Page 70 of Into These Eyes

Jamie

“ D o it,” Gavin finally says.

I know those two little words weren’t easy for him, but I’m so proud of him for taking this small step.

Mum’s letter held so many revelations, but hidden beneath her words was a deeper truth.

That life is short and unpredictable. I’m sure, if something happened to Gavin’s father and he never tried, he might get lost in the darkness I know still lives buried deep inside him.

But he is trying. And that’s all I want for him.

After searching for Lachlan Lake in the White Pages on my phone, we discover only two entries for an L Lake in New South Wales. And one of them is a woman.

Wanting to give him some space for this, I climb off his lap. As I punch in the phone number and pace over the floorboards, he sits on the edge of the bed, watching me. Only when he nods do I press the dial icon, then I put it on speaker.

“Hello?” a man answers above a TV blaring in the background.

I lock eyes with Gavin. “Am I speaking to Lachlan Lake?”

“If this’s a scammer, you can bugger right off,” he says bluntly.

“No, Mr. Lake. I’m Jamie Evans.”

The background noise vanishes. Gavin and I stare at each other for at least twenty seconds. “Mr. Lake?”

A long exhale finally comes through the speaker, followed by an emotionally cracked voice. “Mattie’s daughter?”

“Yes,” I say gently. “Mattie’s daughter.”

This time we hear a shuddering intake of breath, and another long silence before he says, “Then I guess you’d better call me Lach. What can I do for you, Mattie’s daughter?”

I grin. “Well, then, you’d better call me Jamie, since I think you know Mattie had more than one daughter.”

“Anika,” he murmurs, the brutal pain of that one word filling the room.

“We’ve only just discovered the truth, so we’re still a bit shellshocked.” When he’s silent again, I jump in. “Thank you, Lach. For not taking her away from me.”

Sniffling seeps through the speaker. I don’t miss the brief surprise in Gavin’s eyes before he shuts it down.

“… all such a mess,” Lach says, “I couldn’t do that. Mattie always raved about what a wonderful daughter you were. I knew Anika would be raised right by you.”

Now it’s my turn to strangle back tears. After a moment, I tell him, “She wants to meet you.”

This time an actual sob erupts from the phone. Gavin’s jaw tenses, and I can’t tell if his father’s emotions are pissing him off, or getting under his skin in all the right ways.

When the sound of Lach blowing his nose blasts into the room, I almost drop the phone.

“Goddamn it,” he grumbles. “I’d love that.”

“Okay … And Lach? There’s something else.”

There’s a brief hesitation before he says, “Go on.”

My eyes bore into Gavin’s. “It’s about your son.”

Another large sniffle fills the room.

“Did you know he’s out of prison?” I ask.

“No, I … no.” I get the impression he can’t talk at all for a long moment. Finally, he says, “I’d like to say that’s good news, but I’m sure you’d disagree.”

I tilt my head, watching Gavin’s eyes widen a little at the telling statement.

“I don’t disagree with you at all, Lach. That’s something else that’s recently been brought to light. He’s innocent.”

“I know,” he says without hesitation. “It took me a long time to realise that. By then, it was too late to tell him I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.” He pauses again, letting muffled sobs reach us. After a nose blow, he asks, “How did you find out?”

“There’s a lot we need to talk about. We’d love to meet with you tomorrow.” I say, deliberately being evasive about who we is. I don’t want to promise this man a reunion with his son as well. It’s not my call to make.

After arranging a time and place to meet, I hang up, my eyes still locked with Gavin’s. For once, I can’t read him.

Cautiously, I ask, “What do you think? He seemed sincere.”

“Easy to fake it when no one can see your face.” He sounds harsh, stuck in his pain.

“True, but do you think he had a reason to fake it? He didn’t know you were listening. He doesn’t know how I feel about you.”

Avoiding my eyes, he runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “I can’t just flip a switch and change my mind. It’s not that easy.”

I step between his spread legs. Tentatively, I place a hand over the fist resting on his thigh, suddenly afraid he might reject my touch.

Doubt squeezes my chest. Am I interfering, applying pressure where it’s not wanted?

How can I know when I’ve never been in a relationship like this?

But I refuse to clam up. All that matters is communication, and if he wants me to stop, he only has to say so.

“You forget, only a few weeks ago, I had to flip that switch,” I remind him. “It wasn’t easy, but I’m so glad I did.”

His fist unfurls and engulfs my hand, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Yeah. That’s because you’re amazing.”

I give him a lopsided smile. “I seem to remember a pretty incredible person telling me that while he wasn’t defending my father for allowing him to go to prison, he understood why . If you can understand my father that way, maybe you can understand yours too.”

His eyes flick between mine, then he shakes his head. “Well played.”

“I’m not trying to play you.”

“I know. I just … don’t know if I’m ready. It’s all so sudden.”

“You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. But,” I say, brushing the hair back from his forehead, “would you feel like I’m being disloyal to you if I go with Anika tomorrow?”

“Of course not. You should be there to support her.”

“That’s not the only reason. I want to meet the man my mother was in love with. I want to meet Anika’s father. I want to meet your father. Because Gavin … he raised you, shaped you into the man I love. He did all that before he fucked up.”

Pulling me in tight, his lips graze my ear. “Like I said … fucking amazing.”

We spend the rest of the day absorbing all the new information by lazing about in and around the pool. With Gavin deciding to make up his mind in the morning about coming with us tomorrow, I leave that topic alone.

After taking a shower, I head down the hallway to join Gavin and Anika in the kitchen, ready to help with dinner.

As I enter the kitchen, I’m acutely aware of their conversation coming to an abrupt stop.

I glance from one to the other, watching as Gavin busies himself at the stove, while Anika quickly opens the cutlery drawer in an obvious effort to avoid my scrutiny.

It’s unsettling knowing the two people I love have been talking about me, but I refuse to pry.

Sidling up beside Gavin, I nudge his arm. “Anything I can do to help?”

He presses a pair of tongs against each sizzling steak in the pan. “If you want to get the salad out of the fridge, these’re almost ready.”

As I move away, I let my fingers trail across his back. When I return from the fridge with the large bowl in my hands, he’s staring at me, heat in his gaze. I rest my hand on his back and glance at Anika, who’s now engrossed in her phone.

Bending his head, he presses his lips to my forehead. “Damn, you smell good,” he murmurs as he puts his free arm around me and pulls me into his side.

“I don’t know how you can smell anything over these mouthwatering steaks, but I’ll take it.”

Reluctantly easing away, I try to concentrate on making drinks, but our gazes constantly clash with longing, our bodies brushing against each other for no reason whatsoever.

Anika suddenly announces, “I’m going out with my friends.”

I freeze mid-step, my eyes shooting to Gavin before I turn them on my sister. “Sorry?”

She glares at me. “Oh, so now you’re listening. Apparently, I’ve been talking to myself for the last couple of minutes.”

“You’re going out?” Gavin asks with a spark of hope as he plates up the steaks.

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Anika answers.

“Yeah, I’d fucking love that. How about you, Jamie?”

“I think it’d be great to catch up with some of your friends,” I encourage, knowing damn well she’s only baiting us because we were too caught up in each other to notice whatever it was she’d been saying.

“Well, there you go,” Gavin says, as if it’s all decided.

As I carry the drinks over to the dining table and Gavin follows with the steaks, Anika takes a seat. It’s not lost on me that this is the first time the table’s getting used for its intended purpose.

Because there’s an actual family here to use it.

“On second thought,” Anika says, stabbing a steak with her fork and plating it, “I think I should stay in. I mean, I only have two more nights here. I really should spend them with my new brother. And my sister, of course.” She nods enthusiastically.

“Yep, better to spend time with my brother and sister. That’s what families do, right? ”

“Please don’t say that,” I implore.

“Say what?” she asks innocently. “That I’m hanging out with my brother and sister? It’s the truth. You wouldn’t want me to lie, would you?”

I turn to Gavin. “Please make her stop.”

With an amused grin, he shrugs. “You’ve clearly raised a monster.”

She gives Gavin’s bicep a hard punch. “And don’t you forget it, bro .”

After dinner, Gavin and I relax on the couch in front of the TV while Anika stacks the dishwasher.

Before long, his arm curls around my shoulders and I find myself playing with the inseam of his jeans.

Two more nights, I tell myself. Two more nights and I’ll know what it feels like to have this man between my legs, thrusting—

“Move over,” Anika says, a bowl of ice cream in her hand, her butt positioned right between us and coming down fast. I scoot over, Gavin mirroring me just before she wedges herself in.

“That’s better. You know, I can really do without seeing my brother and sister getting all lovey-dovey with each other. It’s kinda ick.”

Gavin’s amused gaze connects with my horrified one before he turns his attention to Anika. “So, now I not only have to put up with a cheeky woman, I have to put up with a smartarse troublemaker as well?”