Page 26 of Infinite as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #3)

The morning had been nice and slow. I woke up wrapped in Sawyer’s arms, my head on his chest like neither of us had moved an inch throughout the night.

We stayed like that for a good hour, and I kept falling in and out of sleep as he pressed the softest of kisses to my forehead, his fingers tracing gentle patterns to my bare arm.

I had missed that. All those moments where we just melted together and took things slowly.

It had been hard to take things slowly lately .

Not just because Sawyer and his mom had found each other again, but because Sawyer had been acting kind of strange.

There had been a lot of quiet days in the motel where it was just me and my laptop, with me not seeing Sawyer until the sun started to set and he finally got back from wherever he had been.

He needed space and time. I got that. I just hated that he thought he had to do it all on his own.

I forced myself back into the moment as we sat in one of the booths at the diner that Clara worked at. My hands wrapped around the warm mug of hot chocolate she had made me a little earlier, bringing it up to my lips to take a slow sip.

Sawyer was going in the opposite direction. He was sitting across from me, fork and knife clinking against the plate, shoveling his pancakes into his mouth like his life depended on it.

“Please don’t choke over there…” I said.

His eyes met mine. “Hm? ”

“Why are you in such a hurry?”

Something flashed behind his eyes before he cleared his throat, swallowing hard. “I’m not. Just a little hungry.”

Laughing a little bit at the sight, I took another sip. “Wanna go for a drive around town? I’m sure we can find something to do.”

His brows pulled together. “You’re not doing any interviews today? No writing?”

“Figured I’d take a break today.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“I was gonna maybe check out this town an hour away from here. There’s something I gotta get. Art stuff, you know?” His eyes stayed glued to his plate, fork piercing the last bit of his pancake.

I shifted in my seat a little. He said I, not we, and I wished it didn’t hurt as much as it did that he didn’t want me with him, so I just gave him a slow nod in response. “Yeah, okay,” I said. “You’ll be busy today. I can find something to do.”

“I’ll drive you back to the motel.”

My eyes moved over to the window, taking in the trees in the distance, the leaves gently swaying in the wind. “It’s nice out. I can walk back.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm. You go get your stuff. I’ll be fine here.”

He was standing up before I could even part my lips to respond.

It was all happening so fast. Him shoving his hand into his pocket to pull out his wallet, him swiping his keys off the table, his phone buzzing suddenly, and I could have sworn his eyes lit up at the noise.

It was a blur as he placed cash down on the table and then leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

When he pulled away, he paused, just for a moment, green eyes locked to mine.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he said, voice suddenly all low and serious before he spun on his heels and took off out of the diner. My eyes followed him as he left and made his way to the parking lot, his phone up against his ear before he climbed into his truck .

“Weird,” I muttered to myself. Sawyer had been doing a lot of weird things lately. Taking phone calls so I wouldn’t hear them, coming back to the motel late, giving me vague responses when I asked where he had been all day.

I gave my head a shake. He was allowed to have time to himself. Allowed to go get art supplies without me. It just would have been nice to spend the day together.

I busied myself with the rest of my drink, the now cooler liquid still managing to taste just as good.

My own phone suddenly went off in my purse, and I wondered if it was Sawyer.

If he had forgotten something maybe in his sudden rush, or maybe he was asking me to tag along, but when I got my phone out, I saw that it was my dad calling.

I answered, pressing the phone to my ear. “Hey, Daddy,” I said.

“Ah, there’s my daughter. Alive ,” he said. There was a teasing tone in his voice, but underneath that was his overprotectiveness that I had been dealing with all my life. “You didn’t reply to my message.”

It hit me then. The morning had been so slow and lazy and perfect that it slipped my mind entirely to reply to any messages. “Oh, whoops. I kinda slept in today. I guess I missed it.”

“A lady of leisure.”

I laughed softly. “Something like that. You don’t have to message me every day, you know? I’m safe. I’m fine.”

“I know, I know, but I like talking to you every day. I miss talking to you every day. Remember when you used to live with me?”

“Yes, Daddy. For nineteen years. You were probably counting down the days to get rid of me.”

“Not even a little bit.”

I hummed. “What’s up?”

“I was just calling you to make sure you were okay. You didn’t reply back.”

“You know a motel isn’t like the movies, right?” I gave my eyes a roll. “They’re safe. There’s no murderers roaming around ready to attack.”

“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never stayed in one.”

My eyes rolled. “A man of leisure.”

“Just a little bit. So, how’s your road trip going? What have you seen? Me and your mother want to see all the photos. Don’t forget to send them.”

I couldn’t help but pause for a second, suddenly picking at the napkin laid across the table in front of me. “Of course. I’ll send them.”

There was some silence, and then some rustling on the end of the line, and then I heard a sigh. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“I know something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“I can hear it in your voice.”

“A lot’s happened over the last few weeks…”

“A lot meaning what exactly?”

It was my turn to sigh. Elbow on the table and palm pressed to my chin, I hesitated a little. Where did I even start? “Sawyer’s mom…” was all I could manage to say.

“His mom? What do you mean? Did she…?”

My eyes closed at what he was implying, that image hitting my heart a little too hard. “No, thank God. We bumped into her. Well, we bumped into Sawyer’s brother and then that led us to his mom, and things have been a little crazy.”

“… Jeez.”

“Yeah, that about sums it up. But he’s being so strong and brave and I’m so proud of him…” My teeth bit into my bottom lip as I let my eyes fall to the window. To that empty spot in the parking lot where his truck was a few minutes ago. “I’m really lucky to be with someone like him.”

“That’s a lot, Holly. I hope he’s doing okay. Could I talk to him?”

The faintest of smiles formed from that question alone. Years ago, Sawyer never would have gotten that from my dad. That sympathy, that warmth, that offering of a helping hand. I appreciated it more than he’d ever know.

“You just missed him. I feel like I keep missing him too.” The words made me pause. “That sounds bad. He’s allowed to have some time to himself after everything. He’s entitled to that. It just feels like he’s keeping something from me.”

“Do you think he’s lying to you? ”

“Sawyer’s always been honest. That’s one of my favorite things about him.

He’s not a liar. I don’t want him to feel like he has to keep this all to himself.

It’s so much for one person to take on their own.

And he’s not on his own, but it just feels like there’s something he’s keeping to himself.

I guess he’s allowed to have secrets, right?

I don’t want to be that annoying nagging girlfriend who doesn’t give her boyfriend space.

He deserves space, right? After everything, he deserves it.

And I should give it to him. I just don’t like that wall that’s building between us.

I hate how far away he feels from me right now.

” I pulled in a breath. “Sorry, that was a lot. I didn’t mean to rant at you like that.

It’s just the first time I’ve talked about it out loud, and I don’t want Sawyer to feel more stressed than he already is. ”

“Talk to him,” he said, tone calm and gentle. “Let him know how you’re feeling.”

“It’s just the little things, you know,” I said, fingers pulling at my napkin. “I don’t want to bother him with that.”

“Little things?”

“Just… weird phone calls. Him leaving for hours and hours and not telling me what he’s doing. He’s not usually like this.”

“So, you think he’s doing something? Something he shouldn’t be?”

My eyes closed. “No. No, not Sawyer. He’s the most honest person I know. He’s not that kind of man. I’ve known him almost my whole life, and I know he’s not a liar. And I know he’s not used to being able to rely on people, but it just feels like he’s shutting me out.”

“It’s a lot for one person, huh?”

“I hate that. I hate that I can’t fix this all for him.”

He hummed. “He’s still trying to figure it all out. Give him time, Holly. Give him space, but don’t let all that space between you two grow into something bigger. Talk to him.”

“He’s already dealing with so much.”

“He can’t read your mind, sweetheart.”

I couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at that. “Sometimes it feels like he can.”

My eyes found the window again, locking on to the blue sky that stretched on forever. Sawyer was chasing something. I just wish I knew what it was.