Page 35 of Into These Eyes

Our eyes hold and, to my surprise, she turns her hand, wraps her fingers around mine and squeezes.

I squeeze back, and we sit like that, staring at each other, neither knowing what to say or do next.

All I know is that her clutching fingers, her palm against mine, fills me with warmth and comfort.

Her affection makes me feel like I’m more than a waste of space.

It makes me feel like I matter to someone.

And that person happens to be the very one I want to mean something to.

Her fingers twitch around mine as that elusive look in her eyes flashes to the surface again.

“You’re a good friend. To Benny … and to me,” she says softly.

For a long moment, I’m completely dumbfounded. Jamie Evans sees me as a friend? A good friend. Not just someone she’s taken pity on or feels indebted to. “Yeah,” I croak, then clear my throat. “Ah, you too.”

Fuck. I need to do a hell of a lot better than that. I need to be that good friend.

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” I say, watching her eyes skitter away from mine.

“It’s fine. It’s nothing,” she says too quickly.

Brushing my thumb over her fingers, I lean forward and wait until she looks at me. “You just said I’m a good friend, and now you’re trying to hide something from me? Remember what we agreed? No lying.”

“I really should leave,” she mumbles, yet her grip on my hand doesn’t loosen. “But you’re right. There’s something … though now that you’ve given me a satisfactory reason as to why you can’t—”

“Jamie. What is it?” I interrupt, all too aware of the tremor in her hand.

Hesitant, she bites her lip as she thinks. “I really hoped you’d accept my offer, but the thought of going home without telling you … you should know … in case anything happens. It’s just … I didn’t want you to think I only offered my house to you because of this.”

My heart jolts. “Because of what?”

I miss her touch the moment she slides her hand from mine. Then she reaches into her handbag and pulls out a piece of paper. Unfolding it, she places it on the table between us.

BaCK OfF BiTCH

I stare at the crude, cliched letters cut from a magazine.

“When I got home, that was under my door.”

And now I know what that elusive look is.

Fear.

When I glance up, she won’t meet my eyes. “Jamie …”

“I think I fucked up,” she whispers.

I’m stunned into silence for a moment. “How is this you fucking up? Do you know who did this?”

Her eyes flick to mine for a second before they focus on the threat again. “I’m not a hundred percent sure … I could be wrong. It could be a threat from someone I’m trying to convict in court. But, I don’t … no one like that should know where I live.”

“So, you’ve got a theory?”

She nods. “That’s the fucking up part.”

Christ. A long, low rumble of thunder vibrates through the caravan. I want to hold her hand again, but she’s hidden them under the table.

“The night I got drunk, before I went out … I rang Detective Reid.”

Hearing his name on her lips again contracts every muscle in my body.

I put my own hands under the table before I smash something and terrify her.

I prefer she doesn’t witness the hatred that lives dormant inside me until his name is mentioned.

Not after the fear I saw in her eyes last time it snuck out.

“What made you call him?” I simply ask.

When she finally meets my eyes, hers widen.

Her posture straightens. She even leans back a little.

She sees it. I can’t hide it no matter how hard I try.

It’s in my body, my eyes, my soul. And she sees right into me.

She came here asking for my help because she’s scared. Now I’m the one she’s afraid of.

But she doesn’t run away. She sits there and faces me.

“It’s just … my father always thought he was a great guy.

” She scoffs at the irony of that statement.

“I thought he should know that Dad had died … and about his confession.” She swallows, glances at the threat, then back at me.

“I … You have to remember, when I called him, I had no idea I was talking to a man who deliberately buried a crucial witness. I believed I was talking to a man who’d simply missed something, who’d made a mistake.

I thought he’d want to right that wrong. ”

My fingers almost tear off my kneecaps. “And what did he have to say?”

“He thought my father must have been delirious. He reminded me that I sat through the trial and saw what the jury saw.”

Jesus, I wouldn’t mind betting she’d felt sorry for the fucker. Sorry that he’d have to own up to a mistake. No wonder she froze that day I told her about Liam.

I need to hit something, move, run, expend this energy that desperately needs out. Instead, I stare at the piece of paper between us for a long moment.

When I lift my gaze to hers, I see a strong, independent woman who’s afraid to go home. It twists my gut, and the need to protect her becomes so strong, it overpowers the hatred.

“So, you think Reid put this under your door.” It’s not a question.

“I can’t be sure. But he knows where I live. And that I know he screwed up. I never told him I was planning on doing anything about it. But … when he told me to put it behind me, I hung up on him. Then I blocked his number.”

“Fuck.” I slide out from behind the table, take one stride over to the sink and grip the warm stainless-steel. Letting my head drop, I take deep breaths. I need to calm the fuck down.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“I’m not angry with you,” I grit out, rubbing at the back of my neck. “It’s … him . It’s me .”

“You?”

“If it’s Reid, then I’m the reason for that threat. Because you’re helping me .”

“Don’t you dare say that,” she snaps.

As I stare through the grimy window, I hear her moving behind me.

“I should never have told you. You don’t need this on top of everything else.” Her vulnerable tone doesn’t just tug at my heart, but threatens to rip it from my chest.

I turn to find her standing a foot away, her shoes on, handbag over her shoulder, the menacing note nowhere to be seen.

She’s leaving.

Ready to return home. Alone. Where she doesn’t feel safe.

Every molecule, every cell, every beat of my heart demands I go with her, protect her.

But the memory of Benny’s reaction when I revealed I wanted to put his plan on hold surfaces with a sting.

He needs my support and loyalty. And if that involves being here for him every day, well, I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

But how do I choose between the man who taught me how to survive on the inside and the woman who wants to give me my life back on the outside?

Thunder cracks overhead, startling us both.

With her gaze firmly plastered to my chest, she says, “I better get going before the rain hits.” Then she’s gone, the door slapping shut behind her.

I stare at the empty space she occupied, my heart caught in a vice, my gut in knots. I’ve hurt her, let her down, right after she called me her friend. She hadn’t even wanted to tell me that what she really needs is my protection.

Bolting out the door, I catch up to her short but fast strides. Thunder booms overhead again, the downdraft swirling up dust, leaves and the odd bit of rubbish. When I place my hand on the small of her back, she speeds up. I’d like to think it’s to avoid the storm, but I know the truth.

“Jamie. Wait.”

She doesn’t stop. As her car comes into view, she reaches into her handbag. Her vehicle’s mirrors glide out and the indicators light up in the descending darkness.

As she wrenches the door open, I slam it shut and place both hands on the window, caging her in. She whirls around, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her back pressed against the car.

Lightning flashes. Her eyes flare with defiance, the tension between us crackling with as much energy as the approaching storm.

“Jamie, don't—”

“I’ll be fine. More than likely it was just neighbourhood kids having some fun.”

“You don’t believe that.” It’s only now I realise how close I am to her, how menacing I must appear. Fuck . I’m doing a great job of making her feel safe.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “I’ve looked after myself my whole life. This is no different. I’ll be fine.” She stares up at me, waiting. When I don’t move, she places a tentative hand in the middle of my chest and adds a little pressure. “Gavin, I need to go.”

Not wanting to add to her distress, I take a step away. She quickly turns and opens the door. Before she can slip inside, I wrap my hand around her firm little bicep. She freezes.

“Promise me something.” She’s stiff as a board but doesn’t pull away. “Give me a little time. Don’t go home until you hear from me.”

Beneath my fingers I detect the slightest relaxation in her muscle. When she gives a slight nod, I release her.

Once her car disappears, I remind myself that last time I asked her to promise me something, she kept her word. All I can do is trust she’ll keep this one, too.

By the time I’m inside Benny’s caravan, the first fat raindrops tink against the thin metal.

Pacing back and forth in the tiny space, I quickly explain Jamie’s visit. When I finally calm down enough to stop moving, Benny cocks his head. And smirks.

“I don’t see how any of that’s amusing,” I grit out as I take the seat across from him.

“For someone who’s s’posed to be smart, you’re as thick as a fuckin’ brick.”

“What the hell’re you talking about?”

He leans forward, eyes sparkling. “Let’s go back to before she told ya about the threatenin’ letter for a second. So, she comes to ya, offerin’ a place to live, ‘cause she doesn’t think ya deserve to live like this.” He gestures around the caravan. “And she just hoped ya’d take her up on it?”

“And I told her why I can’t do that.”

“Ha! Usin’ me as an excuse. Pathetic.”

“You’re not an excuse.”

Waving a dismissive hand in the air, he continues. “ Dickhead, she wants you.”

I let out a harsh scoff. That’s not what she’d been thinking.

“Fine,” he says, leaning back. “Guess women these days think nothin’ of askin’ ex-cons to come live in their homes. Yeah, I’m the idiot here. Not the dummy sittin’ across from me who told her no .”

I drop my head in my hands and fist my fingers in my hair.

The thought of abandoning him gnaws at my gut, but if I tell him that, he’ll feel like a burden, and I knows that’s the last thing he wants.

I want to tell him what he means to me, but he’s from an era where men don’t reveal how much they appreciate one another, so I keep my mouth shut.

He doesn’t.

“If the threat’s from Reid, how’re ya gonna feel if he does somethin’ to her?”

My head snaps up. He looks me dead in the eye and raises his eyebrows.

Fuck.

He doesn’t need to say another word. He knows me too well.

Even though I’ve lied to Benny about the plan to kill Reid, if that prick tries to harm a hair on her head, he will be a dead man.