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CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO

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iceninjette: Holy shit. Holy actual fuck. What was that? Is she okay??

the_book_scientist: I’ve never seen a crash like that. That’s terrifying.

Bubblesandfae: Please tell me this wasn’t on purpose. Fuck, please tell me that wasn’t on purpose.

abbimakesbread: Why would you say that?

chaiandchapters13: I get it. The tyres, that weird AF retirement a couple weeks ago. And Bachman now wins this race as soon as Lennon and Daniels are out? Seems really convenient.

smunchybuns: It is, but that’s also just what happens. Bachman was fighting for place before they crashed. I know people don’t like him, but he’s not the one who caused the crash. He wouldn’t jeopardize his own future like that, right? But I’m with you. I hope she’s okay.

Beeping woke me. Steady beeping. It didn’t sound like my alarm. Was it one of the guys’? I felt... foggy. And I hurt.

My eyelids felt too heavy, but I needed to open my eyes. Why couldn’t I? What was happening?

“Vanessa?” I heard my name. I knew that voice. “Open your eyes, love. We’re here.”

My eyes fluttered. It was so bright that it hurt, and I flinched.

“Turn off the light. Here.”

When I opened my eyes again the light was softer and warmer. Less jarring. River sat beside me, leaning over the bed and holding one of my hands with his. His hands were covered in bandages. Like the one he’d had for the necklace tattoo, but thick and everywhere. He looked like he’d spent far too long outside at the beach with how red his skin was.

His eyes shone with tears when I looked at him. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi.”

“Fuck.” He blinked away the shine in his eyes as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine. “I haven’t been able to breathe.”

Beneath the fog, their bonds all felt taut and panicked. Terror and relief fought for dominance in all of them. I looked to my other side and found Elias there. Beck and Grayson weren’t much farther.

When I reached for Elias, my arm felt heavy. There...

There was a cast on it.

I crashed.

The memory flooded back in all at once. I’d been hit and hurtling toward the wall. Now I was here. In a hospital. With all of them around me. Now I had my own fear. “Why am I here? What happened? Am I okay?”

Grayson came around where River sat with me and leaned down, kissing my hair. He breathed me in slowly, relief spilling over in the bond between us. “You’re all right, little one. Your arm is broken and you have some burns. But all the other tests came back clear.”

He choked up, the words vanishing too fast. I looked up at him. Panic began to burn in my chest. What had happened while I was asleep? What made them feel like this?

A bandage wrapped around the hand River held, and now that I could look and feel, my feet and legs were wrapped too. How bad was the damage?

“Nessa.” Elias called my name softly. He smiled even though I felt his own fear and relief. “It was a bad crash. We’re all shaken up, and it’s going to take some time. Would you like to see it?”

My heart pounded in my ears, but I nodded. Because nothing was worse than not knowing and imagining. I hated the gaping hole in my memory.

He leaned onto the bed with me, propping up his phone so I could see. It was a familiar shot through the broadcast, and I already knew what was happening. We were lapping cars.

At the last second, the car I passed jerked, clipping my tyre. It sent me off the track. I remembered the dizzy feeling of not being able to control the car and closing my eyes for the hit, but the hit hadn’t come.

On the screen, my car exploded into flames when it hit the wall. I gasped. The car wasn’t visible at all. Just burning. The commentators, the audience, the entire track was silent with shock.

Seconds later River ran down the track toward me, screaming my name, only to be held back by the safety officers arriving. He didn’t let them hold him back, barely pausing before shoving them off him and diving into the flames with me. Without his helmet. That’s why his face was burned.

I couldn’t move or breathe. Only watch. Right now, I knew I was alive and safe. They hadn’t.

It felt like a lifetime before River stumbled out of the fire with me in his arms. Seconds later, the car exploded again, nearly touching River’s back and sending him to his knees still carrying me. That would have?—

He took off my helmet and shoved a thumbs up in the air. I was alive. Even through the cameras I saw he was burned too. Chest heaving breath as he watched the paramedics load me up and take me away, agony clear in his expression.

His hands.

I looked over at them. “Your hands.”

“Damn my hands,” he growled. “They’re fine. They’ll heal. And your tattoo made it through entirely intact, by the way.” His hands squeezed the one of mine he held. “I would rather lose my hands than lose you.”

Reality caught up with me all at once. Tears rose and I couldn’t hold them back. “You’re okay though?” He could have died trying to save me, and that made it so much more real.

“I’m okay, baby. We’re okay. I promise.”

I looked at the four of them one by one. “I’m sorry.” Not for the crash. I couldn’t have prevented that. But the terror that followed. Watching that was hell and I was here, safe, sitting in a hospital room. They didn’t know if I had died.

Beck made his way to me, stepping around Elias before he tilted my face to his so he could kiss me. It wasn’t all of him. He held back because he didn’t want to hurt me. But feeling me breathe soothed his aching soul, and I loved that no words were needed for me to know it.

“Forgive us, Nes, if we hold you a little tighter for a while. Because there’s every possibility of us going overboard, and I don’t think I’ll have the strength to stop myself.”

I closed my eyes and leaned into him. “That’s fine.”

Right now, them holding me sounded nice. It wasn’t what he meant. He meant that they might be overbearing about my safety, but at this exact moment I didn’t care. I couldn’t race with a broken arm. There was only one race left this season, and I couldn’t change my standings. If this was going to happen, it was a good time for it.

Not that I wanted to make a habit of crashing into fireballs.

“Who won?”

“Bachman.” Elias rolled his eyes. “Of course he did.”

I looked at River. “And...”

“I’m still in first. The next race will decide it. And yeah, I’m racing. We already had that fight while you were resting.”

“You better win,” I told him. “I know I should have some team loyalty and say I want Lars to win for Paragon, but I can’t.”

Grayson chuckled. “I don’t blame you. Can’t exactly say I’m rooting for him myself. Though that sentiment stays in this room.”

Running a finger along my cast, Elias grinned. “We made sure they gave you black for the cast. If you want people to sign it we can do silver markers or something.”

“Thank you.” Even in the small things, they were thinking about me. I shook my head. “But what happened? I saw, but I still don’t get it. There was room.”

River squeezed my hand. “There was room… that sounds familiar.” I glared at him, and he leaned in to press a soft kiss on my lips. “Too soon?”

“A little.”

But his teasing lifted the feelings in the room and the ones in my chest. We were all here. We were all safe.

“I don’t know what happened,” Gray finally said. “We came straight here, so I haven’t had a chance to do any kind of looking into it. I’m sure the stewards are already investigating.”

“He did get a penalty,” Elias said. “Ten seconds for causing a collision.”

“Should have been more than that,” Beck grumbled.

Ten seconds was a severe penalty. Though it had been Gendra’s fault I crashed, it hadn’t been his fault the car went up in flames. Not that it was an easy thing to separate.

A soft knock on the door interrupted us, and a kind-faced doctor entered the room. “Hello, Vanessa. Happy to see you’re awake.”

His name was Adams? Abrams? I’d seen him briefly before when I’d had to get checked out. “Hello.”

“Everything looks good. You were very lucky. No internal bleeding or head trauma. Burns on your hands and feet, though your suit protected you from the worst of it. Your feet have the more severe burns. Like Mr. Daniels, we’ll have to keep an eye to see if a couple of places need skin grafts, but I expect you to make a full recovery from the burns. The cast on your arm will need to stay for about six weeks, but we’ll check it at four.”

It was a testament to all the safety measures the cars had that I wasn’t dead right now. That, and River’s quick actions, along with the rest of the safety crew. I nodded, still reeling from everything. “How long do I have to stay?”

“We want to keep you here for at least the night. I don’t foresee any problems with results like this, but I also won’t take any chances. We can discharge you tomorrow with a full care list.” He glanced at Grayson and smiled. “I’m sure your pack will help you follow it.”

“Yes.” Beck’s voice left no room for argument. I shivered, feeling the depth of his protective instinct.

“The four of you are welcome to stay here,” he said. “Sorry it won’t be more comfortable.”

Elias waved a hand. “We’ll be fine.”

The doctor looked at me. “I’m on call, so if you need anything, let the nurses know. Both our staff and the local staff have been briefed and are here to help.”

“Thank you.”

He didn’t linger, which I appreciated. All I wanted was the five of us, and I didn’t want it to be here. I wanted to be in our bed.

Fuck that. What I really wanted was to be in my nest with them. But that couldn’t happen yet. It couldn’t happen until after the last race. So being with them would have to do.

“We can go home,” River said. “I can skip it.”

I stared at him. “What?”

“I feel how badly you want to be home. We can go.”

“And just give up the championship?”

He tried to hide the pang of regret, but it was there, and I shook my head, a smirk breaking through. “If you think I’m going to let you do that, think again. You’re going to race, and you’re going to kick Bachman’s ass. Then you can take me home.”

River kicked off his shoes and climbed onto the bed with me, turning me so I was the little spoon while also being careful of the tube in my arm. He wrapped himself around me and shuddered.

I felt it. The memory of him seeing the crash and running to me. Not knowing if I was alive or dead. Wondering if he would know what a broken bond felt like. The newfound appreciation for what Grayson felt whenever we got into a car.

“We feel it,” I said quietly. “We feel it here and then we let it go.”

Someone touched my hair. “I’m not sure I can forget that quickly, little one.”

“Not forget it. We’ll never forget this. But we can’t all cling to the fear. I can’t. With all four of you…” I reached out a hand and Elias’s met mine. “Feel it first.”

Beck pulled another chair up beside the bed and took my other hand. River’s purr rumbled against my back, and I heard Gray take a seat down the bed. His hand slipped beneath the blankets and softly touched my bandaged ankle.

I was still breathing.

We were all still breathing.

They all touched me. I clung to them, and it was all that mattered.