CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

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Charlie Amor: And we’re back! Welcome to Formula 1. If this is the first time you’re joining us this weekend, the World Championship is set to continue here in Deutschland.

Geoff Askew: There’s a definite air of excitement in the paddock. There always is after the drivers have a couple weeks off to recover. But the second half of the season has more at stake. Teams are locking in their places in the championship, contracts are frantically being negotiated behind the scenes, and every driver is desperate to prove themselves so they can keep their seat, or, if they’re good enough, get snapped up by a higher ranking team.

Charlie: A good percentage of the grid is out of contract this year, so we’ll see some musical chairs, for sure. But in the meantime, we’re warming up for round eleven of the Formula 1 championship. Let’s take a look at where everything stands.

The engine slowed, the buzz of it lessening. Shit.

“I’m losing power.”

I tried to keep up the pace, but if the engine wasn’t at full capacity, there was no way. Eddie Ranka passed me, and then Aran. Another car closed in fast.

“Beck?”

“Hold.”

He was getting information from the other engineers, but I needed something now .

“Box, Nessa. We have to retire the car.”

My heart fell. Fuck. Nothing felt worse than being out of a race for something out of your control. Shit happened. We pushed the vehicles to the limits, and they broke.

“All right.”

“Sorry, love. We’re afraid the engine won’t make it another lap.”

I didn’t point out that he’d used his nickname for me on the radios. We tried not to, but it happened sometimes. He could sense my disappointment and wanted to comfort me. Plus, everyone knew about us. But I didn’t draw attention to it as I pulled into the pit lane and let the car be guided back into the garage.

After hopping out, I went over to the pit wall and stepped up in between Beck and Grayson.

“Shit luck,” Beck said. “Sorry about that.”

I sighed. “It happens.” Still felt awful though.

He tucked a hand around my hip and kissed my cheek. “We’ll get them next time.”

Grayson was engaged in the race still, but he reached out to squeeze my hand before I left to get my post-race stuff done. I glanced up at one of the monitors with the race on it. The commentators could be heard, and the cameras focused on River.

He went wheel to wheel with Lars, and lost. Lars pushed him far enough that River’s wheel caught the gravel.

It was a testament to what a fucking incredible driver he was that the spin didn’t put him in the wall. He caught it just in time and managed to get back on the track, and not in last place. Still.

Ronan, who was just behind him, wasn’t so lucky. He had to swerve to miss hitting River, and when his wheel locked, he wasn’t able to save it. He went into the wall. It wasn’t a hard hit, but it wasn’t one you came back from to finish either.

Seems like everyone had shit luck today.

I found Annika in the Paragon trailer catering area, watching the race. She was gathering her things. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey. Sorry they retired you.”

“Yeah. Not going to say I’m happy about it, because I’m not, but it happens. Where are you going? I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Annika blushed.

It froze me in my tracks. My bold, brash friend rarely blushed. If ever. We’d talked briefly over the break after my heat broke. I wanted to check in and make sure she got back to Britannia all right, and she wanted to see I was still alive. She assured me she was fine.

Now I wondered if she was more than fine.

The only time she’d blushed in recent memory was when I was trying to pry her mystery man out of her.

“Have something to tell me?”

She pressed her lips together. “All right, I didn’t go back to Britannia for the break.”

“Let me guess, you finally rented that beach house you’ve been talking about and did nothing but surf the whole time?”

“I did surf, but…” She sat back in her seat with a sigh. “Fuck me. All right. It’s still newish and I’m not sure where it’s going, so please don’t say anything.”

“You kept the biggest secret in existence for me. We’re good.”

Annika looked at me. “I spent the break with Ronan.”

My eyebrows rose. “Ronan Phillps?”

She nodded.

The week we’d been found out, in Canadia, she’d said something that made me think she was staying somewhere other than her hotel room. “Since Canadia?”

“That was the first time. But yeah.”

I grinned. “That’s amazing.”

“Really?”

“Did you think I’d be upset or something?”

“No.” She rolled her eyes. “But I thought it might be weird since we’re so close and then also be with two guys on the same team.”

Waving a hand, I dropped down into the chair next to her. “Who knows what teams they’ll be on down the road? If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“I am so far.”

“Good. I’ll have to give him the ‘if you hurt my friend’ speech.”

She laughed and stood again. “He’s already prepared for it. But since he spun out?”

“Yeah, go. I’m good.”

Annika touched me on the shoulder as she passed.

Sitting there for a while, I answered some emails from Oliver. Once he understood how racing worked, Oliver quickly stopped traveling with us. Everything I needed in person was handled by Annika. He needed to be more behind the scenes, and he was incredible at that. I’d never had that kind of ease with my schedule or my inboxes.

My phone rang in my hand.

Grandpa.

“Isn’t it like eight in the morning?” I asked.

“Been up since five. What’s the difference?”

I slouched in the chair. “What possible reason could you have for being up at five a.m.?”

“I’m old, Nessa. Old people don’t sleep.”

I scoffed. “Sure.”

“They tell you what went wrong?”

“Not yet. I’m sure they will at team debrief.”

“Mmm. Well, it’s just one race. Don’t worry about it.”

Unzipping my racing suit and pulling the top half off to expose the underlayer and keep me cooler, I sighed. “When did I say I was worried about it?”

“Every damn time you had to retire from a race since you were six years old.”

“Fair point,” I muttered.

We sat in silence for a second before he spoke again. “You have a good break?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “I did.”

“I hope Grayson read you the riot act for racing in heat.”

“Basically, yeah. We worked it out. I don’t need to hear it from you too. I know it wasn’t the best choice.” I stood and went to my driver room, shutting the door behind me.

He didn’t even miss a beat. “You’re moving to Monaque with them?”

It hadn’t been said out loud, but yes. It didn’t need to be said out loud, because I would go where they went. End of story. “Yes. I know it’s farther than Britannia, but I’ll still be over there for races. And now that I have my salary, I can come visit more.”

“I’m glad you have them,” he said. “I’ve always wanted you to have someone, Vanessa. You know that.”

He had. My grandfather had supported me in racing in whatever way he could, but he’d never been shy about the fact that he wanted me to have more than racing. Even though racing had been the only thing I wanted before now. “I know.”

“I had them looked into as well. Turns out they actually do deserve you, which is good.”

“Grandpa, did you hire someone to stalk them?”

A laugh burst out of him. “No, smart-ass. I reached out to people in the industry. Everyone had good things to say.”

“What would you have done if they’d had bad things to say?”

There was a sound in the background, like he dragged a mug across his bedside table. “No need to worry, since it didn’t happen. But I have someone for that.”

“That’s your answer? ‘You’ve got a guy’?”

“Yup.”

I shook my head. “You’re impossible.”

“Impossible? Or incomparable?”

“Both.”

He laughed again. “Hang in there, kiddo. Don’t let one race get you down.”

“I won’t.”

We ended the call, and I felt lighter. He was right. It was only one race.