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EPILOGUE I

THREE WEEKS LATER

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LARS BACHMAN CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTED MURDER, CRIMINAL SABOTAGE, CRIMINAL INCITEMENT

Early this morning, Lars Bachman, the Formula 1 driver who came into the spotlight several weeks ago for taking actions against his teammate, was officially arraigned. Paragon Racing and Pack De Clare are pursuing independent cases against Bachman. Among the long list of charges are attempted murder, criminal sabotage, and criminal incitement. Bachman entered a plea of Not Guilty.

Due to the severity of the alleged charges, if Bachman is found guilty, he could spend upwards of forty years in prison, along with significant financial penalties. Other witnesses and participants have come forward to support the case, some choosing to testify in exchange for a lower sentence or probation, such as Joshua Gendra, a driver who alleges he hit Vanessa Lennon’s car under both physical and mental duress from Bachman.

Cases like this often take months, if not longer. We will keep you apprised of events as we learn of them.

I fucking loved my nest.

Rolling over, I stretched like a cat, groaning as my spine cracked with perfect deliciousness. A soft blanket draped over me, teasing my naked skin.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Grayson pulled me back across the cushions, arranging himself along my back, under the blanket with me. He slipped into me with shocking ease, just holding me still. Rocking so his piercing hit the spot that made the world sparkle.

A sleepy giggle came out of me. “Nowhere. Back to sleep.”

“That’s my perfect Omega.” His lips traveled over my neck and shoulder. “Sleep while you’re impaled on my cock.”

My whole body warmed. “Saying things like that isn’t going to help me go back to sleep.”

His laughter came through our bond, but he began to purr instead, the rich, steady sound dragging me back down beneath the surface. Full and safe.

When I came awake again Grayson was still inside me, my leg pulled back so I was open. He wasn’t the only one, because there was a mouth teasing my clit softly and slowly.

I moaned, reaching down into their hair, finding the short, soft strands and pulling. Elias’s laugh met me along with his arousal. “Pull harder, love. I can take it.”

“You like pain?”

“Pain can heighten the pleasure, little one. Didn’t you know?” Grayson asked, just as Elias bit my clit just hard enough to make me jump. The sensation melted into molten pleasure. So unguarded from sleep, I came, tipping over into shuddering gasps.

There was no pressure, time seeming to stretch and flow while they took their time and didn’t stop. Once Grayson was knotted deep inside me, I was out of breath and could probably take another nap.

Elias kissed me slowly, though his smiles made it harder. “Are you planning on leaving the nest today?”

“I’m considering it.”

“What can I say to tempt you?”

I wiggled my ass. “Considering I’m knotted in place, nothing at the moment.”

Grayson kissed my cheek, and his knot loosened. “Can’t use me as an excuse. I have to get on a plane later today.”

Rolling over, I looked at him. “What? Why?” I didn’t like the burst of alarm at the idea of him leaving.

He smoothed the hair back off my face and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be back tomorrow. You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”

“Where are you going?”

“To sign a contract. We need pictures.”

“Who?”

His eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. “Aran.”

“Really?” I grinned.

“Yes,” he said. “He outperformed his car this year. It wasn’t a hard sell to James.”

Aran would be a much better teammate, and not only because he wasn’t trying to kill me. “Well, I’ll miss you.”

“Me too. But don’t go saying goodbye to me now. I’m not leaving until later. But you might be.”

I groaned. “What now? I promise I’m not messing with the bandages.”

My arms and legs were healing nicely. The only bandages left were the ones that were on the worst burns. The healing skin itched like crazy, but I was being good.

“He means me,” Elias said. He’d pulled himself up behind me, so when I turned our faces were close. “I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t sure he’d be able to make it. But my brother is here. He wants to meet you.” Elias laughed to himself. “Here I thought he was being an ass too, not talking to me, when the man has literally been out of reach.”

“What?”

“Edward has his own way of escaping my family. He doesn’t loathe that life the way I do, but even he needs a break from them. He’s been away for months climbing mountains.” He shook his head, smiling. “That makes it sound simple. He’s wanted to climb the world’s tallest mountains forever, so he fits it in whenever he can. He knew about you, of course, but not about anything else. And my parents didn’t tell him. Why would they? Me cutting them off is embarrassing.”

“And he’s here?”

Elias nodded. “Well, he’s in the city. Thought he could come for dinner, or we could go to him. I promise you’ll actually like him, and the introduction will be nothing like the one with my parents.”

I understood why he needed to justify it, but Elias also knew I wanted to meet his brother. I wanted to meet anyone who loved him and was actually kind to him. “You choose,” I said. “I’m fine either way. But he’s your brother, so you decide where we’ll meet up.”

He smirked. “Let me think about it.”

My stomach growled. Loudly.

“Let me think about it while I get you food,” Elias said.

“I can get my own food,” I mumbled into his chest, hiding my flushed face. Everyone’s stomach made sounds. Still didn’t mean I liked it when it betrayed me and yelled at me in front of my pack.

“I’m going to get you food that isn’t pure sugar.”

“You’re a traitor too? You and my stomach are in this together.”

“Damn right, beautiful.” He kissed me before slipping out of the nest, leaving me with Gray.

My Alpha sat me up. “Do you need a shower or anything?”

“Probably. Why?”

“I want to give you something.”

His bond didn’t feel happy. Nor did it feel anxious or sad, just… steady. Sure. “What is it?”

“You’ll see. I’ll bring it to your room.”

I frowned, but knew Gray well enough now to know he wouldn’t budge even if I begged. Instead, I showered quickly so I could get to it faster.

Unsure where we were meeting Elias’s brother or what kind of clothes were needed, I dressed comfortably and found Grayson waiting for me.

“Why does this feel so serious?”

“Because it is.”

I spotted the small envelope in his hand. “What is that?”

He held it out, and I took it.

Vanessa

That handwriting was so familiar it punched me in the gut. Pain and fear prickled along my spine. “Grayson, what is this?”

“I’ll be honest, I’m not sure. I haven’t opened it.”

“But it’s?—”

He pulled me closer by my shoulders and kissed my forehead. “Yes. That night in the hotel, your grandfather gave me all those documents. Because he wanted to be prepared. Not because he knew what was coming. This was with them. He told me specifically not to give it to you right away.”

Anger flared. “You’ve had this the whole time?”

“Yes.” He didn’t lie. Nor did he shy away from the building anger he could feel through our bond. How could he watch me grieve and not give me this right then?

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what it says, and trust me, little one, I wanted to give it to you. He was so insistent that I didn’t. But I think now is a good time.”

I nodded, unsure what would come out of my mouth if I opened it. Hurt pulsed like a living thing, unclear who it was directed at.

“Would you like me to stay while you read it?”

Words caught in my throat. I wanted to throw him out in a rage. Be petty. But I also didn’t. He was just doing what Grandpa had asked. Finally, I shook my head. “I’m going to go outside. Thank you.”

“All right. If you need me, I’m here.”

“Okay.”

Grayson’s own aching hurt pulsed through the bond in my chest. He hadn’t wanted to keep it from me, and my pushing him away made him feel pain, though he understood it.

I went out to the overlook, sitting down on the grass and staring at the envelope with my grandfather’s handwriting on it. It was too cold to be out here now, but I didn’t care. I needed the cold.

“I swear to fuck, Grandpa, if I open this and there’s only one sentence written down, I will find you and haunt you even though I’m still alive.”

The ripping paper was loud in the surrounding silence. My breath caught?—

There was far more than a single sentence.

Vanessa,

If you’re reading this, then I’m already gone. In fact, it’s likely that I’ve been gone for some time. I don’t know when it’s going to happen, but I’m not taking the chance of leaving you without last words. I’ve been left without them too many times to do that to you.

Don’t be angry with Grayson. I told him you’d be too raw to read this. I asked him to wait. If you want to be angry with someone, be angry with me. I’m dead. I can take it.

I shook my head, trying not to laugh in spite of myself. Knowing his voice so well, I could practically hear it.

More than that, I hope that everything I say in this letter are things you already know. Because if you don’t, I haven’t done my job.

When your parents passed I wasn’t ready. You were so small, and I wasn’t prepared to have another baby. It felt like I was underwater. So I did the only thing I knew—took you to races.

Truly, I hadn’t planned on you racing. You chose that yourself. The first few times I tried to talk you out of it, but you were stubborn even when you were five. I didn’t stand a chance.

You were a natural. I knew right away that if this world didn’t crush you, you would climb to the top. There was nothing that could stop you. I’m so glad I was right.

Who knows how long I’ve been gone, but I hope by now you’ve had your first win. And I hope I was there to see it. If I wasn’t, know that I still did. There’s nothing that could stop that. It’ll take more than being a ghost to hold me back. (Do you think I could race even faster as a ghost? If so, I might be racing you and you’ll never know. No, I’m not going to take it easy.)

A laugh tumbled from me, and the first tears spilled over. I moved the paper to make sure none smudged the ink. After I finished, I was keeping this letter forever.

The reason I asked Grayson to wait is because I know you, Nessa. You have a soft heart hidden beneath your battle armor. You’ll be tangled up in your mind for a while, and that’s all right. But don’t hold me too close. Don’t grieve me too long.

Use me as an example. I grieved your grandmother and your parents longer than I should have. It doesn’t mean I loved them less, it just means I missed out on life. I missed pieces of you because I was too busy missing them. Do not let that happen. I will always be here in your memories, but I’ll be damned if I let you limit yourself because you miss me.

I already miss you too.

So start to let me go.

Your pack loves you, and they are good men. They’ll take care of you, and you’ll take care of them. If they don’t, I have no problem finding a way to reach back out from the grave for their inevitable pummeling into the dirt.

There’s too much to say, and I haven’t met a single person who doesn’t wish they’d said more while they could. So I am. And I understand that it won’t be enough. Not at first. Maybe never. That’s just living.

You won’t want to do this, but I want you to anyway.

Live your life without grief, even if it’s only because I asked you to. Eventually you’ll remember to do it for yourself. Eventually, the memories won’t hurt as much. Ask me how I know.

But no matter what, know that no one’s ever been as proud of you as I am. I have a lot of regrets in my life, but you were never one of them.

?

God, I hope I’ve done right by you.

Love you, Sticky. Forever.

Grandpa

I folded the letter and set it down beside me before crumpling in on myself and letting the tears come.

He was right, and I hated that he was right. That letter would have destroyed me if I’d had it right after he died. I would have been so out of my mind that I wouldn’t have been able to hear or absorb the words he’d given me.

Fuck, it hurt.

I’m sorry . I pushed the feelings toward Grayson and felt immediate calm and comfort in response. He understood, even if I couldn’t bear to be near him or anyone else at the moment. This feeling was too deep and too sharp and I needed to let it pass over me like rain before I did as he asked.

Grandpa knew better than anyone that grief didn’t just disappear. It shifted and merged and became a part of you. A sliver that could turn into a splinter at a moment’s notice. You could never get rid of the pain. But you also didn’t have to keep it at your center. That was what he meant.

I sobbed into my hands, letting every wracking wave shatter me in a way I hadn’t since the day he died. Not even at his funeral. I cried until I felt empty. Not forcing myself to turn it off or push it down. Just feeling it.

When the flow stopped, I felt clear. Lighter than I thought I would. Better. Slipping the letter back into its envelope, I went back inside and put the letter in my room, where I knew it was safe, before I sought out my pack.

They were in the kitchen.

River was on me before I’d fully stepped into the room, pulling me into his arms and wrapping me up so thoroughly I could barely breathe. It was exactly what I needed. I closed my eyes and buried my face in his neck, inhaling the cool sharpness of mint and the sweet softening of chocolate.

Lars had appeared in court with two black eyes last week, limping. It looked like his nose was broken too, but I wasn’t sure. He was mysteriously silent on how it happened. Since, then River had made fingerless gloves part of his style when we were anywhere public, and none of us minded. None of us scolded him for how it delayed his healing either. His hands were still a little busted up.

I didn’t know how or when he’d made it happen, and I wasn’t going to ask. But every time I saw River’s healing hands, I smiled.

With our faces mirrored, his mouth brushed his bite, making me shiver. He wasn’t trying to arouse me. This was grounding and comfort. A reminder that he was my Alpha and he had me, no matter what. “You okay?”

“I will be.”

He held me a moment more before turning me to face the others. The scent of limes and sugar curled around me before I saw him. “I’m sorry, little one.”

“Don’t be.” I laughed once, the tears rising again, but I blinked them back. “He said very specifically not to be mad at you.”

He held me gently. “I’m still sorry.”

“Thank you.”

In my chest, incense tugged on our bond. Beck sat on the long bench seat that ran along one wall, his laptop on the table. He pulled me over his lap as soon as I reached him, setting me on this other side and arranging my legs over his so I was comfortable.

I felt the smooth, tumbling shift of his emotions. He wasn’t going to ask me if I was okay. They all knew I wasn’t. But he would be here the second I needed him. His Alpha wanted me close, and my Omega loved that. I hummed as I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“Here.” Elias set a plate down in front of me. Fruit, cheese, and toast crowded the dish, and my mouth watered. “Eat, please.”

“Why? You think I’m hangry?” My stomach, like the traitorous bitch she was, immediately growled. I closed my eyes, so fucking mad and also about to laugh.

River’s laugh snuck through the hand over his mouth, and then we were all laughing. Beck tugged me in to kiss my cheek. “Eat the food, hungry Omega.”

“Fine.” I bit into a piece of pear. “Are we staying or going into the city?”

Elias smirked. “Thought we’d get dressed up and show you off.”

“Fine by me.” I had a dress they hadn’t seen. Pity Gray would have to miss it. “How long until you have to leave?” I asked him.

Grayson slid his hands into the pocket of his slacks, smirking. “What do you mean?”

“Aren’t you going to Britannia?”

“I am. But that’s the beauty of having your own jet. You can leave whenever you want. Which is why I can delay leaving a little while, go to dinner, and still be there in plenty of time.” My eyes went wide and he smiled. “So whatever you’re planning without me, think again.”

I popped a grape in my mouth. “I’m not planning anything.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Cause you’re smart,” River whispered.

Glaring at him, I ate another grape. “Just a dress you haven’t seen. Now you don’t have to miss it.”

Gray tilted his head, smiling in that way he had. “I don’t want to miss it, but you’ll have to save that one for next time.”

“Why?”

“Check your closet.”

“ Why ?”

Beck lifted me back across him and set me on my feet. Grayson tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Because I might have had to wait to give you that letter, but I wasn’t going to be unprepared when I did. And no, no gift will ever make up for the loss, but I still wanted to. So go look. You can wear it tonight.”

They all looked at me, seeing what I would do. I wanted to play it cool, but I was incapable of doing that. Turning, I snagged a piece of cheese off the plate before running for my room with their laughter following me.

The tension had lifted, and I knew Grandpa was right. They loved me, and I loved them, and we would always take care of each other.