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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

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macho_formula1: Honestly, I expected better. P-6 in a car that can score in the top three? Paragon’s going to regret this decision if that’s all she can manage.

pr3lude2ak1ss: Ah, so you’re one of those people. Let’s put you in a Formula 1 car and see where you place, then come back and run your mouth. It’s the first race. Are you fucking joking?

macho_formula1: I’m just saying, it’s already a risk to hire someone who has lower reflexes to begin with. And if she doesn’t do better than P-6, it clearly won’t be worth it.

Insomnia_fueled_nerd: Oh, okay. So just because she’s a woman she automatically has worse reflexes. Got it. Do everyone a favor and shut the hell up. It’s embarrassing.

macho_formula1: Johnny Lockwood, is that you? You’re simping enough to be him.

Insomnia_fueled_nerd: For fuck’s sake. I’m a woman.

macho_formula1: Should have known. You’re only supporting her because she’s a woman when you know nothing about this fucking sport.

ADMIN: If you can’t keep it civil, don’t comment at all.

* Admin has turned off comments on this post*

I shouldn’t be here, but I was. The paddock was mostly empty. The few people who were here might raise an eyebrow if they saw me in this kind of dress, but I could just say I forgot something.

There were only a few minutes before I needed to get in the car and go to the sponsor event, but there was a certain Alpha I hadn’t seen all day. I heard him earlier during the free practices, but nothing more.

Beck sat at a station in the engineering suite, staring at the screen. The lights were dim so his form was painted with the bright lights in front of him. As I watched through the door, he ran a hand through his hair. It was already long, but it had grown out more in the last couple of weeks.

I sighed. The fact that we’d matched right before the season was brutal. The schedule wasn’t for the weak, and none of us had the time we wanted with each other between our roles in the team, River and I working out and training, the travel, and any sponsor obligations. I loved when we were together in the suites and tumbling into each other until we all found pleasure, but I wanted more than that.

Right now, I wanted my Alpha to see me in a pretty dress even if he couldn’t do anything about it.

He didn’t look up as I slipped inside, so absorbed by whatever data he saw on the screen. In fact, he didn’t sense me until I was close enough that my scent could wrap around him. “Beck?”

Startling, he looked at me. Then he looked at me. The dress I wore was paragon purple with sparkling crystals in an ombre pattern that nodded to the racing team’s logo. LORE, our new sponsor, had made it for me just for this, since they were headquartered here in Bahre?n. The dress wrapped and rouched around my body and artfully slipped off my shoulders.

“Holy fuck, Vanessa,” he murmured.

I sat in the rolling chair next to him and scooted closer. “I hadn’t seen you, so I wanted to before I go.”

Beck looked around at the empty room and through the glass doors into the other rooms to make sure we were alone before he pulled me in to kiss me. Softly, like he didn’t want to ruin my lipstick.

I couldn’t have cared less about that.

“You look incredible.”

“Thank you.”

“Grayson’s going to meet you there?”

Nodding, I hated that he pulled away. Beck saw it. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed. “Just wish we had time.”

Beneath the table, where it couldn’t be seen if someone were to come in, he wove our fingers together. “For what?”

“Anything,” I whispered. “Don’t get me wrong, I love sex, and I’m not complaining. I just want time with you guys. I still feel like I don’t know anything about you.”

He laughed softly. “We’re not going anywhere, Nes. Getting to know each other slowly isn’t a bad thing.”

“I know. It’s just…”

Beck squeezed my hand. “We let it fall off the last few weeks because of everything, but I’ll talk to them. We’ll bring back date night.”

“Date night?”

“We’re a newer pack. And it wasn’t like some packs who’ve known each other since childhood before their bond appeared. We were strangers. So we try to make time one night every week that’s just for us. A lot of weeks it’s poker, but it’s helped. Even if we don’t learn something new about each other, it’s still time together.”

That sounded perfect. “I would love that.”

He lifted our hands and kissed the back of mine. “We’ll make it happen.”

“Maybe not poker,” I said.

Grinning, he winked. “I can’t promise it will never be poker, because we love it and I want to see if my Omega can bluff, but not this week.”

“Done.” I glanced at the screens. “What are you doing?”

“Just comparing data from the first race with today’s practice. Looking at the differences between your car and Lars’s to see if there’s anywhere we can improve the set-up. Making sure everything is perfect for qualifying tomorrow.” He looked at me, face teasing. “So don’t stay up too late.”

“Don’t worry, I have no plans to.”

I hesitated, and he kissed the back of my hand again. “What’s going on in there, love?”

“Can I sleep in your bed?”

His smile was brighter than the darkness in the room. “You never need to ask me that, Nessa. You’re always welcome wherever I’m sleeping.”

For whatever reason, I hadn’t ended up sleeping next to Beck much. But I wanted to. I wanted all of them in ways I couldn’t fully verbalize. There was a small part of me that wanted the whole season to be over purely so we could have a couple of months of uninterrupted time to do whatever we liked whenever we liked.

“Okay.”

I needed to go, but I couldn’t make myself get up and walk away, because I missed him even though he was right next to me. Beck somehow noticed, which wasn’t surprising. He missed nothing.

“You know how Elias comes from the upper crust? How his family, who are a pain in the ass, hates that he does this?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m the opposite,” he said. “I’m from éire.”

I figured from his accent. Right across the water from Britannia. Somehow I’d never been, but I wanted to go. Now I had even more of a reason.

“My da’ is a mechanic, and that’s where I started, but being the rebellious terror I was when I was younger, I wanted to get the hell out. But I still loved cars. So I worked my arse off to study engineering so I could do this.” He grinned. “I didn’t think I’d be a race engineer. More like I thought I’d be the one designing the engine. But I’m glad fate had other plans.”

Taking a risk, I leaned my head on his shoulder, careful not to mess up my hair. “I’m glad you’re the one in my ear.”

“It’s not distracting?”

He’d asked me that when he first told me he’d been assigned to me after the other race engineer resigned in protest. My answer was the same. “It calms me down,” I said. “Not that I’m anxious, but I know you’re never going to lie to me or sugarcoat things, even if the team decides they can’t go my way.”

“You’re right. I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

“The real question is, can I tease you with my voice when we’re not on the race track and still have you not be distracted?”

I sat up again and looked at him. “What do you mean?”

“Remember the first night we had sex? All of us?”

Rolling my eyes, I smiled. “As if there was a chance I could forget that.”

Beck wasn’t smiling. No, the look on his face was somewhere between a smoldering inferno and pure lust. “I spoke to you. Commanded you. Asked you questions.”

“And you want to do that again?”

One tug on my hand had me almost tilting off the chair into him. I needed to pull back, but getting caught seemed like it would be worth it at the moment. “More than anything,” he whispered, brushing his lips across my ear. “Because I wonder if I could get you off with only my voice. Or what would happen if the only thing you could do was listen to me talk to you and feel what I’m doing to you. Not see or taste, just listening and feeling.”

I shuddered. No seeing or tasting meant a blindfold and?—

Beck’s low laugh made chills rise on my skin as perfume exploded around us. “But once we do that, I want to make sure that you can still focus during the races. Because like hell am I going to sabotage you, even if it brings us both pleasure.”

“I’ll be able to tell the difference.” My voice came out soft and breathy.

“Are you sure, love?”

“Yes.”

“We’ll have to try it then.”

I blew out a breath. “I thought— never mind.” He pinned me with a stare and I flushed. “I didn’t think that would be your preference.”

“What did you think it would be? Because I have a lot of interests.”

My phone chimed. It was Oliver, asking why I wasn’t where the car was meant to pick me up. I stood. “You’ll have to guess later.”

Beck growled as he stood with me. “You sure?”

I smirked. “I’m sure that you’ll get it out of me… eventually.”

“You’re right. I will.” He didn’t bother to check this time as he leaned in and kissed me. “Someday soon you’ll be on my arm while you look like this.”

“I hope so.”

He squeezed my hips. “Go, before I can’t let you.”

I texted Oliver, asking to redirect my ride slightly and pick me up closer to the paddock. These shoes were far too tall for me to walk all the way back to the hotel. I didn’t even want to wear them now.

Beck’s gaze was a touch I could feel until I was out of his sight. The lights of the city and the high rises twinkled as we drove. Bahre?n was beautiful. But traveling now felt different. All I wanted was to explore these places with them .

Determination hardened down my spine. We needed a plan. I couldn’t just exist pretending there was nothing between us for very long. It seemed easy when we said we could, and all of those reasons were valid. But this was so much harder than I’d thought, and I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt it.

Grayson

I’ll meet you when you’re here. The press wants pictures.

Vanessa

Let’s try to at least get a couple without Lars.

I’m almost there.

There wasn’t a lot of press outside the event, thankfully. They would all be inside. Security still swept me inside quickly, and my jaw dropped.

This party was…

Holy shit.

The chandelier above the main space was so large and complex, I couldn’t stop staring at it. The amount of crystals threw rainbows everywhere, and that was just the first thing that caught my gaze.

“Vanessa.” Gray was there in a tux. My breath went short. I needed him dressed like this all the time. The thought of all four of them dressed like this was enough to make me faint while putting out all the perfume my body was capable of.

Gray shook my hand, gripping hard enough for me to know how much he held back. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you. I definitely need pictures of you without Lars.”

Smirking, Gray tucked my hand through his arm like a proper gentleman—a movement that would draw no attention. “Lars isn’t here.”

“What?”

“He wasn’t invited after he made it clear that LORE wasn’t up to his standard as a sponsor. The people at LORE don’t care because they’re sponsoring the team because of you. But he won’t be at any events. They’re allowed to ask him to do campaigns contractually, but honestly, I don’t think either party is interested.”

I blew out a breath. “I knew he was an ass, but I didn’t think he’d snub a sponsor.”

“It was… as polite a snub as he could give.”

I laughed and caught a burst of his scent that had my mouth watering. It took everything I had to swallow the whine begging to come out of me. “Gray?”

“Yes, little one?” Those words were softer. He retrieved glasses of champagne for us from a nearby tray.

“Do we have a plan? Because I can’t do this the whole season. All I want is to be with you. Be able to explore the cities with you. Go home with you. Hug you before a race. Not have to pretend that you’re nothing more to me than a boss.” My shoulders wilted a little. “It’s exhausting.”

“We don’t have one,” he said gently, “ yet . But I agree with you. I have no plans to drag the secret out the whole season. As soon as we can announce it without damaging your career, we will.”

The fact that it would damage my career at all was ridiculous. Gray read that on my face and laughed. “I know. Ready to mingle?”

I was in no way ready to mingle. “As long as you take me home after.”

“That can be arranged.”

Lowering my voice as he pulled me through the crowd, I smiled at the people who were looking at us. “I saw Beck. He said we could bring back date night? So we can all spend some time together.”

Just like that first moment we met, Grayson’s purr undercut the rest of the noise in the room. “We absolutely can. What would you like to do?”

Some of the representatives from LORE were coming our way, so I spoke fast. “I don’t want to choose, but I also don’t want to just watch a movie. Or play poker.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Then he turned me to the people we were about to meet.

We took about a million and one pictures, including some of just the two of us. Tension sang in Gray’s hands when he slipped it around my waist, both of our instincts wanting to be so much closer that we could be in pictures. Because these would be looked at when everything came out. People would pick apart the photos to see if they could tell we were together beforehand.

But the evening went on, full of smiling till my cheeks hurt and pretending I knew the people being introduced to me. Most of them were so sweet and so genuine that it felt far easier to mingle than I’d imagined.

Still, when Gray put me back in the car—alone, much to both our frustration—I was tired. I knew just how grueling the Formula 1 schedule was, having been around this my whole life, but it was different when you were in the center of it. As a reserve driver, it wasn’t this intense. Formula 2 wasn’t this intense either.

I didn’t stay in my hotel suite, not even undressing. I immediately went into theirs and found Beck’s room. He was already there and in bed. Asleep, but stirring when I entered. In the dim light, I saw his sleepy smile. “Welcome back, love.”

A shower would probably be good, but now that I was out of the spotlight and here, I was fading fast. I let the dress slink down onto the floor and ditched the strapless bra that went with it before climbing into the bed in nothing but my underwear.

Beck lifted the blankets over me before pulling me to him, kissing my cheek. “Everything all right?”

“Mmhmm.” I closed my eyes and breathed him in. “Just tired. But Grayson is good for date night.”

“Good. And I have the perfect idea for it. Just have to find a place.”

“What is it?”

Another kiss, this time on my temple. “You’ll see. Just sleep.”

I did.