Page 74 of Lessons in Chemistry

“Thanks,” I whisper.

He hugs me tighter. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. I watch porn too.”

“I’m not going to watch it again. It was an experiment, one I don’t need to repeat. And while watching you two getting sexy wouldn’t be the same, it would still be weird to be there.”

“We’ll keep that side of our relationship between closed doors or at mine,” Auggie says.

“Thanks.”

“What would you feel comfortable doing with me?” Em asks.

“Snuggling? I like that a lot. I think when I started wanting to do that was probably when I fell in love with you. I didn’t realise that’s why I wanted to be so close to you. Why I always came to you when I was tired or sad.”

“But you know now.” Em kisses my temple.

“Yeah. I do.”

“What about kissing?”

“It was nice when you kissed me. It shocked the hell out of me, and I was already confused, which is why I bolted. But it was nice. It gave me tummy butterflies. Can I figure the rest out as we go along?”

“Of course. I need to find out what I like too.”

I look at Auggie. “It must be great to have figured all this stuff out already.”

“I’m still finding things out about myself, like how I’ve gone from wanting nothing more than one-night stands to wanting to explore a poly relationship. We’re all works in progress. I don’t think there’s anyone out there who has nothing new to learn about themselves.”

“That was almost poetic,” Em says.

“I’m a poet, and I didn’t know it?”

We all laugh, which is a welcome relief of tension. I hadn’t realised how stiff my body had become, but the laughter helps my muscles uncoil.

“Should we discuss how things are going in a fortnight?” Auggie asks.

“A fortnight sounds good,” Em says.

I nod.

Em squeezes me. “We can make this work. You’ll see.”

Bubbles explode in my chest. Maybe we can. I hope we can. For the first time since I saw Em and Auggie kissing, my thoughts are calm, and I’m feeling more at ease with myself. It’s going to take work, and we’ll need to focus on not getting jealous, but there’s a chance this could work, and I’m willing to give it my best shot.

16

AUGGIE

During our first lecture, I attempt to distract Emory by sitting beside him and doodling on his notepad—stick men, spirals, love hearts, that sort of thing—but he doesn’t bat an eyelid. He remains focused on the lecture and on taking notes. I guess that’s something he and Casey have in common. One of them is laser-focused on studying, and the other on swimming.

“I said I’d meet Casey,” Emory says as we walk out of the science building.

“Oh, that’s cool. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He catches hold of my hand. “Come with me.”

“I wouldn’t want to be a gooseberry.”

“Who says that? No one says that anymore.”