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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

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Holly Buchanan: I’m Holly Buchanan, and I’m here at pre-season testing with the woman everyone is talking about, Vanessa Lennon! Vanessa, it’s good to see you again.

Vanessa Lennon: You too.

Holly: You looked good out there. How did the car feel?

Vanessa: It felt really good. There were a couple little bumps, but that’s what testing is for. The team is already working on changes for tomorrow, and I have every confidence that we’ll have an absolutely incredible car going into Australis.

Holly: You were the second Paragon driver to test today, and your teammate had a bit of a problem that red-flagged his session. Do you have a reaction to that?

Vanessa: Like I said, that’s what testing is for. So many things can happen that are unexpected and take you by surprise. All I can say is that everyone at Paragon Racing is working hard to make sure we’re competitive and that we keep our place in the Constructors Championship, or even move up a spot to first.

Holly: A very diplomatic answer. Thank you for stopping to chat, and I’m sure we’ll see each other again before testing is over.

Vanessa: Thank you.

Energy and adrenaline buzzed under my skin. The car felt amazing. Not perfect, but amazing. Plus, I hadn’t had any mishaps today, so I didn’t have to deal with any online bullshit. Lars had spun out after turn three and fucked up one of his front wings.

Not that I was keeping score or anything.

Who was I kidding? I was totally keeping score.

My phone rang, my grandfather’s name on the screen. “Are you calling to tell me what a badass I am?”

He huffed a laugh, though it sounded weaker than I would have liked. “Something like that. More like I’m calling because you’ve barely talked to me since the announcement and I want details. How does the car feel?”

“It feels good.” I peeled the top half of my racing suit down so I was cooler in the garments I wore beneath. “A little wobbly in the chicanes, but they’re going to tighten it up for tomorrow.”

“It looked pretty good. But you were holding back.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s the first day of pre-season testing, Grandpa. The last thing I need to do is crash the car on the first day. I’m just getting my feet under myself.”

“Well, get them under you. Don’t make a habit of driving too safe.”

“Gee, Vanessa, congratulations on making it through your first day of testing without looking like an incompetent rookie. I’m so proud of you.” I let my voice drip with sarcasm.

“I wasn’t aware you needed me to coddle you.”

Grabbing a bottle of water from the small fridge in the room, I collapsed onto the couch and stared at the ceiling. “You’re in a mood today. Why?”

“I’m always in a mood.”

I narrowed my eyes and hit the button to switch it to a video call. A few seconds later, my grandfather’s face appeared. He looked like an older version of my dad. Or what my dad would have looked like had he still been alive. Salt and pepper hair, handsome face, and the more recent addition of a nasal cannula. He was pale, but didn’t like me to baby him. I’d talk to the nursing staff later and get the real information. He looked more drawn than I liked to see.

“I’m alive, satisfied?”

“Not until you tell me why you’re being a grump.”

Grandpa sighed. I hated that he looked so old. It was the cancer that was eating away at him. In my memories, he was a giant. Full of life and vigor. It hurt to see him like this, but there wasn’t much more we could do. At least he was kicking cancer’s ass.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m trying not to tell you.”

Grinning, I gave him the face I knew he both hated and loved, full of sass. “I am very aware of that.”

“I just don’t like the way some of them talk about you,” he said.

“That’s not exactly new.” People had been talking about me my whole career. Grandpa knew because he’d been there the whole time. I’d always had to work twice as hard to be considered equal.

He made a face. “I know. But it’s a lot louder now. There were twenty drivers at testing today and I feel like they only talked about five of them. Mainly you.”

I kept myself from laughing. “I’m sure they’ll calm down once they see I’m not going to spontaneously combust.”

“Don’t bet on it,” he grumbled.

Nerves jangled in my gut. The only time I’d ever had a secret from my grandfather was in the time leading up to the announcement, and now. The guys didn’t have a problem with me telling him, but I hadn’t found the right time. With everything, it was hard to believe it had only been a few days. “I’m glad you called, actually. I have something to tell you.”

“I’m not sure anything can top your last surprise. But I hope it’s good news.”

“Yeah, it is.” I felt myself flush. “So, umm, it turns out that Grayson de Clare and his pack are my scent matches. That includes River Daniels. The other members of his pack are one of the Paragon mechanics, and a race engineer. Their names are Elias and Beck.”

Grandpa stared at me for a second before he barked a laugh. “Well, I’ll be damned. How long have you known?”

“I found out at the announcement. Not exactly the way I thought it would go, obviously. And we’re not telling anyone yet. Annika knows, and the team owners. We just told them this morning. But we’re keeping it under wraps for now, because of what you’re annoyed about.”

“Makes sense.” He looked at me hard. “Are they treating you right?”

“Yes.”

“They’d better be. You tell them cancer or no cancer, if they hurt my granddaughter I will pummel them into the dirt.” He looked entirely serious.

I smiled so wide it hurt. “I’ll tell them, but you have nothing to worry about there. They’re great. And I think you’ll really like them.”

“I’ll have to meet them.”

“I would love that. Are you coming to the race?” One race on the calendar was close enough for him to travel to. It was still hard and took its toll, but no amount of me telling him no would stop him.

“If I’m not dead by then, I’ll be there.”

“Please don’t joke about that.”

He grunted as there was a knock on the door which connected my suite to theirs. “Not a joke if it’s true.”

I opened the door and found Elias standing there, smiling. “Putting aside the gallows humor, did you want to meet one of them right now?”

“Put the fucker on.”

My glare was softened by the fact that Elias burst into laughter and it was hard to stifle my own. “Be nice.”

I handed the phone to Elias. He waved and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Lennon. I’m a big fan, actually.”

“Are you now? We’ll see how big a fan you are after?—”

“ Grandpa .”

Elias smirked at me but got his face under control. “In all seriousness, sir, my pack and I would never hurt Vanessa. I don’t think any of us have ever been happier. Finding out that we have a match and that it’s someone as amazing as she is has been incredible.”

I flushed. The suit and flame resistant undergarments were suddenly far too hot. And there was nothing I could do about that until my grandfather was off the phone, because like hell was I leaving them alone. Elias was too charming and Grandpa had far too much information.

“Well, you’re smart in that, at least. Which one are you?”

“I’m Elias Coleville. I work as a mechanic and I’m on the pit crew. More importantly, I’m specifically on Vanessa’s side of the garage. Believe me when I say I have every motivation to make sure her car is perfect.”

“Glad to hear it. You’re Britannian?”

“Much to my own dismay.”

Grandpa laughed. A hard laugh that ended with him coughing. Elias looked at me quickly, covering the concern there. I slid into frame beside him. “Do I need to call the nurse?”

“No,” he growled. “I see enough of Nurse Ratched as it is.”

“Her last name is Watts.”

“I said what I said.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know I’ll call her anyway because she actually tells me the truth about how you’re doing.”

“Remind me to report her for tattling.”

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed in exasperation. Elias chuckled softly and tucked me into his side before he kissed my cheek. Everything was quiet. I looked up to find my grandfather staring at the phone. “What?”

He blinked and for a second he looked emotional before he shook his head again. “You’re right.”

“About what?” I frowned. About him lying to me about his health? If he was admitting that to me, something must really be wrong. Panic began to climb up my throat when he spoke again.

“If they all look at you the way he just did, you’re in good hands.” I froze, looking at him. He cleared his throat. “He looks at you the way I looked at your grandmother.”

My eyes began to sting. Grandpa rarely talked about her because even after all this time, it hurt him. She’d died when my dad was born, but he’d never found anyone else, because she was it for him. So for him to say that meant more than Elias could know.

“Thanks, Grandpa.”

His eyes shifted to Elias. “You take care of her.”

“I will.”

“Time to go annoy Ratched. She’s been quiet for too long.”

A giggle burst out of me in spite of the emotion. “Be nice to her. She has to put up with you.”

“Depends on what she brings me for lunch. Love you, kiddo.”

“Love you.”

He ended the call, and we stood there in silence for a second. I leaned into Elias. “So that’s my grandfather.”

“Somehow exactly like I imagined and not at all.”

“Before you knocked he told me to tell you ‘cancer or no cancer, if you hurt my granddaughter I will pummel them into the dirt.’” I added quotation marks with my fingers.

He laughed and turned me to him so he could pull me in completely. “If we hurt you, I’d let him do it.”

I whined softly. “You’re back early.”

“That’s because you didn’t fuck up the car. Lars’s mechanics are still messing with some of the shit that got fucked up in his little… incident.”

“Was it more than the front wing?”

“Seems to be.” Then he held me out at arm’s length. “Want to walk the track?”

I frowned. “Why?”

Walking the track was prep for a race, but this wasn’t one. And walking the track was done with the race engineer, Beck. I’d barely absorbed the fact that Beck was going to be my race engineer. I was over the moon about it.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s cold?”

He smiled and took my hand. “It’s a bit warmer now. And all the more reason to put on some of that Paragon swag.”

“What aren’t you telling me? And won’t people ask questions if I’m walking the track with you?”

Elias strode to the bedroom, pulling me behind him, and found my suitcase. “No one’s on the track now. The mechanics are all busy fixing the shite you drivers broke, and if anyone asks, I’m walking you through the specifics of something for the car on whatever turn we’re on. But I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

He dug through my clothes, finding a brand new Paragon sweatshirt and a pair of leggings. “Here.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re being sneaky. I don’t know how, but you are.”

“Guess you’ll just have to find out.”

“Fine. Let me get dressed.”

Elias sat on the bed and leaned back, looking me up and down. “No arguments from me.”

There was no reason to be embarrassed, but somehow I was still shy despite having Elias’s tongue between my legs two days ago. But he didn’t tease me about it as I changed my clothes. Simply watched me with an intensity that made me question why we were going out in public. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and threaded it through a Paragon hat. “All right. Ready.”

“I’ll meet you at the paddock, all right?”

I blinked. “Right.” We couldn’t walk down there together or even come out of our rooms at the same time. For the second time today, I realized how difficult it would be to actually keep this quiet.

“Don’t take too long, beautiful.”

Elias slipped out of my room and back into their suite. I scrolled on my phone, blankly watching notifications and commentary about my performance for five minutes before I went downstairs, just remembering my badge.

Elias waited outside the garage in the paddock, nodding to me like this was a planned business meeting and nothing more. He also had a backpack on, which he hadn’t before. But he was right. It was warmer now. Warm enough to be comfortable. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

I shoved my hands in the pocket of my hoodie to keep myself from reaching for his hand, and he did the same. It felt wrong to not be touching him. “The owners took it well, if they didn’t tell you.”

“That’s good. So Gray’s not fired?”

“Not yet.” I laughed. We walked down the track toward turn one. “Are you going to tell me why we’re here yet?”

“Nope. Other than the fact that you should know that I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie.”

I snorted. “You and everyone else in Formula 1.”

You had to love the sensation of adrenaline to drive these cars. For most people, driving so fast would be terrifying. For me? It felt like flying. The most exhilarating feeling in the entire universe.

“Elias—”

“Hold on,” he said with a laugh. “I promise I won’t keep you in the dark for long.”

Speaking of the dark, the sun was setting. It was getting dark. If he actually wanted to do a full circuit it would be long dark before we finished.

“How long has your grandmother been gone?” He asked as we walked. “He seemed really sad.”

“She died when my dad was born.”

“Shit,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

I winced. “He’s been through a lot. My parents… they died when I was four. My dad wasn’t an adrenaline junkie, but he was adventurous. They went on a sailboating trip for their anniversary. They were going to cross the Atlantic. But they never came back. Eventually, they found the pieces of the boat. So I’ve been with Grandpa ever since. I grew up with racing, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

The silence around us felt deafening. I hadn’t meant for all of that to come pouring out. “Sorry, that was a lot.”

This far away from the paddock, Elias took the risk, reaching out and touch me. “No, it’s not. We want to know everything, Nes, no matter if it’s painful. You already know a little about my family, and I’m sure you’ll learn all of it at some point. We’ve all got our shit, and it’s no hardship to hear yours. I’m sorry about your parents, but I’m grateful you had someone like Vance in your life.”

“Me too.”

We walked around turn one as the sky darkened. There was no race, so the track lights weren’t on. The darkness was growing quickly. “We’re not going to be able to see.”

Elias looked at me and smirked. “That’s what I’m counting on. If we can’t see, then neither can the cameras.”

“Are we going to do something illegal?”

“Illegal? No. Risky?” He made a noncommittal sound. “Maybe.”

It wasn’t until we made it to turn three that he showed his hand. I could barely see the track in front of me.

“Ready?” Elias asked.

“Ready for what?”

He stepped close to the inside of the track and looked for something I couldn’t see before gesturing me closer. “We’re in a tiny blind spot. Let’s go.” Grabbing my hand, he pulled me off the track and into the trees that created a little patch of woods within the track. Most tracks didn’t have foliage in them. This was one of the few exceptions.

“ Elias .” I hissed his name.

“See?” He said. “Not illegal.”

Laughing, I stumbled into him when he stopped short in a little clearing inside the trees. “No, but why are we here?”

Sliding the backpack off, he opened it and shook out a blanket and placed it on the ground. “I heard some of the other mechanics talking about their plans for the night. Did you know it’s the start of football season? European football,” he said with a laugh.

“I mean, I know it starts around now, but not exact dates.”

“Turns out today is Espana’s first home game for their national team.” He sank onto the blanket and patted the spot beside him until I slid down next to him.

The scent of huckleberry filled my nose, and I gave in, leaning into him and inhaling deep. Elias caught my mouth in a kiss that I savored. We were hidden in the trees. I chose not to worry about anyone wondering why we weren’t coming back to the paddock or someone realizing we’d disappeared from the cameras. There was caution, and then there was paranoia. I’d stick to the first one, thank you very much. Especially when it meant getting kissed like this.

It reminded me of those moments when I’d realized he was between my legs. Now, his tongue coaxed my lips open to dance with mine, taking possession of my mouth with the confidence of an Alpha.

Boom .

The sound made me jump, whirling toward the noise only to find the sky through the trees filled with light and color. Fireworks.

Elias kept his lips on my skin, kissing my cheek, my temple, the corner of my lips. “That’s why we’re here. They’re setting off fireworks for the football game. I figured we’d be able to see them from here, even if they’re through the trees.”

Another boom, and this time the sky filled with bursts of the Espana flag. They exploded and faded, the sounds echoing over the track and into the trees with a new rhythm. Elias scooted behind me, pulled me between his legs, and wrapped his arms around me, catching my hands so it was like we were both holding me.

It felt… normal.

“What made you want to do this?” I asked quietly, just enjoying the riot of color in the sky.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

I smacked his hand lightly. “That’s not a real answer.”

He tucked his face into my neck, kissing me there with a soft chuckle. “It is, but I can give you a different one if you like. It seemed like fun. It’s the first day of testing, your first real day on the team, and I thought we could pretend the fireworks are for you.”

Sometimes there were fireworks at the end of races when the winner crossed the finish line. There always were for the last race of the season.

“And I wanted to spend time with you.”

My stomach did that little flip it did whenever they said something sweet like that. I just wasn’t used to people saying things like that to me . It was to other people. The Omegas that fit better into the mold and didn’t disturb what everyone’s idea of a racer should be.

“You make it sound so simple,” I said.

Elias tucked his legs in closer on either side of me. “It is simple, Nessa. I might be a Beta, but you’re mine just the same. I’m yours. And despite having to keep this under wraps, I fully intend to court you the way an Omega is meant to be courted. The others feel the same.”

I opened my mouth and closed it again, struck by his words. It was something I’d always wanted but never said because I knew better. Sacrifices had to be made when you wanted something, and I’d wanted to be a driver. I’d been afraid letting anyone know I wanted to be courted would open up the floodgates of strangers sending me gifts and attention I couldn’t handle, so I’d pressed the desire down so far I didn’t feel it anymore.

“Why courting?” I asked so quietly I could barely hear myself. “We’re scent matched.”

“Being scent matched doesn’t mean we’re going to skip things. Yes, we’re matched, but like we just talked about, we don’t know each other.” Then I felt him smile. “Yet. And I don’t care if I have to sneak around to take you on a proper date. I’m still going to do it.”

The whole sky went ablaze with a cascade of blue and white sparks. It lit up the trees and gilded them with silver. Fucking beautiful.

I leaned my head back on Elias’s shoulder, sinking deeper into the comfort of simply being held. “Thank you.”

His only response was to snuggle me closer.

“You mentioned being an adrenaline junkie,” I said. “Is there another part of this date I’m not aware of?”

“Just the thrill of maybe being caught.”

A giggle burst out of me. “Hoping for more than just fireworks?”

“I don’t know.” I felt him shrug. His voice was too casual. “It’s possible we could make a few fireworks of our own.”

Turning away from the fireworks, I moved to straddle his legs, pushing him back on the blanket. He grinned. “If I time it right, maybe I could get you to scream my name with the grand finale.”

“How on earth would you know when that is?”

“A man can dream.” He hauled me down to kiss me, this time holding nothing back. Our mouths clashed and consumed, the delicious and deepening scent of berries the only thing around me.

Water sprayed directly into the side of my face.

I yelped, leaping back and suddenly feeling cold as my clothes soaked through. The sprinklers had turned on. All over the grass of the track and in this patch of woods, water now poured from invisible heads. Elias sputtered and wiped the water away, which did absolutely nothing.

We stared at one another for a second before collapsing into laughter. “Well, that was something I didn’t see coming.”

Elias pulled me in for one more kiss before he scooped me up along with the blanket and pack. It was warm enough to be outside. Not enough to fuck in the middle of spraying water.

He led me through the blind spot—not before pausing just inside the trees to push me up against one. “Maybe we’ll finish this when we come back to this track for the actual race.”

“Yes,” I gasped, feeling how hard he was through the wet clothes. “Yes.”

We couldn’t touch once we were back on the track, but we couldn’t stop smiling, couldn’t stop laughing. And more than that, we couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel where there wasn’t any water.

Fireworks lit up the sky until we couldn’t even see them anymore.