Page 3 of Into These Eyes

Jamie

I stand in the doorway of my parents’ bedroom and watch my mother, Matilda.

Mattie to everyone who knows her. She sits at her dressing table in a silk robe, hair freshly blow dried into a new, elegant style she’s adopted lately.

At thirty-four, she’s stunning. If I look as good as she does when I’m her age, I’ll be pretty freaking happy.

I suppose it doesn’t hurt that there’s only eighteen years between us.

At seventeen, Mum accidentally found herself pregnant with me. My dad had done the honourable thing and married her, and against all odds, they’re still together.

Now that I’m only a year away from seventeen, I find it impossible to imagine myself in the same situation.

I’m in awe of Mum having the strength to handle such a life-altering event.

I only care about which boys I like at school, what to wear each day and what party I’ll be allowed to attend next.

The thought of raising a baby sends chills down my spine.

Though I’m sure I’ll want one in the future, now definitely isn’t that time.

“Jamie, honey? What’re you doing there?”

I snap out of my thoughts and catch Mum’s eye in the mirror. Remembering what brought me here in the first place, I sigh, stomp into the room and flop on my parents’ bed.

“Anika again,” I grumble.

Mum’s shoulders slump a little as she applies foundation. “What’s she done now?”

“I’m so sick of her going into my room. Why can’t she get it through her head that she’s not allowed in there?”

Mum blends the foundation onto her face, then picks up some powder. “She’s two, Jamie. That’s why.”

“I know, but—”

“Hey, hon,” Dad says, winking at me as he saunters in. Crossing the room, he stops behind Mum and places a sweet kiss on her neck.

Whenever they’re affectionate with each other, I get a warm, gooey feeling.

The way they’re so happy together makes me feel safe and loved.

I can’t imagine them ever divorcing like so many of my friends’ parents.

No, mine are the exception. They might have ruined my standards, though.

I’m not sure I’ll ever find a man who’ll love me the way Dad loves Mum.

Straightening, he gently squeezes her shoulder as he gazes at her reflection. “You look amazing, Mattie. Seems every time one of these girls’ nights comes around, you look more beautiful, more alive. Kinda makes me want to tag along.”

“That’s sweet of you to say,” Mum laughs, “but I really doubt you want to be around a bunch of gossiping women.”

He drops a kiss on top of her head. “You’re probably right. So, you’ll be home at the usual time?”

“Yep,” Mum answers, watching him in the mirror. “Unless you need me back earlier?”

Dad shakes his head vigorously. “The kids and I are in the swing of things now. We can handle one or two nights a week without you. Right, Jamie?”

I grin. “I don’t think so. You’ve been like a lost puppy the last couple of times.”

Dad rushes me, catching me in a playful headlock. I squeal with laughter as he tickles my side. “Take it back!”

Barely able to get my breath, I shriek, “Okay! Okay!”

Knowing I hate it, he ruffles my hair.

“Dad!”

Grinning like an idiot, he backs toward the door. “Oh, by the way, can you clean up Anika? She’s got black marker all over her face.”

“Can’t you do it?” I ask, wanting to talk to Mum.

He gives me a quick shrug before disappearing down the hallway. It drives me crazy the way he never helps with my sister. Mum doesn’t like it either, but she never calls him out on it. Which pisses me off even more.

She turns to me, an eyebrow raised. “Black marker?”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you. She went into my room— without permission—and got my eyeliner. She scribbled all over herself and somehow managed to break it in half. It’s not fair that she gets to destroy my things. Can I pleeeease have a lock on my door?”

“Come here.”

I reluctantly rise and shuffle over. She plucks a black eyeliner from her own makeup collection and hands it to me.

“That’s not the point,” I say, but take it. “Anika gets away with everything.”

“Because she’s two.”

I let out a small huff. Smiling up at me, Mum gives my arm a comforting rub.

“I know it’s not easy being sixteen and having to deal with a toddler. But Ank loves you. She thinks you’re the best, the most special person in the world. Sometimes, I get jealous of how much she adores you.”

“That’s stupid.” Though I’ll never admit it, that feels kind of good.

Mum squeezes my arm. “Just think about it, Jamie. In a few years, you’ll be off to university.

Ank will only be four. She’s going to miss you so much.

So, for now, just forgive her. No matter how old we are, we all make mistakes.

It’s part of life. What doesn’t have to be part of it, is holding a grudge, especially against someone who’s family.

It’s no good for the person you’re accusing, and it’s especially not good for you. ”

“Fine,” I sigh.

“Good. Now, do you mind going and checking on her?”

“Okay … but Mum?” I ask, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “You know what’d be really nice? If you, me and Anika had our own girls’ night.”

She smiles. “That’s a good idea, hon. But tonight, it’s adult time. I need a break too, and having a laugh with other women, well, it just detangles me. You understand, don’t you?”

I shrug. “I guess.” Hanging out with my best friends is a huge part of my life. How can I deny Mum the same thing?

“But what about Saturday mornings?” she asks.

“Huh?”

“Instead of a girls’ night, we could have a girls’ morning. We can cook pancakes in our pjs, do each other’s hair and fingernails. What do you say?”

I grin. “Mum, we’ve always done that.”

She gives me a playful frown. “We have?”

From the time I started forming memories, Saturday mornings were amongst some of the best. In a rush of emotion, I hug her. “You’re pretty cool.”

“Whoa, that certainly means something coming from a teenager.” She pulls back and touches my face. “I’m proud of you, Jamie. You’re turning into a wonderful woman. Just … open your heart, okay? Forgiveness is a powerful thing.”

My mood lighter, I nod, then head out to find Anika. As annoying as my sister is, I do love her. And when I leave home, I know I’ll miss the little cutie.