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CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

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Charlie Amor: Welcome back to Formula 1. This is the weekend everyone has been waiting for. The Monaque Grand Prix. Where the rich and famous come to play and drivers become legends.

Geoff Askew: After qualifying today, it seems like we’re in for business as usual. But as you know, in Formula 1, there’s no such thing as business as usual. It’s one of the hardest tracks of the season, and one of the oldest as well.

Charlie: The prestige from winning the Monaque Grand Prix follows a driver for the rest of their career. And qualifying is more important than ever on this track, as there’s little to no place to overtake. Where you’re at in qualifying? More than an eighty percent chance that’s where you’re finishing.

Geoff: That’s true. But no matter what, the Monaque Grand Prix isn’t one to miss. Wherever a driver finishes, this Grand Prix is a once in a lifetime experience. Every time.

Charlie: Anything can happen.

I pushed my hair back over my shoulder in frustration. Monaque was a decent track for me normally. I’d always done well here in Formula 2, though I’d never won. But I’d fucked it up today. Not enough to screw me completely, but I was P-6 on the grid for tomorrow’s race, and here, that wasn’t great.

The chances of moving up the field on this track were slim to none, given the narrow streets and corners. There were always outliers, but I was annoyed that I’d slipped. One lockup, and my time had fallen by two full seconds. In a place like this, that was all that mattered.

River was on pole, as usual, and I was doing my best not to be annoyed. But if there was one thing I could count on, it was that River wouldn’t wave it in my face.

“Hey, Lennon.” Aran Toma, Johnny’s teammate, fell into step with me as I headed to our trailers.

“Aran. Well done.” He’d qualified right behind me.

“Thanks. I just wanted to ask, did something change with your contract?”

I glanced over at him. “No. Why?”

“I didn’t think so. Heard a couple of the younger drivers say they were hoping for your seat next year. Just made me pause.”

My contract was locked in for next season, and if that had changed, Gray wouldn’t have hidden it from me. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem. You’ve been killing it, so it didn’t make sense.”

“Not doing so bad yourself.”

He smiled. “Have to keep the big teams on their toes if I ever want a chance.”

“Keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll get it.”

Aran shot a salute in my direction before he split off to the Lockwood trailers. I barely stopped, finding the car and driver Grayson sent for me as soon as I grabbed my things. I was tired, and though there were Paragon events, I could skip them because resting before the race was more important.

It was a bit of a drive outside the city, but pulling up to our house had me all kinds of warm and tingly. Maybe faster to stay at a hotel down near the track, but we wanted to be here. At home.

All the furnishings we’d ordered last time were here, turning my bedroom into a dark, moody paradise that was so perfect I had to jump in the middle of the bed and kick my feet until I could stop smiling.

I lived here. With my pack.

River had Xelerate events he couldn’t skip, so I showered alone. Honestly, I was ready to go the fuck to sleep. This was the point in the season where it got hard. Well, harder. We were all wearing thin.

I didn’t even bother to dress, instead putting on a silky shirt and shorts in my closet that I’d never seen before, but guessed had been ordered by one of them. Or Annika, given how much fucking lace hung in the closet.

My eyes had just closed when there was a knock on the door frame.

Oh… shit.

Clearly I had fallen asleep, because it was now dark outside. My phone said it wasn’t late, but I felt like that nap had taken a hundred years. Grayson leaned against the door frame, watching me. “You look comfortable.”

“I am.”

He glanced at the room. “Everything you wanted?”

“It’s beautiful.”

Slowly, he approached the bed, and I soaked in every detail. From the dark dress pants to the team shirt rolled to the elbows and his hands in his pockets to the lock of dark hair falling over his forehead. My Alpha was smoking hot.

He sat on the edge of the bed with a laugh. “I’m going to need you to stop looking at me like I’m your next meal, little one.”

“Why? You could be my next meal. I had a nap. I’m rested.”

A raised eyebrow told me he knew I wasn’t. But I would get over that in order to taste him. It had only been a couple days, but that was too long. “As much as I would love that,” he spoke low, voice restrained, like he was holding himself back. “And I want nothing more than to pull you off this bed and put you on your knees, I need you to get dressed. Something comfortable.”

I threw my arm over my face dramatically. “Do I have to?”

“No, but I think you’ll like this.”

“Where are we going?”

He zipped his lips shut with a smirk. “Just put some clothes on that I don’t want to rip off you.”

I smirked right back. “Do those exist?”

Grayson grinned and reached for me, rolling me onto my stomach and smacking my ass. Then he pulled me up and off the bed so he could kiss me breathless. “Put some clothes on, Omega. Or I won’t take you to the surprise, because I’ll be too busy watching you gag on my cock before knotting you repeatedly. And that would be a shame, since we worked hard to make this happen.”

Warmth pooled low in my belly at his words. “How much of a shame?”

“A big one.” He turned me and gently pushed me toward the closet.

“Do I need to be camera ready?”

“Not at all. As long as you’re not wearing something that sexy, you’ll be fine.”

“Excellent.”

Soft dark pants and a t-shirt later, I was ready. Almost. River’s room was down the hall, and I snuck in as we passed to grab a hoodie. Having his hoodie on felt like being wrapped in a cookie. I wasn’t complaining.

Grayson held out something soft when we got into the car. I unfolded the long, dark piece of fabric. “What’s this for?” The driver pulled away from the house.

“A blindfold.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

I let him settle the soft cloth over my eyes, the lack of sight heightening every other sense I had. “There’s no one who will see me like this, right?”

“No one who will care or take it to the press,” he said. As soon as he was done he pulled me in. “Just because we couldn’t stay home doesn’t mean I can’t be close to you.” His voice lowered. “And no, I’m not going to fuck you or finger you in the car with a driver who can see and hear you. Nor am I taking you somewhere to do those things. But after seeing that…”

Grayson trailed off and made good use of his hands, massaging me where he could. He dragged my legs into his lap and massaged my calves. Turned me and dug his fingers into the knots at my shoulder blades. The twenty-minute drive into the city felt like nothing when I was fighting moans because it felt so good.

I got regular massages. Being massaged by my Alpha was all kinds of different, and I needed to see if we could do that with a lot more oil and a lot less clothing. Grayson purred, the rumble soft against the backdrop of the car’s engine. I’d never get tired of that sound.

“Here we are,” Gray said.

“Can I see?”

“Not yet. Do you trust me?”

“Of course.” He helped me out of the car. “Oh, by the way. Aran Toma asked me if there was something going on with my contract because he heard some drivers say they wanted my seat next year.”

He cursed in French under his breath. “They should focus on their own seats and not worry about yours. There’s nothing going on.”

“I know.” He guided me with a hand on my lower back and one of my hands in his. “Still figured it was worth mentioning.”

“Thank you. I’ll also let the PR team know in case they need to combat any rumors.”

My stomach swooped. We were in an elevator, climbing. Not for long. I kept quiet, sensing we were close but not knowing where we were. A door opened and closed. Grayson finally turned me toward him. “All right. It’s bright, so keep your eyes closed for a second.”

He undid the blindfold, and I blinked away the brightness. Looking to the left and right told me nothing until Grayson lifted his chin behind me.

The room we were in was warm and cozy, like a living room, but not quite. Medical equipment and a hospital bed stood cloistered in one corner. But on the couch, in the comfortable living space, was my grandfather.

My jaw dropped open. “What are you doing here?”

“You think you could drive on this track your first time in Formula 1 and not have me see it? Think again.”

I ran over and hugged him, my first thought nothing but happiness. My second thought was that he looked different from the last time I saw him. Felt different too. He was thinner.

“I’ll leave you for a while,” Grayson said. “Vanessa, I’ll be back later to take you home.”

“You can stay.”

He shook his head gently. “I’ll be back.”

Weird. I crossed my legs on the couch next to grandpa. “You flew all the way here? That can’t have been comfortable.”

“Grayson flew me,” he said with a shrug. “Private planes are a hell of a lot more comfortable than commercial ones.”

So that was what he meant by planning it. Fuck, he looked thin. For the first time in my life, I felt like my grandfather looked old . He was always a powerhouse and full of life. I barely recognized him. The sweatshirt he wore practically hung off his body. “How long have you been planning this?”

“Not long.” He reached over and took my hand. “And there’s a reason.”

Sudden terror gripped me. That tone… my voice wouldn’t work. Grandpa shook my fingers. “Don’t disappear on me, Sticky.”

My eyes flew to his. He hadn’t called me that in years . Since I was little, and all I knew about caramel was that it was sticky, so when people asked me about my scent, that was my answer.

“What’s going on?”

Grandpa swallowed. “I should have told you before. Everything had just come out with your pack, and you were so happy. You know that’s what I’ve always wanted, for you to be happy, right?”

“Grandpa, you’re scaring me.” I felt the tingling beginnings of tears and tried to hold them back.

He set his other hand on top of mine, cradling it. “Everything’s been good, you know? I’ve felt good. Better than I’m used to. So when the scans came back, it was a shock. I won’t lie to you. It’s pretty much everywhere.”

“What?” He had pancreatic cancer, but it had been under control for so long we’d thought it was in remission, or at least close. There’d been no evidence of disease for years. The meds he’d been taking, and the occasional round of chemotherapy, were keeping him stable.

“It’s everywhere,” he repeated. Then he laughed. “Scans were actually kind of beautiful. The way they lit up. Like I’m my own personal galaxy.”

I swallowed, trying to keep myself from falling apart and making assumptions. “So what happens now?”

He lifted his eyes to mine. “Nothing happens now, Vanessa.”

“No, I mean, what will they do? The combination of chemo and radiation they did last time. That will help, right? It was really responsive to that one kind. I can’t remember the name of it. I’ll fly back and help when I can. It will be okay.”

Grandpa lifted my knuckles to his lips. “They’re not going to do anything, Vanessa. I’ve asked them not to. I’ve been asking them not to.”

I rocked back like I’d been struck. “You can’t mean that.”

“I do. And I haven’t been fair by keeping this from you. I know I haven’t. It’s something I’ll regret wherever I’m going. But I don’t have long. I can feel it. And I wanted to see you. I needed to see you here .”

My tears spilled over and a ragged sound came from my chest. “You can’t mean that. Please.”

All he did was open his arms, and I surged into them, clinging as I cried. This wasn’t right. It couldn’t be right. It wasn’t real.

“My whole life, I’ve been afraid of this,” he said quietly, holding me while I sobbed. “Of leaving you behind if something happened to me. I’ve been afraid you wouldn’t have anyone, and I’m not afraid anymore.”

“So you decided to leave me?” I barely recognized my own voice.

“No.” He squeezed me tighter. I heard the emotion in his own voice, and wasn’t sure I’d survive it if I looked at him. “No. I’ve never wanted to leave you, Sticky. Never. But I’m old. I’m tired. My body can’t go through all that again. Even if it could, there’s too much of it. The cancer. I don’t want to spend the time I have left in that kind of pain.”

What was left of me broke. “You can’t go.”

“I was always going. No matter if the cancer came back or not, I would have had to go sometime. And fuck if I’m not glad I got to see you do this first. Meet your pack. They’re good for you, and they’ll take care of you.”

“Or you’ll pummel them into the dirt?”

“That’s right.”

Both my arms were fully around him, and he stroked my hair. The tears seemed endless. Flowing from the crack now in my soul.

“I’m going to be all right, Vanessa,” Grandpa said. “I promise you. I’m going to be just fine. Because I’ll finally get to see Grandma Rose again, and your mom and dad. I’ll get to tell them how proud I am of you, and if there’s any kind of television up there, we’ll be watching every race.”

“Why does it feel like you’re saying goodbye?”

“Because I am. I have every intention of watching you race tomorrow and cheering you on. But every goodbye I say is one that could be my last, and I’ve never been a man who liked regrets, even though I have some.”

He tugged me upward, loosening my arms from around him. His sleeve soaked up my tears, though they kept coming. “Now come on. Tell me how you’ve been. Tell me about the race. Tell me everything.”

“We bought rings.” I sniffled and wiped my nose, trying to stop the flowing tears. “I don’t know when they’ll ask, only that they will. No bonding ceremony. You know I’m too impatient for that shit.”

He laughed, his smile and sparkle still the same.

We talked and talked, and talked. Until I could barely keep my eyes open as I curled up with my head on his shoulder. My hand was still cradled in his. We had barely let go.

“Will you tell it?” I asked.

The story of how my parents met. I used to ask for it every night before bed, and he would only tell me sometimes. When I’d been good.

Grandpa chuckled. “I’ll tell it. Like most of our stories, it starts at a race track.”

I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of his voice until I was carried away.