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CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

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Geoff Askew: Normally at this point in the broadcast we’d be taking you to more post-race interviews and content. But we must interrupt that for a moment. Not great news, I’m afraid. It was just announced by Grayson de Clare that Vanessa Lennon’s tyres were sabotaged during today’s race. Vanessa had two tyres puncture, and while at first the incident seemed to be nothing more than an unfortunate accident, further examination by the Paragon mechanics revealed that not only were those tyres punctured prior to the race, but all the tyres for that position on the car. Mr. De Clare is about to speak live, and we’ll take you to him now.

[Cut to Grayson de Clare in front of a bank of microphones]

Grayson de Clare: Upon recovery of Vanessa Lennon’s car into the garage, our mechanics conducted a thorough investigation and found what appears to be an interference with the tyres. Every rear right tyre had been punctured prior to the race, leaving a hole in the tyre blanket and visible evidence of the puncture on the surface of the tyre.

It is not immediately clear how this was accomplished, or who is responsible. Paragon Racing will be conducting a full investigation, along with the stewards and the FIA. This will include a full internal review as well.

[takes deep breath] Vanessa has been cleared by all medical teams. All things considered, we are grateful the crash was not much worse, as we all now know it could have been.

Sabotage and foul play are antithetical to Formula 1 as a sport. We are a sport of strict rules and regulations by design. If everyone isn’t playing by the same set of rules, this sport cannot continue to exist. And beyond that, taking action against a driver with the intent to do harm, as we are currently assuming, will not be tolerated.

When we find the parties responsible, we will pursue both punishment and justice to the fullest extent available. I’ll take your questions now.

[reporters erupt into chaos]

John waved as I stepped into the elevator, satisfied that I was good. But as soon as I was out of sight, my shoulders slumped, the exhaustion and emotion catching up with me. Holy fuck. It had happened. Someone sabotaged my tyres. Someone had gone out of their way to either make sure I didn’t score points or, worse, tried to injure me. I couldn’t make myself think what else could have happened.

My clothes hit the floor. I didn’t even bother leaving my own room, heading straight for the shower. I stepped under the flow of water and took a breath. The heat felt good, and so did being alone. It didn’t really matter who had sabotaged my tyres. It had still happened, and it was exhausting pretending that I could just let it roll off my back.

The guilt came a second later, because by all accounts everything was incredible. Most of the drivers on the grid had no problem with me. I was trailblazing in one of—if not the most—competitive sports in the world. I now had a pack who was courting me, and I was performing well. No one could tell me I had a bad life. I couldn’t look at myself and say that.

Rationally, I knew that both things could be true. Just like I could be strong in public and soft for my pack in private. You could have an amazing life and still have hardship. All I had to do was look at my own family to see that. But letting it all in, letting it get to me, even sensing it in my body.

It felt… weak.

The faint sound of a door opening reached me. I pressed my forehead to the tiled wall of the shower, unwilling to look and see who it was. Mint swirled through the damp air, warming and cooling my lungs at once. River’s arms came around me from behind and he kissed the back of my neck.

“How did you get in here?”

“Our suite. You didn’t lock the door.”

Right. The hotel suites were connected as they always were. I knew that. Had used that door this morning. I just wasn’t thinking. Someone other than housekeeping would figure out our proximity sooner or later, but it wasn’t what I was focused on right now.

“I’m okay,” I said, breathing in his scent. Having River here helped me bring my walls back into place. They’d been slipping.

“You don’t have to be.”

“But I am.”

His hands never left my skin as he turned me around and came closer. He blocked enough of the water’s flow that it felt like he was protecting us both. The way he looked at me… I shook my head, because I couldn’t hide from that look and I wasn’t ready for it.

“ Are you okay?” The words were so quiet they nearly got lost in the sound of falling water.

My throat felt tight. “Of course.”

“Nessa.”

I looked straight through his chest and shook my head once. I was fine. I was fine.

I was fucking fine .

“You know, we haven’t been a pack very long,” he said. “Even before you. It’s only been a couple of years. We’re still figuring each other out. It’s a lifetime project. But there are some things we laid out at the beginning.” I closed my eyes and listened, grateful that he wasn’t asking me to speak. “One, the pack comes first. This world is hard. We’ve all got obligations, and there are so many things waiting to tangle us up. But at the end of the day we come first, because if we don’t, it all falls apart.”

That made sense.

“Two, never get our information about each other from anyone but the pack. Too many rumors and people with other agendas to get our information any other way. So no matter what we hear, believe nothing until it’s told to you from one of us.”

River stayed silent so long I finally opened my eyes to find him staring at me. His eyes dropped to my lips and came back.

“Is there more?”

He nodded slowly. “Three. No matter what happens, we’re the safe space for each other. People have bad days. People say hurtful things. People fight. We fight. But we don’t turn away from it, even if it hurts.” He smiled faintly. “Because of rule number one.”

The pack came first.

I heard what he was really saying. If I wasn’t okay, I could say so. It wasn’t a requirement to hide myself from them. But I’d been doing it for so long, from everyone, I wasn’t sure I knew how to let anyone in.

But fuck I wanted it. And just the thought of being able to lean on someone for once in my life made everything spill over. Heat built behind my eyes so I squeezed them shut. The first tears squeezed out, and I choked on a sob.

My arms ended up around River’s neck, and I cried into his chest.

He gathered me up with a sigh of relief. It hurt. My chest hurt . And it was about more than today. This pain was about years and years of slights and comments and attempts to force me out of this world. But today…

Today scared me more than I wanted to say out loud. What if it had gone more wrong? What if I had punctured at the wrong time and?—

“They hate me so much,” I whispered.

“Fuck, baby.” River leaned his forehead against mine.

He didn’t try to tell me that it wasn’t true, and he didn’t tell me he was sorry, even though I knew he’d been scared too. They all had been. They were . I felt it in the way he held me now.

“Where is everyone?”

“Elias is scouring the garage for any clues, and Beck is helping him. I’m not sure where Grayson is, but I think he’s raising hell with the FIA.”

I shivered, and River spun us so more of the hot water touched my body. “It will just make it worse,” I said as I leaned my cheek on his chest. “Any punishment they give, they’ll make it sound like it was special treatment.”

River’s growl echoed through the shower. “You think if someone else’s tyres were sabotaged the FIA wouldn’t take action? They would.”

I knew that, but I also understood the reality. “It’s different.”

“The hell it is. Even if they think that and people start saying it, I’ll be the first one to tell them to shut the fuck up.”

I smiled in spite of myself. “Thank you.”

Slowly, River lifted my face to his and kissed me. “Not everyone hates you, Nes. There’s no one on the Xelerate team who has anything but respect for you. You know Ronan is on your side. And I know we’re not the only ones who feel that way.”

“There’s still people who do.”

“And those people better watch their backs,” he said. “Because you’re ours, and I don’t even care that we’re not public yet. The pack comes first, and no one talks shit about my Omega. And no one’s going to hurt you.” That was softer. “None of us will let that happen.”

Swallowing, I didn’t say the words on the tip of my tongue. Which were that if someone wanted to hurt me during a race—and they’d already come close today—there was every chance my men wouldn’t be able to stop someone if they tried. But I loved that he said it, and I loved that he meant it.

Slowly, once I’d let him hold me until my fingers started to prune, we moved, slowly washing each other before getting out of the shower. The heated towels were something I was never going to get over. Something so luxurious was making me spoiled, and I loved every fucking second.

I wrapped a robe around me and glanced at River. After the tears, I felt better. Grayson said they would be busy, but this was about me, and maybe there was something I could do. “I should probably check in with them in case they need help.”

“They don’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

He took my hand and pulled me into the other room where his clothes and phone were. Grayson answered on the first ring. River had it on speaker.

“Yeah?”

“Do you need Nes at all or can I keep her captive in the room, fuck her, and feed her snacks?”

Grayson chuckled once. A dark sound that told me all about the anger he currently held. “Keep her there.”

I had no desire to go anywhere, but my independence flared. “I can go wherever I want, Gray.”

“Yes you can.” The answer was immediate. “But I don’t want you down here, little one. The press are feral, and I’m not the only Alpha who’s pissed as hell. Stay there. I’ve got it handled.”

“Okay.” Every time he called me little one something deep inside me loosened. I didn’t fully understand this. The instincts to be small and soft and cozy, like every other Omega. But I’d never worried about it before.

That’s because you’ve never had anyone who cared about you and your Omega before .

I could relax into them and into my softest, most Omega self, and trust that they had my back. My mind didn’t want to trust it, because I’d been burned so many times before. But these were my scent matches. They were my pack.

Grayson said something I didn’t hear before River hung up. “Come on.” He took my hand again. “Our rooms have bigger beds.”

“I’m not sure if I’m up for a sex marathon.”

He grinned at me over his shoulder. “Snacks first, then we’ll see.”

I shook my head, but let him lead me through the connecting doors. Back to our space. Where I never wanted to leave.