Page 12 of Infinite as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #3)

“This was supposed to be for you. This whole trip. This and…” He paused, brows furrowing. “I’m gonna give you everything I can, Holly. I will.”

“I know. You already do that.”

“I’m sorry this isn’t going how you imagined. How I imagined.”

“You’re with me. That’s how I imagine all my days.”

That had him squeezing at my knee a little firmer.

He stood up, hands cupping the sides of my face as he pulled me closer, his lips pressing to the top of my head.

My own eyes shut, feeling his thumbs circling at the skin on my cheeks, his lips letting out muffled words that I couldn’t quite decipher.

It would have been nice to stay there all day, unmoving, just us together as he held me so gently.

He smelled good. Cheap motel soap that I loved and something else that was just him . Woodsy, deep, Sawyer.

“I’ll be back in a little while,” he said, voice clearer as he tilted my head up to look at him. His green eyes stared right into mine: that color looking so much darker today, so much that they were almost unreadable. “I love you, Holly.”

“I love you too,” I whispered.

He kissed me again, this time on the lips, his tongue slipping into my mouth so slowly it had me melting against him, right into his touch.

He pulled on his shoes after that and mumbled out a goodbye, and it was only then that I breathed out the long sigh I had been holding in the whole time.

It was too much. His mom. His brother. All of it.

I didn’t blame Sawyer in the slightest for needing some air and space. God, I needed some too.

Fingers trembling, I gripped the edge of the bed and pushed myself up.

Sitting around in the room all day was just going to put me on edge until Sawyer got back, so I didn’t waste any time swinging the door open.

Burning, heavy air hit me, but the heat was at least a distraction from everything that had just happened.

Shutting the bright red door behind me, I leaned against the black railing of the balcony, taking in the sight of the parking lot.

It was a busy motel on one of the main roads, and I watched for a moment as what felt like a thousand cars zoom up and down.

Besides that, it still felt fairly serene.

It was busy in a way that felt comforting, unlike all the chaos in New York.

A good dozen or so pot plants bordered the stairs that I was making my way down before I turned a corner by the main office.

I moved past the vending machines and the faded plastic chairs that sat close by.

There was a teeny tiny patch of grass in the distance, and I spotted some kids tossing around a football, their laughs soft and warm.

I kept walking, head craning for a second to look back at the main road.

I wondered where Sawyer had gone off to.

The thought of him made me wrap my arms around myself, my fingers landing on warm skin.

I just wanted him to be okay. For him to not get hurt by her again.

I almost winced at the visual: of him letting her back into his life only for his heart to break all over again.

I had been walking so fast and so long that I had made it all the way to the back of the motel. It was a little quiet, with just the gentle sound of waves in the air that was coming from a pool. I didn’t even know the motel had one.

“You look a little lost, darling,” a warm voice called out from behind me.

Turning, I came face to face with the back part of the motel.

There were more rooms over this side too, and there was a woman sitting down on one of the ground levels, out on the tiny patio.

Her feet were up on the white railing, clad in bright purple flip flops.

She shot me a smile that I could only label as friendly as I took a couple steps over to her.

“Oh,” I said with a little laugh. “Not lost, just…”

“I can tell you’re not from around here.”

“I’m from Dallas.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, like, this isn’t your scene.”

“My scene?”

She tilted her head at me and lowered her feet, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Girls like you don’t stay in motels like this.”

“I like them.” I shrugged. “Me and my boyfriend are on a road trip. Well… the tripping part is kinda on pause fo r now.”

She laughed and patted the seat next to her. “Well, I can keep you company. Come sit. This is my place. Got a pretty nice view of the pool, don’t I?”

Her voice was warm and inviting, the sound pulling me closer to her. She had long hair, the strands bright and golden, falling right to her waist. She pushed it behind her ears again before scoffing, yanking a black scrunchie off her pale wrist, her hands pulling her hair into a ponytail.

“That’s better. My name’s Clara,” she said. “And you?”

“Holly,” I said, taking the seat by her side. I could hear some noise behind me since the door was open a crack. It sounded like the TV was on. “Are you on vacation too?”

She chuckled, throwing her head back. “If I was on vacation I’d be at the beach. I live here.”

My eyes widened for a second. “Oh.”

“Most of the residents are here permanently.”

“I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Yeah, like I said, you’re not from around here.

The couple who own this place are cool. Very welcoming.

And they charge less when you stay longer, so…

” She shrugged. “Why not, right? We all have to live somewhere, and my kid likes it here.” Craning her neck to the side, she eyed the front door. “Tommy, say hello to Holly!”

“Hello, Holly!” I heard a little voice call out from behind the door.

“Uh, hi!” I said back before turning to Clara.

“Tommy’s watching wrestling,” she said, rolling her eyes. “His favorite. Every day. Wrestling, wrestling, wrestling. Can’t get him away from the TV when it’s on.”

“How long have you guys lived here for?”

“A little over three years. I wouldn’t stay here if Tommy wasn’t happy. It’s close to his school, my work, the rent is cheap. I really can’t complain.”

I gave her a nod. It was so different to everything I had ever known. A too big house, vacation homes all over the country, five star hotels. Still, the Melrose Motel had a certain charm I wouldn’t be able to find at the Ritz or The Plaza.

“And you guys like it here?” I asked .

She smiled, all big and bright. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“I’m sorry. That was rude,” I said sheepishly, cheeks getting a little hot. “I just spent three years studying journalism. Kinda hard to quit the habit of asking questions.”

“Nah, I’m just messing with ya. Tommy’s happy, so I’m happy.

It’s a simple life. I know that. But we both like it this way.

I work at a diner just around the corner,” she said, pointing behind us, “and Tommy’s school’s about five minutes from there.

I drop him off, head on to work, we both come back here and live like kings. ”

“Like kings,” I repeated softly.

“Poor kings, but still like kings. I take it you’ve never had to live in a place like this. I guess you’re not really used to it.”

My head shook. “I don’t mind it. It’s quiet and cozy and peaceful, and I really needed a break from New York.”

A sharp whistle escaped her lips. “New York, huh? You live there now?”

“Just studying. Well, studied . I just graduated.”

“Fancy,” she said. “But you know what? That can’t beat what we have here.

Met some of my best friends these last few years.

Diana, upstairs, she used to be in movies.

And Richard, who lives towards the front, he was a truck driver, so he’s been all over this country and seen a hell of a lot.

Seen things and places most people never get to see.

And there’s Martha who lives a few rooms down from me.

She was a chef at some fancy restaurant—the kind you probably go to.

She’s retired now, but she can still whip you up a hell of a meal. ”

“Sounds like a fun time living here,” I said, my eyes falling to the pool. The wind was hot but gentle, creating the calmest of waves there in the water.

“You know, if you’re a journalist, those are the people you ought to talk to. They’ll teach you so much. More than anyone else could teach you. The stories they could tell you? Those people have seen a lot. If you wanna hear about the world, you go to them.”

Humming, I gave her a slow nod. The people I had grown up with weren’t exactly familiar with the real world.

We had rules we followed. Strict lives to adhere to.

Most of it was already written out for us before we were even born: live in our gated communities and go to our fancy private schools and attend all the high society events with our fellow high society members.

For most of my life, I had been shielded from any real problems and tragedies, from the struggles a lot of people had to deal with.

Like Sawyer.

He had taught me a lot about staying grounded over the years, in finding joy in the small things.

Quick smiles, kisses to the cheek, gentle fingers moving through my hair, lazy mornings in bed with him, my head on his lap after a long day, falling asleep in his arms, because that was the safest place in the world to be.

My mind drifted to him in an instant, eyes glued to the water, to the gentle rush of the waves. I kept wondering where Sawyer was. What he was doing. Was he just driving around, confused, sore, hurting? I winced at the thought.

Clara was telling me more about the diner.

Her boss, her co-worker that she had a little crush on, this week’s specials.

My teeth chewed into my bottom lip a little too roughly.

I wished Sawyer was with me. That I was with him.

That I could erase any and all pain he was feeling.

That I could kiss it away. I blinked and chewed at my lip some more.

Wherever he was, I just hoped he knew that I loved him, that I always would, that whatever was about to happen, I believed in him enough to know that he would get through it, because I had never met anyone as strong as him.