggie wouldn’t even be talking to me.”

Casey sighs. “Apparently, as a jock, I shouldn’t even be your friend. But I am.”

“Yeah, but that’s because you’re you.”

Casey scrunches his face. “Should I take that as a compliment?”

“Yes.” I want to lean down and kiss him. I bite my lip instead. “The only reason he’s talking to me is to get my help. He doesn’t like me.”

Casey squeezes me tight. “Em.”

“Yes?”

“Please don’t put yourself down like that.” His voice carries a heavy sadness, which makes my chest squeeze so tight I forget to breathe. “You’re a great guy. You’re smart and caring, and you give amazing hugs. If Auggie doesn’t see that, then he’s an idiot.”

I force a laugh. “I’ve never hugged him, so he doesn’t know I give great hugs.”

“Maybe not, but he’s spent enough time with you this week to know how wonderful you are.”

I sniff. “Thanks.” If only he were saying those things because he likes me, but I’m sure it’s coming from a place of friendship, especially as he’s suggesting I should… what? “Are you telling me to ask Auggie out?”

“Do you want to?”

“I’ve never asked anyone out.”

“There’s a first time for everything.”

That’s true. “Do you think I should?”

Casey is quiet for a while. “You should do whatever’s going to make you happy.”

I stroke his shoulder as I debate his reply. What would make me happy? Telling Auggie I fancy him, telling Casey I’m in love with him, or keeping my mouth shut and my feelings to myself?

“What if I tell him and he doesn’t like me back?” Who am I talking about, Auggie or Casey?

“At least you’d know.”

“What if it makes things strange between us?”

“Why would it?”

“Confessions of unrequited love tend to fuck things up between friends.”

Casey tickles me under my rib cage. “You said you weren’t friends.”

I squirm and laugh. “We’re not.”