Page 50 of Infinite as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #3)

Sawyer

The was nothing worse than knowing Holly was sad.

When those Bambi eyes got all filled with doubt, when her lips were trembling as she held back a sigh, when her hands rubbed at her arms like she needed someone to hold her.

It should have been me doing that. Should have been me keeping her close to me, my arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. That was my job.

“So many fuckin’ stairs,” I muttered to myself, moving up the steps of Holly’s parents’ place.

I had finally made it back to Highland Park, back to the place I never belonged to and never would.

It had taken me a few hours and now the late afternoon sun sat high in the sky.

I would have liked to get back to Holly earlier, but thanks to my damn truck, I had no choice but to deal with an accidental pit stop.

That accidental pit stop had led me to something important, though.

Something that made my heart get all warm as I remembered how the rest of the day had gone after I stumbled upon that house.

My hand pushed into my jeans pocket, my fingers meeting that jagged, borderline rusted key.

Finally, I made it to the top of the steps, my hand raised into a fist in front of the big front doors.

I was just about to bang on them when they opened up.

It was Holly’s dad staring back at me, a heavy breath leaving him.

I waited for it. For him to tell me to fuck off, for him to say Holly didn’t want to see me, for him to throw some insult my way that he hadn’t used in a while.

Instead, he stepped to the side, holding the door open for me. “I had a feeling you’d be showing up,” he said. “Holly’s here.”

My eyes flew to the stairs behind him. “Can I—”

“You and me need to have a talk before you see her.”

Letting out a long breath, I nodded. “Right.”

He let me in, shutting the door behind us.

My eyes kept landing on that staircase in the distance, so tempted to run up them and find Holly and hold her and tell her everything.

Most importantly, to let her know that I would stop keeping so many secrets.

But her dad gestured for me to follow him through the doorway and to one of the many living rooms the Suttons seemed to have.

The living room was just as extravagant as the last time I was in it.

Arched windows that let me catch a glimpse of their fountain out the front, that big ass grand piano to my left that I was pretty sure no one actually touched, the chandelier that hung above.

It was all cream-colored walls with that fancy molding detailing that covered the high ceiling, perfectly and pristinely chiseled.

I was out of my element. This was Holly’s natural environment, not mine.

I always felt like I was going to get the damn place dirty whenever I stepped inside one of the million rooms they had.

Her dad gestured to one of the couches in the room, and I took a seat against the soft, white fabric with a sigh.

I hated the idea of sitting or staying still.

Not just because of that long drive, but because of how I was itching to hold Holly.

I needed to run up those stairs and find her and hold her close to me, but I followed his instructions.

He took a seat across from me, my shoe thumping against his fancy rug that stretched out across half the damn floor.

“That must have been a long drive,” her dad finally said. “All the way from Austin, right?”

I nodded, eyes falling to the doorway like I’d see Holly there. “Yeah, it took a while.”

“Holly got a flight. She’s been here for a little while now. I didn’t think that road trip of yours would finish up so early. ”

“A lot of things happened along the way that weren’t meant to happen.”

He nodded, lips pressed together. “Holly’s upset. There’s nothing I hate more than seeing my daughter upset. It breaks my heart seeing her sad.”

I exhaled sharply. “Yeah, mine breaks too.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

My hands pushed through my hair, head shaking as I remembered it all. The lies. That hurt look on her face. That strained tone in her sweet voice. “I had it all planned out.”

“ It being what exactly?”

“I’m tryna do everything I can to make sure I keep Holly looked after. To keep her safe and happy and loved. I guess I got a little too in my head about it all. I kinda have a habit of getting in my head about Holly all the time…”

Slowly, his brows pulled together. “I don’t understand.”

“A house,” I whispered, peering over my shoulder just in case. I still wanted it to be a surprise. “Our home. For us. Forever. Here in Texas, so she can be close to you guys, and because that was what she told me a few years ago. That she wanted to live somewhere quiet. Where she can see the sky.”

That had him sitting up a little straighter. “That’s what you’ve been doing? I thought you were on a road trip.”

“We were. We are. We…” I sighed. “I don’t know. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I didn’t think it’d be this hard.”

“What happened?”

“My mom.”

Worry flashed behind his eyes, and I didn’t ever think I’d see that from him. “Holly told me about her. How is she?”

“She’s good. I bumped into her. Well, I bumped into my brother. I have one of those apparently. Kinda sent the whole road trip idea a little upside down.”

“But she’s okay? She’s in a good spot now?”

I nodded. “She got married again. Kurt’s a good guy. Gentle. Patient. That’s what she deserves after my dad. She deserves someone who’ll treat her good and keep her safe.”

“I’m glad she’s doing good. ”

“Finding her kinda put things on pause. I’m really happy I found her, though.

And my brother. Holly was the only reason I could do any of that.

She always gets me through the hard things.

And you know, I had it all worked out in my head, but planning stuff with Holly doesn’t always go as how I imagined it in my head, and finding a house is a hell of a lot harder than I thought. ”

“Holly doesn’t know about this at all? The home?”

“No, I wanted to surprise her, but that meant keeping secrets, and keeping secrets kinda came back to bite me in the ass. Holly just…” My hands rubbed over my face.

“I’m so in love with her. I fall more in love with her every day.

It’s so easy, too. Every little thing she does makes me love her more.

The way her eyes light up when she smiles, how warm her laugh sounds, the way she looks at me when I paint her.

All of it. And I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Wouldn’t ever wanna do this with anyone but her.

It’s her . Holly is it for me. When I think about the future, it’s her in my head.

It’s her I wake up to, her I hold, her I love until the day I die, but Christ , they really need to make an instruction manual for falling in love with a rich girl. ”

He chuckled. “I suppose it’s not easy.”

“I wouldn’t change it, though. I wouldn’t ever change a thing, except for me being so damn stupid for so long when we weren’t getting along.

If I could go back in time and fix that, I would in a second flat, but everything else?

It’s all been worth it, because I get her, and all I want is her,” I said, letting my head roll back against the couch, my eyes finding all that perfectly crafted detailing against the ceiling once more, all rounded, intricate lines.

“I love everything about her, and I want that forever. I love that I get to wake up to her, even if all her hair ends up in my mouth every time ‘cause it’s so damn long, ‘cause that just means I got to fall asleep with her the night before. I love that even when we go to bed so far apart from each other, she still somehow ends up back in my arms, like she was meant for me and I was meant for her. I love that I get to paint her, that I get to stare at her and look at every detail, that I get to look at the most beautiful girl in the world every single day and have the chance to make her there on the canvas. And no matter what, no matter how hard and long I stare at her and focus on every detail, it’s like I can never capture how beautiful she really is. Her on a canvas? A drawing? It doesn’t do her justice.

You can’t copy that. That perfection. You gotta see the real thing, you gotta look at Holly in the flesh to see it, but I’ll keep trying, and I’ll keep doing it for the rest of my life.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to pull it off.

I’ll be able to paint her eyes and her smile and her hair and everything and capture all of her perfectly so the rest of the world knows that she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. ”

It was only then that I realized how much I had been babbling on and on, but babbling on and on about Holly wasn’t exactly a hard task.

“Sorry,” I said, laughing lowly. “Usually I just paint her. That’s easy to do. I’m not much of a poet.”

Lips pressed together, he just stared at me, eyes that tiny bit bright, and all I could think about was how he never used to look at me like that. It used to be everything but that light that was in his eyes. I used to be the stray dog his daughter brought home.

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “I’m glad Holly found someone who cares about her as much as you do.

Someone who wants to do nothing but look after her.

You know, I’ve spoiled her from the second I got the chance, but that’s only because I want Holly to have a perfect life.

But perfect for me and her mean two different things… ”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You’re the one she trusts with her whole heart. I’ve accepted that, and you know I never thought she’d end up with someone so…”

“Poor?” I said.