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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

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LOVE BLOOMING IN FORMULA 1?

It’s common knowledge that Vanessa Lennon and John Lockwood used to date. They haven’t been together in years, but watching their playful interactions in recent weeks has us wondering if something could be rekindling? Would a romance on the racing track be good for them? Or would it be a distraction that could destroy them both? Time will tell. But I, for one, will say that if John Lockwood came knocking at my door, I wouldn’t hesitate to say HELL YES!

River pulled me in front of him, his body lined up with mine and curling around me to help me with the bow. Now, having shot it once, I didn’t really need the help, but I wasn’t going to say no to them touching me. Especially like this.

His hands covered mine, guiding us to aim at the bullseye together. It was another moment where I felt the duality I had with them. I didn’t need River to help me, but I wanted his help. I liked being able to relax into his strength and release some of mine. I liked working together and having fun.

He kissed my hair. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

River squeezed my hand once and loosened his hold so I could release the string. This time the arrow flew so much straighter, and though it didn’t hit the center, it was much closer. “I better get a bullseye before we’re done here.”

“Of that, I have no doubt.”

As he presented the cards to me again, Elias did a little bow. His constant playfulness was a reminder that I could be too, and I knew it had to do with what I’d told him. I didn’t mind it.

But when I read the card, my stomach sank. Beck looked me up and down. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat. “What’s your biggest fear?”

The silence that followed told me they understood why I’d hesitated. It wasn’t an easy question. In fact, it was a very vulnerable question. And there were a bunch of different answers. Like… existential fears? Or bugs? Those were very different, but they were still real.

River sighed behind me, and when I turned, his hand was curled around the back of his neck and he looked at the floor. “Fucking up my legacy,” he said softly. “I know I’m good, and I’ll fight for every win I get. But I’m always afraid I’ll do something to make people think I don’t deserve it. Or make some kind of mistake I can’t come back from, even if it’s accidental.”

I swallowed. That made sense. The whole point of this exercise was to get to know each other better, but I already knew River well enough to know that he was good and kind. I couldn’t imagine him doing the kind of thing that would entangle him in an irreversible PR nightmare, but I understood the fear.

Still, I didn’t like the look on his face. “Got something to tell me? Some big secret you’re hiding?” I raised an eyebrow and leaned close like I was investigating him, making sure he knew this was teasing.

It worked. He smiled and shook his head. “My only secret is you.”

“Good.”

“It’s an interesting question,” Beck said as he slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Because I feel like I’ve overcome it now, but in a way, it still lingers.”

“What was it?”

He shrugged. “I was always afraid of getting stuck where I grew up and never leaving. I’ve done that, but I still have those moments where I remember the feeling and don’t want to get stuck in anything against my will. So I overcame it, but it’s still there.”

Grayson cleared his throat. “Before we met you or after we met you?”

“Wouldn’t it be the same?”

River took the bow as Grayson shook his head and came to me, steps steady. “No. Because before I met you I would have said that my biggest fear was similar to River’s. Only maybe on a different scale. For our pack, or the team at large. Failure . In that big, vast way that it’s hard to talk about. But now?” He lifted one hand to cup my face. “Now it’s something happening to you.”

My lips parted in shock, but there was nothing on his face that said he was joking. “Really?”

“Yes.”

I swallowed. “Wow.”

Grayson leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead. “Don’t forget how real this is,” he whispered. “You are ours and we are yours.”

I couldn’t speak. There wasn’t any way with emotion stuck in my throat like this.

“Mine is spiders,” Elias said, clapping his hands together. “Can’t stand the fuckers.”

When I looked at him, he grinned, but I saw the truth too. “That’s one kind of fear. What’s the other?”

“It’s a real fear.”

“It is. I hate them too. But I know there’s more. I can see it.”

Elias glanced away. “Our Omega is a mind reader.”

I slid my arms around his waist. “Not a mind reader. But it’s in your eyes.”

That softened him. Elias closed his eyes and pain crossed his face. He cleared his throat before he spoke in a rough whisper. “Not being enough. For you. For my family. Anyone.”

His throat bobbed, but I hugged him tighter, still staring up at him. “Thank you for telling me.”

“What’s yours, little one?”

My breath caught in my chest. Fuck, speaking these things out loud wasn’t easy. But they’d all done it too. Elias’s face blurred along with the rest of the world as tears stung my eyes. “Being alone.” A choked whisper. “Ending up with no one.”

It wasn’t something you talked about, but when your parents died so young, it was always in the background. Always.

Behind me I heard the twang of string and the thwack! of an arrow hitting the target. Behind my back where Elias held the cards, I felt River pluck one. “Thank fuck,” he said with a laugh. “This is an easier question. What is your favorite way to exercise? And for that, I will unapologetically say sex. But if those answers still aren’t on the table, boxing.”

We all allowed him to lift the mood, but I was grateful we could talk about the darker, sadder things. But tonight wasn’t the time to wallow in them. “Does that mean I get to knock you out some time?”

“Baby, you knock me out just by being alive.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “I like rowing.”

“Running for me,” Beck said. “And I think I can speak for Elias when I say that he doesn’t have a favorite workout. His favorite workout is sitting on his ass.”

“Guilty as charged.” Elias released me and held up his hands before lifting his shirt to show off the flatness of his stomach and the hint of muscles there. “ But that doesn’t mean I don’t do it.”

“Weights,” Grayson said.

It was Elias’s turn to help me shoot. Which he did. But not before making sure my form was perfect. That meant him adjusting my body and touching every part of me he could. We barely made it on the target.

Barely .

The arrow sagged like it wanted to fall out, but I still grabbed a card. And another. Learning things like favorite plants and flowers, favorite holidays, favorite subjects in school, pet peeves, and more. It was exactly what I wanted.

There were far too many questions to get through that whole deck of cards, but that meant there was more for later.

“This question isn’t in the deck,” Beck said, nocking his arrow and releasing. “But it’s important. How do you take your tea?”

“Oh god.” I laughed. “Is this a trick question? Am I going to bring the wrath of the Britannians if I get it wrong?”

River crossed his arms and his tone dripped with sarcasm. “As long as you don’t heat the water up in the microwave, you’ll be fine. Believe me. I only had to make that mistake once.”

“Because it doesn’t taste the same and you fucking know it .” Elias pushed his finger straight into River’s chest. “You know it, and everyone from the Americ Union does it just to rile us all up. I’m onto your games.”

The way River smiled told us all he knew exactly what he was doing. Elias wasn’t mad. He was exasperated. I decided to play along. “It tastes different?”

My Beta’s eyes went wide. He turned to me. “Vanessa. Beautiful. Tell me it’s not true.”

“Tell me what isn’t true?”

“Tell me you don’t microwave water for tea. I don’t think I’ll survive it.” He clutched both hands to his heart, eyes pleading.

I couldn’t hold on to my straight face, collapsing into laughter and reaching up to pull his face down to mine. “I’ve been living in Britannia for years, Elias. What do you think?”

“Thank fuck,” he muttered. “I would have had to set up a time for proper tea education.”

“You would not.” I smacked his arm.

“I think you underestimate how seriously we take tea.”

Looking over at Beck, I found him with a hand over his mouth, holding in laughter. “I like cream and honey,” I told him. “I’m not a fan of green tea, or most herbal tisanes. But I love black, white, and red teas.”

Grayson stretched, and even in the t-shirt he wore, I savored the sight. It didn’t hide what was beneath it. At all . “We’ll convince you on coffee eventually.”

I snorted. “I doubt it.”

“We’re about out of time,” Beck said, checking his watch. “They’ll kick us out soon.”

“One more shot.” I took the bow from him. “This one just me.”

Lining up the arrow on my own felt different. I loved doing it with them, but I liked this too. It reminded me of the sensation before starting a race—staring down the starting lights so you didn’t miss a thing. All the energy gathered and ready to strike.

One breath in, one breath out. I released the string and smiled.

Dead fucking center.