Page 61 of Into These Eyes

Jamie

A nika.

Shit!

As Gavin whips my dress over my thighs, I frantically cover my exposed breast. Holding the material tightly in place, I sit up, my head clearing the back of the couch.

Shrugging off a backpack, Anika stands in the hallway outside the laundry door, clearly having entered the house through the garage with her remote. Even if Gavin hadn’t silenced the garage door’s squeal, I doubt either of us would have heard it. We’d been a little too preoccupied.

When my sister’s eyes find mine, she smiles. “There you—” As her hand clamps over her mouth in surprise, I become aware of the emptiness at my side.

My eyes shoot to Gavin, now standing, his back to Anika while he quickly zips up his trousers and buckles his belt. Thank God we aren’t naked.

“Well, fuck,” Anika chuckles. “You didn’t get my messages?”

“Clearly not,” I reply, scooting off the couch to stand beside Gavin as he does up what’s left of his buttons.

“So, aren’t you going to introduce me?” Anika asks.

My heart pounds for an entirely different reason now. I haven’t told her a single thing about our father’s crimes, let alone the fact that Gavin’s living in my home. Our home. He’d been right to push me. I should have done it weeks ago. Now she’s here and I’ve totally fucked up.

Before I can formulate a sentence, Gavin turns around, giving Anika her first look at him.

She makes quick work of scanning his body. When her gaze settles on his face, she grins with appreciation. “Well look at you.” Her eyes flick to me. “Nice work, Jamie.”

Just like I hadn’t recognised him when I turned up at his caravan, neither does she.

I swallow over my closing throat. “Anika … this is Gavin Lake.”

It takes less than a second for the name to register. Eyes widening, her mouth drops open.

“ What the fuck?!” she shouts.

A completely reasonable reaction considering she believes the man standing at my side is our enemy.

At the time, she’d been too young to understand what happened to Mum, but as she grew up, I’d made sure she knew exactly who Gavin Lake was.

I even made up that obnoxious poem to teach her to hate him.

“It’s not what you think,” I blurt, knowing how pathetic that sounds, but I have to start somewhere.

“Oh? So you’re not fucking our mother’s killer?”

Gavin’s muscles tense against me where our arms touch.

“No, I’m not, Anika.” I release one of the hands holding my up dress and reach down, entwining my fingers with Gavin’s. “I have a lot to tell you, but right now, just know this … Gavin did not kill our mother.”

Anika’s eyes flick from me to Gavin. “Bullshit.”

“I know I should have told you sooner, but I—”

“Why the fuck are you still here?” Anika glares at Gavin, ice in her words. “Leave!”

His hand loosens in mine, but I hold on tight. “He’s not going anywhere. This is his home.”

“What?!” Anika stares daggers at him, then me.

I suddenly feel like the walls are closing in and there’s no escape from the escalating pressure to straighten out this mess I’ve caused.

“She’s right,” Gavin says, his attention on me. “Let me go for a walk while you two catch up.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I insist.

He squeezes my hand before releasing it. “I know. But it’s the right thing to do.” Shoving his feet in his shoes, he picks up his phone and keys. When he returns to me, he places a soft, reassuring kiss on my forehead.

“Seriously?” Anika shouts. “Fuck off!”

He flinches away.

“Anika!” I yell at her before turning to Gavin. “I’m sorry.”

Instead of the hurt and anger I expect to see, he gives me a lopsided smile and winks, telling me he’s okay. He understands.

“Text me,” he says softly, then strides toward the front door. Almost there, he swoops down and snatches something from the floor. I catch a glimpse of white lace as he shoves it in his pocket. My panties. Saving me the from the embarrassment of my sister finding them there, discarded and damp.

Anika’s glare follows him until he steps outside. The moment the door closes, marches to the back of the couch.

My heart sinks to the floor. This is all my fault.

I should have told her the day Dad died.

Putting it off has done nothing but hurt the two people I care about most. Although Gavin seems to have taken Anika’s abuse on the chin, it must have brought back memories of the hatred thrown at him all those years ago.

And now he’s out there, alone in the dark, unsure of what he’ll come back to. I absolutely hate myself right now.

“I’m sorry,” I say, desperately trying to blink back tears. “I should have told—”

“He lives here? What the fuck, Jamie? Have you lost your mind?”

“He’s my housemate.” Is that what he is? That sounds so wrong, so cold and detached.

“More like fuck-mate,” Anika spits. “What’s wrong with you? You hate his guts!”

I shake my head. “No, not anymore. I’ve screwed up, Ank. I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t want to upset you or disrupt your training.”

She looks into my eyes, and she must see something there that takes the wind out of her anger. Shoulders slumping, she asks, “What crazy shit’s happened now?”

“Let me get changed, and I’ll explain everything.”

Grabbing my phone from the kitchen, I turn it on and hurry into my room.

As I change, a surge of notifications ping from my phone.

Before I face Anika, I quickly check them, seeing I have three missed calls from her, then a message stating she’s on her way and a few more asking why I’m not answering.

And there’s one last message.

Gavin: Take as long as you need.

Smiling, I pocket the phone. The sooner I sort this out, the sooner he can come home.

Home .

My gut hollows, remembering Anika’s demand that he leave. I wonder if he feels like he even has a home anymore.

Steeling myself with a deep breath, I walk into the kitchen to find my sister sitting at the breakfast bar, a bottle of white wine on the counter with two full glasses waiting.

The sight is so unusual, I have to remind myself that she’s not a kid anymore.

Knowing her, she’s probably been getting drunk every weekend while at the academy.

She’s always had a wild streak in her I’ve never possessed.

Or had I been denied the chance to develop one?

I stand on the other side of the breakfast bar so I can face her. When she slides a glass of wine across to me, I take a sip, then a deep breath.

“Dad told me something earth-shattering just before he died,” I say, hoping to prepare her for the shock.

“What? That he couldn’t give a shit about me? I already know that.”

“Jesus, Ank. He loved you. He just—” I stop myself, hearing Gavin’s voice in my head. Your rules. No lying. “I honestly don’t know what was going on with him when it came to you. It makes no sense.”

She blinks in surprise. “Wow. No molly-coddling bullshit? That’s a first.” Taking a gulp of wine, she screws up her face and forces herself to swallow. “Whatever he said must’ve been some jaw-dropper.”

“Yeah, it was … is .” I take a deep breath. “Right before he passed, he told me … he killed Mum.”

Completely frozen, she stares at me. And I wait. I know all too well how difficult it is to digest this news. Then she slaps a hand on the counter and laughs. “Good one, Jamie.”

She’s in denial. I’ve never been one to joke. At least, not about something this serious. When I don’t crack a smile or look away, I watch it sink in.

Face slack with shock, she takes a long gulp of her wine. “Seriously?”

I nod, lean on the counter and tell her all the details of our father’s dying declaration, of tracking down Gavin, of taking Liam’s statement detailing what he saw that night and how it matched Gavin’s story.

Then I get out my laptop and sit beside her, my arm tight around her, feeling every emotional reaction in her body as we watch our father’s video.

“Fuck. Holy fucking fuck,” she mutters when we get to the end.

“That’s about the extent of it,” I agree.

Suddenly, she’s out of her chair and hugging me. I hold her for a long time as I run a soothing hand over her back.

“And you dealt with this all on your own?” she asks, the remorse thick in her words.

“Actually, no,” I admit, wanting to unburden her of the guilt she doesn’t deserve to carry. “I had all the support I needed.”

When she plops herself back on her stool, she takes a swallow of the wine she clearly hates.

“What’re you feeling?” I ask.

She lets out a huff. “So many things. But mainly … we finally have some answers.”

We sit in silence for a long while, sipping on our wine, contemplating.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come home for you when he passed,” she eventually says.

“I didn’t expect you to. And I didn’t want you to.”

“Well, I’m still sorry. I kinda lied to you. Truth is, I didn’t know how to deal with your grief over him. Because I felt nothing. And that made me feel like a truly shitty sister. So, instead of coming home after graduation, I hid down there with a bunch of mates … pretty much just to avoid you.”

I give her forearm an affectionate squeeze. “You are not a shitty sister, Ank. You’re entitled to feel however you want.”

Sighing heavily, she looks at me. “I just know, deep down, he never cared about me. And I know that because I had the perfect comparison. He loved the shit out of you.” She takes a few deep breaths.

“Is it wrong that this news is a relief? I’m sorry, but he was a fucking prick.

What he did to Mum … At least I don’t have to feel bad for not liking him anymore. ”

“Good,” I say, and mean it. “You shouldn’t have to go through life with that burden. Needless to say, I have my own issues to work through. Mainly the fact that he lied to us, and let an innocent man go to prison in his place.”

“Ugh, fuck,” Anika groans, slumping over the counter and burying her face in the crook of her elbow. “And I told him to fuck off.”

I give her back a comforting rub. “Good news is, he’ll be the one trying to put you at ease about that. He’s kind of … amazing.”

Her head snaps up, her gaze pinning me. “What’s going on there, Jamie?”

“Well, once I knew he was innocent, I told him I’d get his conviction overturned.

It was a bit iffy until Dad’s video turned up.

At least that’s one thing our father did right in the end.

I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to pull it off.

The thought of not being able to give him his life back … well, it’ll happen now.”

She nods thoughtfully as she takes another sip of wine. “Okay, I get that. But why’s he living here?”

I’ve learnt my lesson. Withholding the truth hurts just as much as outright lying. “Someone threatened me.”

“What?”

“It was just an anonymous note, telling me to back off,” I say offhandedly, not wanting to draw attention to my suspicion that it’s related to clearing Gavin’s name.

I know she’ll only worry, and I’m not backing off, no matter what anyone says.

Besides, as Pete pointed out, I have no proof it’s anything to do with that.

“It freaked me out a little, and … well, Gavin was living in a horrible caravan, and he’s big and strong, and I was alone in the house, and it just made sense,” I blurt.

“For both of us. He makes me feel safe. And there’s been no more threats since. ”

“Fuck, Jamie. And you didn’t tell me?”

“What could you have done except worry? And you were so close to finishing Session Two at the academy. I wasn’t going to let anything distract you from that.”

She rolls her eyes and gives me an exaggerated sigh. “So typical of you.”

I grin and we both take another drink.

“So, he went from bodyguard to boyfriend?” she asks. “Not that I blame you. He’s hot as fuck.”

I choke on my wine. With great pleasure, Anika thumps my back until I stop. After a moment, I manage to get out, “I … I don’t know.”

“You don’t know if he’s hot, or if he’s your boyfriend?”

“Of course I know he’s hot.”

Anika scoffs. “He’s sleeping in your bed, right?”

Heat crawls up my face. I suppose if I’d had relationships throughout my time raising Anika, I wouldn’t feel so awkward discussing this with her. But this is new territory. “No, he’s in the spare room. I … tonight’s the first time we’ve … started getting closer.”

“And I interrupted?”

“Yes, you absolutely did.” I turn in my chair, take her hand in mine and look into her amused eyes.

“When he comes back … when he comes home , I want you to treat him with the respect he deserves. As a man who’s spent almost half his life in a cell because of our father.

As a man who I think really cares about me.

As the awesome fucking guy he is.” To my surprise, I feel tears sliding down my cheeks.

Anika shifts in her seat, looks around me, then behind her, as if searching for something.

“What?” I ask, confused.

“I’m just wondering where my sister is. Because she never cries. Especially not over a guy .”

Embarrassed, I swipe at the tears. “You’ve got no idea.

I’ve cried more in his company than I have since Mum died.

And he never once made me feel embarrassed or awkward.

When I’m with him, I can just be me. I don’t have to hide what I’m feeling or pretend to be strong.

He makes me feel …” I trail off, my heart suddenly announcing itself in my chest.

“Loved?” Anika offers, squeezing my hand.

I swallow, more tears breaching the dam wall. And I nod.

Her face breaks into a huge grin. “Holy fuck . You’re in love with him!”

Then she’s out of her seat and hugging me so hard I can barely breathe.

When she lets go, her eyes shine with tears. Tears she’s usually as good as I am at holding back.

“So, you two haven’t slept together yet?” she asks.

“No.”

“And he’s been locked up for how long?”

“Sixteen years.”

“And you’ve had how many boyfriends in that time?”

I don’t like this line of questioning, but I indulge her. “None.”

She nods, her gaze locking on her almost empty wine glass as she twirls it around and around, deep in thought.

Finally, she looks at me. “Well, it’s late.

The ghosts of the past aren’t going anywhere, so let’s get your man back here and figure things out.

We’re gonna need some ground rules while I’m here, since this’s my house too, right? ”

I nod immediately, not wanting to even give her an inkling of what our father’s will says. “Rules?” I ask.

“Yep. Pretty much the rules you instated when I started getting interested in guys.”

Oh, shit.