Page 120 of Lessons in Chemistry

“Um—”

“Don’t you like it?” Em asks.

“Yes, but I’m confused.”

“Relax and enjoy,” Auggie says.

I do, but my thoughts still ping-pong around. Or they do until I succumb to the calming pressure of their hands. I sigh, close my eyes, and let my head sag against the top of the sofa. Em’s hands work the tight knots out of my shoulders while my feet turn to jelly thanks to Auggie’s skilled fingers.

“So nice.” What have I done to deserve this?

The weight of Auggie’s thumbs pressing against my instep uncoils something inside me. I groan and then gasp, opening my eyes as I tense and pull away. Auggie’s grip remains firm, not letting me escape. Em stills his hands but leaves them on my shoulders, pushing down slightly, which has a grounding effect.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

“Uh—” Why did I freak out? The massages were lovely, so I don’t think that was the trigger, so what was? Unable to piece it together, I rub my temples.

“Was it because you groaned?” Auggie asks.

He’s right. How does he know me better than I know myself?

“I don’t understand,” Em says.

“Aren’t groans sexual?” I whisper.

“They can be. But really, they’re a way of expressing pleasure. You were enjoying it, weren’t you?”

I nod. “I think I thought you might expect something more from me when I reacted that way. Maybe you’d think you’d found a way to turn me on or something. It’s stupid.”

Auggie releases my foot and sits beside me on the sofa. He pulls me into his arms so my cheek is resting over his heart. “It’s not stupid. You can’t help the way you feel. Maybe that concern is highlighting something else you’re worried about.”

Emory lets go of my shoulders and sits on the other side of me. “Is there something else you’re worried about?”

I reach behind me so I can thread my fingers through Em’s. “I was worried I was going to come home to discover you had decided to be a couple. You’ve spent the weekend together without me. You might have realised that you don’t need me, especially when I can’t give you everything you desire.”

Em presses his cheek against my back. “Oh, Casey. We missed you.”

“Being together is great, but it doesn’t feel complete without you,” Auggie says.

“Which is why we wanted to spoil you when you got home,” Em says.

“Right. We know how cuddly and tactile you are. Touch is your love language, so we thought you’d enjoy a massage,” Auggie says.”

“I was enjoying it. I’m sorry I ruined the moment.”

“You didn’t. We promised we’d communicate, and that’s what we’re doing.”

“Talk to us,” Em says.

I suck in a breath. It would be better to tell them what’s in my head rather than bottling it up. “I felt weird over the weekend, knowing you were staying together in a hotel while I was with the team.” I chew the inside of my cheek. What were they going to do? Have separate rooms because I couldn’t be with them?

“Jealous weird or something else?” Em asks.

“I guess jealous and insecure. Do you need me?”

Auggie squeezes me. “Did you miss the part where I said we don’t feel complete without you?”

“No, but be honest. Would you be happier without me tagging along? You must have had fun at the weekend, being free to do whatever you wanted without worrying about me.”