Page 31 of Into These Eyes

Jamie

A s we drive out of Nelson Bay and begin the trek back home, the signs for Anna Bay call to me. When the turn-off appears, I take it and head toward the ocean.

“How long since you’ve been to the beach?” I ask, glancing at Gavin.

He rubs a hand over his chin as he considers his answer. “I was seventeen. Drove Mum to Manly the day I got my Ps. The views from the Fairfax Lookout were amazing. She loved it.”

I hope I haven’t upset him, but when I catch his eye, he’s smiling. I envy him. He must have known by then about his mother’s illness, giving him opportunities to make happy memories together before her time came to an end.

“What about you, Benny?”

“Forty-odd-years. You gonna break the drought for us?”

I nod. “Crazy to be so close and not check it out, don’t you think?”

“Didn’t bring any swim-trunks,” he points out.

It’s a shame I hadn’t put more thought into this trip, but I hadn’t planned on it turning into anything other than a necessity.

I glance over at Gavin’s strong, tanned legs below his cargo shorts.

“We can still dip our feet in.” I suggest.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Gavin says, smiling at me.

“I’m easy,” Benny agrees. “Is this the beach that’s thirty-somethin’ Ks long?”

“That’s that one,” I say, pulling up to the unusual concrete pyramids that cordon off the carpark from the beach.

“Got a feelin’ ya gonna love it, Gav.”

The guys decide to ditch their shoes, and I do the same with my sandals, popping them in the boot, along with our phones and my handbag. Locking the car, I shove the key fob down my bra and look up to find Gavin staring at my boob.

His eyes snap up to mine, and I’m not quite sure, but I think his face turns a little red.

“You really shouldn’t put electronic devices so close to your, ah … delicate parts,” he mumbles.

Nope, no mistaking it. He’s blushing. Behind me, Benny snorts.

“This dress doesn’t have any pockets,” I explain.

Gavin indicates his shorts. “I’ve got plenty. Let me take it.”

I shrug, and as I reach into the top of my dress and fumble around in my bra, he makes no effort to hide the fact that he’s watching my every move. I s he imagining it’s his hand down my top? I find that idea surprisingly appealing.

When I pass the fob over, he turns it in his hand a few times, like he’s absorbing the warmth left behind by my body. Catching me staring, he quickly shoves it into the front pocket of his shorts.

“Did you just put it right next your … delicate bits?” I ask, unable to keep the grin off my face.

He smirks back at me for a moment, then reaches into his pocket and pulls it out. “Well, that was stupid.”

“Christ on a cracker, give me the bloody thing,” Benny grumbles, snatching the fob from Gavin. “No one’s gonna care what happens to my delicate bits .” He shoves it in his back pocket and strides off toward the beach.

“He seems a bit grumpy.”

Gavin tries to suppress a laugh, but I’m not quite as successful. “Only when he thinks I’m being an idiot,” he says, indicating that we should follow.

As we stroll side by side, I find myself waiting for that reassuring hand of his to rest against my back, and when it doesn’t happen, I want to kick myself for being disappointed.

After we make our way from the soft, uneven grains to the damp, firmly packed sand at the water’s edge, he moves closer, our arms brushing against one another. And I can’t be sure if my heart’s beating a little harder because of the contact, or the exertion of walking through soft sand.

“So,” he says, “ Bennie and the Jets . You know that’s a song about a woman, right?”

I glance at him, surprised he heard me, let alone took any notice. “Oh, it’s not that. When I first started work, I had a hard time remembering everyone’s names, so I learnt to use those word association tricks.” I shrug. “It’s become a habit.”

This time, the bump to my arm is deliberate. “Bet you didn’t have to do that with me.”

Along with my smile, my stomach drops. He knows as well as I do that you don’t forget the name of someone you hate.

From out of nowhere, the sea breeze hits me with a forceful gust, lifting my dress up around my waist. Mortified, I spin away from Gavin and flatten the dress over my crotch. Fumbling to cover my backside, the buffeting wind seems determined to keep the material out of reach.

Gavin’s hands suddenly grasp my hips, then travel down the outside of my thighs, bringing the dress with them as the gust peters out to a steady breeze.

Holy shit, he just saw my undies. And for the life of me, I can’t remember what pair I put on this morning.

He’s still standing behind me, his hands hot on my thighs, the front of his body so close to mine his chest brushes against my shoulder blades.

“I think it’s safe now,” I tell him, rattled by the thudding of my heart.

He releases his hold and steps to my other side, placing himself between me and the water. It’s only when we start walking again that I notice his hand resting on my back, almost as if he’s been waiting for an opportunity to naturally place it there.

“Well, that was humiliating,” I say, trying to laugh it off.

“I think you mean exhilarating .”

“Absolutely not.”

He shoots me a mischievous grin. “I guess it’s a matter of perspective. And nice …”

Was he about to say arse? “Nice what?”

“Legs,” he says. “Mine. They’re nice, right?”

I whack his upper arm, forgetting my embarrassment, loving the way he has no problem making a fool of himself. Going along with him, I pointedly stare at his legs before I nod. “They’re not too bad. Good enough for shorts, I suppose, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I wasn’t, until now.”

“Okay, I’ll admit it. They’re spectacular.”

“Now I know you’re lying,” he chuckles, his eyes dancing with happiness. “Come on, we should catch up to Benny.”

He grabs my hand and breaks into a jog, tugging me along until we reach his friend. Before he releases me, he gives a tight little squeeze, then pulls his wallet from his back pocket and hands it to Benny.

Benny grins as he takes it, apparently knowing exactly what’s going on. “Go, ya big goofball.”

Go? Where’s he—

And then go he does. He takes off at a sprint, his feet kicking up sand, arms pumping, his backside magnificent as those long, muscular legs almost become a blur.

“What’s he doing?” I ask Benny, the distance between us growing rapidly as Gavin flies along the beach.

“Running.”

I let out a huff. “I can see that. Why?”

“Coz that’s what he was meant ta do,” he tells me, a wistful look on his face.

“He was?”

“Ya don’t know he was destined ta be a great soccer player?” he asks, shifting his gaze to me.

“No. I had no idea.”

“Yeah, star of his high school. Had a few offers from some scouts he was still deciding on before everythin’ went down. Paid gig and everythin’, right off the bat. No doubt he woulda ended up playin’ for the Socceroos.”

My eyes water before I even have a chance to try and stop the sorrow pouring out of me.

“Hey.” Benny gives my shoulder a comforting pat. “Didn’t mean ta upset ya.”

Unable to speak, I shake my head. The more I discover about Gavin, the more I understand what my father took from him.

Like the fact that he really could have been someone, could have had an amazing career.

Instead, he has to start from scratch and find a place for himself in a world that thinks he’s a killer.

When I search for Gavin, I can no longer see him up ahead. “Is he going to run the entire length of the beach?” I joke when my voice returns.

Benny chuckles. “Well, if he does, it’ll be your fault.”

“I made him want to run away?”

“Yup,” he says with a wink.

“Okay, I don’t feel like that’s a compliment.”

“Sure as hell is.”

Confused, I stare at him. “You’ll have to explain that to me.”

“And I thought lawyers were s’posed ta be smart.”

“Spit it out, old man.”

That gets a laugh out of him. “Seein’ all this wide-open space, I knew exactly what he’d wanna do. ‘Specially since I’ve never seen him as happy as he is right now.” He shakes his head. “Well, not just right now. Since ya first turned up at his caravan.”

“Great news tends to have that effect.”

Benny does nothing to hide his smirk. “It’s not just the great news that has him full of beans. Guy’s got a heart so big, I think it physically hurts him not ta have someone ta share it with, so he’s gotta burn off all that excess energy. ‘Specially when that someone’s right here, within reach.”

His insinuation has my pulse tripping over itself. Completely flustered, I blurt. “He’s … well, I think he’s pretty amazing. I just—”

“Amazin’ huh?”

Shit. “I meant, it’s pretty amazing that he came out of prison the man he is. Knowing no one believed him and probably never would … I can’t even imagine.”

Benny’s smile fades as he stares at the endless stretch of beach before us. “I believed him.”

“I’ve wondered why you did. The cliché that every prisoner claims they’re innocent exists for a reason.”

“I s’pose, at first, I didn’t. But when I got ta know him, it was obvious. That kid didn’t have a murderous bone in his body.”

Though I don’t know Gavin all that well, that statement rings true. “How did he survive all those years?”

“He did it himself without even realisin’.”

I cock my head as something darkness drapes over Benny’s eyes when he glances at me. I don’t want to push, and maybe it’s Gavin I should be asking, but if Benny’s right and Gavin doesn’t even realise how he made it through, then Benny’s my only link to that information. “How?” I ask.

He sighs heavily and shoves his hands in his pockets. When his gaze returns to the beach, I’m sure he’s only seeing the memory that’s playing in his mind.

“He’d been transferred from remand ta the supermax for about a week. Found him in the showers. Three arseholes had him cornered. Good lookin’ guy like Gav … was bound to happen sooner or later.”