Page 51 of Into These Eyes

“You can’t work in criminal law and not know that. It’s just, you don’t expect it from the people closest to you. That’s when it hurts. And I refuse to let him wound Anika ever again.”

Taking a deep breath, I squeeze his hand, telling him without words that I appreciate his comfort.

Then I fold the will and slide it back inside the packet.

Only it stops halfway. Withdrawing it, I squeeze the edges of the packet until it yawns open.

Inside, there’s another, smaller envelope.

Shaking the packet upside down, the envelope drops to the counter.

When I pick it up, it appears to be empty.

I quick glance at Gavin confirms he’s as curious as I am. It’s not uncommon for people to leave personal notes or letters for loved ones with their will, but as I turn it over in my hand, it has no thickness, no weight to it.

Until I feel a small, hard object in the corner of the envelope.

Tearing it open, I upend it.

A micro-SD card bounces on the stone counter.

“What the hell?” I mutter, picking it up and turning it over between my thumb and forefinger.

Heart thudding in my chest, my eyes meet Gavin’s.

He looks from me to the SD card and back again. “What do you think’s on it?”

“Maybe his reason for not including Anika? Let’s find out.”

I grab my laptop, bring it over to the breakfast bar and start it up. After inserting the SD card in the slot, Gavin rises.

“I should give you some privacy.”

As he takes a step away, I grab his arm. “Stay. Please.”

Slowly, he sits back down.

On the screen, the contents of the SD card pop up. A single video file. That’s not what I’d been expecting. A Word document or a PDF would have been my guess. The only name assigned to the video is a date. A week after my father’s cancer diagnosis.

Positioning the curser over the file, I double click.

Footage of the empty barstool I’m currently sitting on fills the screen. After a moment, a hand comes into view and swivels the chair to the side.

My father sits down and stares into the camera.

I gasp and hit the spacebar, pausing it.

Seeing him again stirs up completely different emotions compared to watching the family videos. Those were memories. This most certainly isn’t. Fear grips me. I’m not sure I can handle yet another shock. Not tonight.

“Jamie,” Gavin says beside me, “this is private. I should—”

I grab his hand, my eyes locking with his. “Don’t you dare go anywhere. I can’t watch this alone. I need you.”

He swallows hard as his grip on my hand loosens. For a terrifying moment, I think he’s going to leave anyway. Then his fingers slip between mine and hold on tight. Profound relief sweeps through me. Having him here, having his support right now, makes me feel fiercely cared for.

“Whenever you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere,” he assures me, his thumb softly stroking over mine. “Not unless you want me to. Okay?”

I nod, turn my attention back to the laptop, and hesitate. This video might hold answers. But it could also hold more devastation.

“Anytime it gets too hard,” Gavin says, “you can stop. Remember that.”

When he gently squeezes my hand, I find the strength to hit the spacebar.

My father’s eyes dart about the screen for a moment before he takes a deep breath.

“Jamie,” he says, looking straight at me, “if you’re watching this, I’m finally gone. And I’m glad.” He shifts on the stool, looks off to the side and shakes his head before he focuses on the camera again. “Damn this’s harder than I thought. Even though I’ve been over it a million times.”

Dropping his head in his hands, he fists his fingers in his hair for a long moment.

My heart thunders against my chest as I tighten my grip on Gavin’s hand. Hope flares through my entire body. If this is what I think it is …

Dad’s head jerks up, his face determined.

“Right. Gotta get this over with. I hope I got the chance to tell you the truth face-to-face, or this’ll be a shock.

But, because I’m a coward, I’m recording it as a guarantee, in case I leave it too late.

If I haven’t told you, Jamie, I’m sorry for what you’re about to hear.

Either way, you'll have questions. Here are the answers, as I see them, anyway.

“I fell for your mother from the moment I saw her in primary school, but she didn't love me. Over time, we became best friends, but she never looked at me the way I wanted.

“Then, when we were sixteen, a new guy started at our school. He was a few years older than us, in his final year. Well, she fell madly in love with him, and of course, I was jealous. He stole all the looks I wanted from her. He stole all the kisses that should have been mine. When he was around, I didn’t exist. He was everything and I was nothing.

“And then something incredible happened. Six months after his arrival, he left. Apparently, he’d just found out his ex-girlfriend from his old school was about to have his baby.

“While your mother was devasted, I was thrilled.

It brought her straight back to me. For almost a year I comforted her, supported her through the initial dark days, her sorrow, then her acceptance that he wasn't coming back. We grew closer than ever, but I knew her heart still belonged to him. Even though he broke her, she admired the fact that he took ownership of his responsibilities.”

He glances away from the camera for a moment, a look of shame clouding his expression as he stares at me again.

“So, when she finally gave in to me, I knew she’d also take ownership of her responsibilities.

“I sabotaged the birth control we were using and got her pregnant. I trapped her. I needed a guarantee that she wouldn't leave me.

“I’ll never regret what I did. She loved you so much, she forgot all about him and devoted herself to being the wife I wanted and the mother you needed. For thirteen years, we had the perfect family.

“Until they met again. Both of them married, both of them parents, both of them cheating liars.

“But like the fool I was, when it all fell apart again, I took her back. I believed her when she told me she made a mistake. I believed her promises that she’d never see him again. That she'd never leave me.

“I believed her for three years. Then I found a letter she’d written to you.

“And I snapped. She was seeing him again. And this time, he was free. And she was planning on leaving me. Leaving us , Jamie.

“I followed her for almost a month. She wasn't going to her girls' nights out anymore. She wasn't out shopping during the day or taking care of the house. She was meeting him. And planning.

“So, I started planning too. I learnt the routine of her deceit.

“If we couldn't have her, no one could.

“So, that last night, I knew where she was going. I sent you upstairs to give your sister a bath. I used the golf course to get to his house before she did. I knew I could kill her and be back home again without you even knowing I’d left the house.

“I stabbed Matilda Evans. I took her life in a fit of rage so great, I didn’t even care what happened to me. Of course, it wasn’t until after I got home and calmed down that I realised the fate you and your sister would face if I was caught.

“When Reid rang our doorbell, the horror of what I'd done to you almost destroyed me.

“You can imagine my relief when he said they had the killer in custody. It was too easy. All I had to do was let someone else take the blame to keep you girls safe.

“When I found out who that someone was—his son—I knew it was meant to be. It takes two to have an affair, to cheat on the ones who love you, to destroy them. So, I went along with it, knowing I was taking his son from him. Tit for tat. That’s how I justified it.

“It’s fucking shameful. And, Jamie, I never got away with it. It ate at me, gnawed at me, haunted me every waking moment and, when I could get to sleep, it turned my dreams into nightmares.

“What I did to your mother, and you girls, and that boy, is unforgivable. So, when the cancer diagnosis came, I wasn't surprised. I deserve it. I don't know how quickly it’ll take me. Hopefully, it’ll be fast..

“I'm so sorry for what I've done to you girls. And I don't just mean taking your mother from you, but for everything your lives became after that, for everything they could have been, but weren't. I'm sorry.

“And I'm sorry about that boy. I'm sorry I put false hate in your heart. None of this is his fault. He was caught in the crosshairs of a jealous, vengeful man who didn't learn what love meant until it was too late.

“Loving her meant I should have let her go. I should have wanted her to be happy. I should have put her first.

“My beautiful girl, I know you'll do the right thing by that boy.

You might think you became a lawyer because of what happened to your mother, but maybe freeing him is your real purpose.

Tell my story and get him out of that hellhole.

Clear his name. I know you can't give him back what I took, but you can give him the chance at a new life.

I know you, Jamie, so I know you'll do what's right. There's no doubt in my mind.”

He takes a deep breath, drags a hand down his face and stares at me.

“I mentioned a letter from your mother. I kept it from you and your sister to save our family. Now I’m gone, it’s yours.

But I want you to read it together. You’ll need each other.

Anika knows where it is. Just remind her of the time she caught me hiding my cigarettes. She'll know. The code is 4778.

“I don't deserve your forgiveness, so I won't ask for it.”

He pauses for a long moment, tears welling in his eyes until they escape and flow down his cheeks.

“I can only hope that one day you'll think of me, and remember something good.”

He leans forward and ends the video.

Stunned, I sit back.

Gavin’s suspicions about his motives were spot on. Everything we’d figured out matched my father’s recount of the events. I know I’ll have to view his confession multiple times for everything else to sink in, but one thing—the most important thing—is crystal clear.

Gavin squeezes my hand, and I realise I’m holding onto his so tightly it hurts. Extracting my fingers, I turn to face him, my chin trembling. I want to smile, but those muscles don’t seem to be working.

He reaches out and grazes a thumb over my cheek, his eyes full of compassion. “Come here,” he murmurs, placing his hand on my shoulder and gently pulling me toward him.

I slip off my stool and fling my arms around his neck, crashing against his chest. The moment his arms encircle me, I let the happiness override everything else. Burying my face in the curve of his neck, I half-laugh, half-sob with relief.

“Jesus, that can’t have been easy,” he says close to my ear as he rubs my back. “But I’ve got you.”

Realising he doesn’t understand the significance of what we just watched, I take a deep breath and pull away enough so I can grip his shoulders. “And now I’ve got you. Oh, my God, have I got you.”

His blue eyes bore into mine, something simmering within them that has my heart skipping a beat. Then my words register. Heat burns my cheeks. I quickly let go of his shoulders and slide back onto my stool. And laugh. Maybe a little hysterically, but I can’t help it.

“I mean,” I say, getting control of myself, “we have exactly what we need now.” I glance at the computer, then back at him. But from the look on his face, he still doesn’t understand. He should be grinning from ear to ear, not looking like I’ve just crushed him.

“Jamie … that must have hurt—”

“No! Don’t you get it? This confession is everything. His motive, how he did it, why he let you take the blame. That video is your freedom.”

As I grab his hands and squeeze, trying to emphasise the point, I see the moment his focus shifts, the moment it dawns on him.

His eyes brighten with hope just a moment before he looks down at our hands.

Letting out a scoff of disbelief, he shakes his head.

When he meets my gaze, that sexy grin spreads his lips and sparkles in his eyes.

“You really think so?” he asks, his thumbs brushing back and forth over my knuckles.

“There’s not a single doubt. We just watched your ticket to the rest of your life.”

“Jesus,” he murmurs.

“It’s really going to happen, Gavin. It’s not just a hope or wishful thinking or a maybe anymore. It’s an absolute, a foregone conclusion. I’m so, so happy for you!”

Tears pool in his eyes, then spill down his cheeks. After a long moment, he releases my hands and swipes them away. On a shuddering breath, he asks, “So, what happens next?”

“Well, apart from making a million copies of that video so it doesn’t mysteriously disappear, we need to finish your affidavit.

Liam’s coming into the office to sign his tomorrow.

” The excitement at having irrefutable evidence dampens when I remember my promise to Pete.

I hesitate a moment, then say, “The courts close in a few days for Christmas, so we won’t make the deadline. ”

“Good. You need to get some rest.”

I’d love to do just that, but I’d rather get it finished so it’s ready the moment Pete gives me the go-ahead. “I’m fine. Just because we have to delay a little, doesn’t mean we can’t get everything prepared.”

“Jamie …”

“No. We should do it now.” I turn to the computer, open Gavin’s affidavit and scroll down to where we stopped last time. That’s when I remember why I’ve been putting off going further. Now that we have my father’s confession, I need to face what I’ve been avoiding.

It’s better to know the truth than keep wondering. No matter how painful it might be. And Gavin’s the only one who can tell me what I’ve dreaded knowing since the moment I was told of my mother’s murder.