Page 90 of Into These Eyes

Gavin

S omething warm presses against my side. Keeping my eyes closed, I remember the vivid dream of Jamie climbing onto the bed with me, filling me with such relief I think I slept like the dead.

A twitch against my chest pops my eyes open.

Not a dream.

I stare down at her limbs, perfectly placed to avoid my injuries.

Her face is tucked into my neck, her dark, tangled hair fanning over her arm and my chest. The hand resting over my heart twitches again.

I can’t see her eyes, but I’m sure if I could, I’d see them dancing beneath her lids as she dreams. Her breaths come long and measured, indicating she’s deep in the depths of what I’m certain is some much-needed sleep.

Closing my eyes, I lie there, sucking up her warmth, her presence, every tick in her fingers.

She’s here. She’s alive.

The urge to hold her tight, cup her face and kiss it all over, surges through me like a tsunami.

But I don’t want to wake her. That’ll come soon enough.

Along with the reality of what happened.

For now, I enjoy this quiet moment with my arm around her and the gentle beat of her heart against my rib cage.

I drift off again, and the next time I open my eyes, a nurse is standing beside me.

Care not to move my shoulder, I press a finger to my lips, and she nods as she continues to check my vitals in silence.

When she lifts a cup of water with a straw, I nod and take it from her, quickly emptying the contents.

Once she leaves, I know it won’t be long before breakfast comes around.

And I’m certain the gorgeous woman by my side will be pretty damn hungry.

Tracing my knuckles over her bare forearm, I take her hand from my heart and bring her fingers to my lips. I pepper them with kisses, then nibble at the inside of her wrist. Her fingers twitch, then fan out over my cheek, lightly stroking, as if she’s testing to see if I’m real.

Placing her hand back on my chest, I touch her chin and tilt her head back.

When her eyes meet mine, when they shine with love, I grin at her like a love-sick puppy.

And she bursts into tears.

“Hey, hey,” I murmur as she buries her face against my neck. She shudders and sobs, her hand on my chest finding its way into my hair and fisting the strands like she’s hanging on for dear life. That’s when I realise I’ve already done the same thing to her.

“I thought I lost you,” she cries, “thought I’d never see you again. Never hold you, kiss you, love you …”

“I know, J. I thought the same thing about you.” I hold her as she sobs, and I let my own tears fall as I stoke her hair and relish every bit of her living, trembling body against mine.

After a while, her sobs begin to subside into little sniffles against my neck.

“I think I might have to trade you in,” I tell her.

“What?”

“Well, this drooling Saint Bernard routine’s getting a little too much. I’m thinking maybe a Chihuahua. They don’t slobber, right?”

Her body shudders against mine, a hiccup of a giggle escaping. “I’d punch you, but I’m too scared I’d hurt you.”

Craning my neck, I try to see her face, but she’s keeping it firmly pressed against my neck. “Look at me.”

She shakes her head. “I’m a mess.”

“I love you messy.” Her lips smile against my skin, but she doesn’t move. “Jamie, I need to see you. I need your eyes.”

“Tissues?”

Over her head, I spot a box on the bedside table. Managing to reach out and snag a wad, I hand them to her. Only when she’s dried her face and blown her nose does she finally look at me.

I cup her cheek in my hand so she can’t hide. Staring into her eyes, I see the fear, the anguish, the relief. And love, and desire, and hope. “Give me those lips,” I grumble.

She hesitates. “But … morning breath.”

“I don’t give a fuck about morning breath. We’ll cancel each other out. Now shut up and come here, woman.”

Grinning, she surges forward and plants her lips on mine.

It’s that first kiss she gave me, so sweet and filled with comfort and the reassurance that she’s mine.

I love that kiss, but right now, I need more.

While our lips suck and teeth nip, my body lights on fire, leaving me thankful the catheter came out yesterday.

With some sort of sixth sense, the thigh resting atop mine slides upward.

When it finds my erection, she gently rubs up and down its length, releasing a groan into my mouth.

Christ, I want to ravish her and fuck her into oblivion, but my body’s in no condition to achieve either of those activities right now.

Pulling back, her gaze skates down to her rubbing thigh. “How long until you can be inside me again?”

“I haven’t quite gotten around to asking the doctor that yet. But I can’t see any harm in having you sit on my face. Should we check with him when he does the rounds?”

“Definitely,” she giggles.

The door swooshes open and an orderly brings in a tray. Once everything’s set up, Jamie takes the lid off the plate.

“Mmm, scrambled eggs and bacon, a muffin, apple juice and coffee. You’re not allowed any food, right?”

I squeeze her side, then find the remote to raise the bed. “Feed me, woman. I’m starving.”

And she does just that, offering me a bite for every mouthful she feeds herself. By the time we’ve devoured everything, we’re both sleepy again. But I fight it. I need to know.

“So, Reid’s been arrested?”

She stares at me, bewildered. “Anika didn’t tell you?”

“She told me about the operation your friend was leading, that they were waiting on the arrests before they’d let you come see me.” The look on her face sends fear spiking through me. “They got him, right?”

She shakes her head. “They didn’t need to. I shot him. I killed him.”

I stare at her in stunned silence. Never once did it cross my mind that she’d killed the man I blamed for so long. Shit. My failure to even remember he was a threat almost cost us our lives. Now she’s the one who has to bear the burden of killing a man. Because of me.

I tighten my arm around her, the need to protect her from the fallout overwhelming, even though it’s far too late. “Jesus, Jamie. Are you okay?”

“I’ve got a battle wound,” she says, a slight smile on her lips as she gently pats her hip. “Just a graze. A couple of stitches. After I shot him, he shot back.”

My heart thunders, my eyes never leaving hers. Fuck . He could’ve killed her. It’s a miracle she’s still here, but I don’t want to worry her with my thoughts. I want hers. “I’m talking about how you feel about it. The truth, J.”

She looks into my eyes for a long moment. I see a hardness there I haven’t seen since she glared at me in court. But there’s vulnerability within those depths as well.

Hesitating a moment, she says, “I never thought I could do something like that. Not until I was right there in the moment. He was going to kill us both.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

“No. Fuck him. No one hurts the man I love without consequences. And I’m not sorry. He was evil. Does it make me a bad person for being glad I’ve erased him from this world?” Uncertain, she bites her lip while she waits for my answer.

I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “You’re not a bad person, Jamie. You’re my fucking hero.”

Resting her hand on my chest, she shakes her head. “You’re the hero, dummy. I know you would’ve done the same for me. I know he took you by surprise, that you fought him after he shot you. And I know you saved both our lives.”

“I was useless, I couldn’t—”

“Not finished,” she says, placing a finger over my lips.

“When I heard his voice, I was operating on automatic pilot. There was nothing in my brain except getting to you. If I’d done that, we wouldn’t be here.

It was you … you yelling at me not to go out there, to get Bennie and the Jets.

It took me a second to figure that out, but when I did, it saved us. You saved us.”

As I start to deny her statement, she kisses my lips, no doubt to shut me up again.

I felt like I’d completely failed her, yet she’s not having it.

I suppose there’s a nugget of truth there.

At the time, my words were my only way to try and protect her.

As luck would have it, they’d worked. But the credit isn’t mine. Not by a longshot.

Breaking the kiss, I rest my forehead against hers. “Benny saved us.”

She grins. “Okay, Mr. Won’t-take-credit-for-anything, how about we say it was a group effort?”

I grin back. “Perfect. And when we see Benny …” A sudden knot forms in my stomach. “The gun … what’s happened with that? Benny can’t go back—”

Pressing a finger to my lips, she stops me again. “I had to tell Pete a few lies about that. I told him we found the gun in Dad’s safe when we found the letters, and that I was going to contact him after Christmas to find out what I should do with it.”

Jesus, how much more amazing can this woman get? After everything she’s been through, she still had the presence of mind to protect Benny. “So fucking smart, J. And he believed you?”

“Oh, he knew I was lying, but he went with it. It made sense. And he owes me. Big time. He’s agreed to a couple of other favours I’ve asked of him, too.”

“You’re busting his balls?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely,” she says, sinking her fingers into my hair. “He almost destroyed us. I think it’s only fair that he makes up for it.”

“Well, I don’t know the guy, so I trust you know what you’re doing.”

She snuggles against me, our eyes locked. “It’s almost visiting hours. You know you’re about to get swarmed by your family.”

“My family?” Those words sound so foreign to my ears, but I like them. A lot.

“Anika, Benny and Lach. They’ll be here by now. But before they come in, there’s something serious we need to discuss.”

I lean back a little and watch her eyes dance with amusement. “Spit it out.”

“I heard my sister saw your junk.”

I laugh, then groan when pain spikes through both of my injuries. “Yeah. I thought that was kind of funny … until I realised my sister also saw my junk. Then it just became disturbing. Do you think she’ll be traumatised for life?”

“Let’s hope so,” she giggles.

Then, just as I’m about to kiss her, a barrage of knocks come from the door, and the rest of my family burst into the room.