Page 23 of Infinite as They Come (Sinful Trilogy #3)

I leaned against the steering wheel with a long breath. “What are big brothers for?”

* * *

Me and Spencer found an empty park to practice in not too far from his place.

I had never had to teach someone to fight before.

It was just something I knew, something I had to adapt to, because defending myself was the only way I would survive.

But Spencer? He was giving me a wide-eyed look as I kneeled in front of him so we could see each other face to face.

“We’ll do the basics,” I said. “Have you ever thrown a punch?”

His head shook. “No. I don’t know how to. That’s why I need you to teach me. I just want them to leave me alone.”

Those words went straight to my heart, my fingers rubbing at my forehead. “Yeah, me too. They think you’re not gonna fight back, which is why they keep messing with you. You gotta scare ‘em a little.”

“I don’t know how to be scary.”

I laughed. “Well, you don’t have to be scary. You just have to let them know that you won’t take shit from them.”

“You swear a lot.”

“I know. Bad habit,” I said, looking down at his feet. “They ever corner you, the first thing you gotta do is make sure you’re standing good. One wrong move and you’re falling over, right? So, don’t keep your feet so close together like that. Keep them shoulder width apart.”

He nodded, shuffling on his feet a little until he got into position. “Like this?”

“Yeah, like that. See, your balance is better now,” I said. “Alright, what’s next? What do you usually do when those guys are in your face?”

“Um…” His eyes rolled up to the sky behind his glasses. “Yell for a teacher?”

“But they’re not always around, right? Like the other day when you were in the park? What happens when you’re on your own? So…” I curled my fingers at him. “Punch me.”

His eyes widened. “Punch you?”

“Go for it. You can do it.”

“I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You can hurt me. I can take it. Just one punch.”

Finally, he let out a long breath and gave me a nod that looked a little more sure. “Okay. Just one. Tell me if it hurts.”

I held back a smile as he balled his little fist up and swung it my way, and I was quick to hold my own arm up to block him. It was easy enough. He was small and moved slowly, but he still looked up at me with big eyes like I just defied gravity.

“Whoa,” he whispered.

“You can do the same thing. Those kids are gonna move faster. And maybe you think they’re stronger, but that doesn’t mean you can’t defend yourself. Now,” I said, grabbing one of his little legs and adjusting his stance again, “you stand like that, and I’m gonna throw a punch at you.”

He held his hands up. “Wait.”

“I won’t hurt you. I want you to do what I did. Block the punch. You can do it. I’ll go slow, okay? And I promise I won’t hurt you.”

Shoving his glasses up his nose, he nodded. “Okay. I trust you.”

And those words meant more to me than he realized.

I didn’t even know I wanted to hear them, really.

My head shook, trying to ground myself back in the moment as I slowly and gently moved my arm towards him, and he hesitantly shot his little one up.

My fist didn’t touch him, and a slow smile spread across his face.

“I did it!” he said, surprise laced there in his voice. “I can’t believe I did it.”

“I can. You did good. But I was moving slow, right? Those kids aren’t gonna be taking their time. Let’s try this a little faster now. You can do it.”

We spent the next half hour there in the park.

Spencer was hesitant and a little awkward with his hands, but he was a quick learner.

He kept looking up at me with wonder as I went on and on, like I was giving him some lifechanging advice.

For a kid who was so sweet, he seemed plenty excited about learning how to kick someone’s ass.

But it was getting later and later, and I remembered what he had said the other day: about his dad and mom—my mom too—getting worried when he got home late.

“How about we call it a day?” I asked, pushing a hand through my hair. “I should get you home. I’ll drive you. Come on.”

“Okay,” he said, his little fingers brushing up against mine, curling towards me.

I held his hand, feeling too protective over a kid I had just met a few times. But he was my brother. My little brother. I was supposed to look out for him.

“How’d you learn all this?” he asked. “How to fight so good?”

“Uh…” My tongue clicked. “I watch a lot of hockey. Maybe you should watch some. You’ll learn a lot. You like hockey?”

Slowly, he gave his head a little shake. “No. I don’t like sports.”

“Right. You’re more of a gardening guy. Nothing wrong with that.”

“People think it’s boring, but it’s my favorite thing to do,” he said as we made it to the truck. “I’m gonna do some when I get home. It’s Monday, and me and my dad work on the flowers on Mondays.”

“Yeah?” I smiled as I held the door open for him. “Sounds like a good time.”

Spencer hopped in the car and it was only a few minutes drive to his house. I pulled into the driveway just as Kurt walked outside, a smile spreading across his face when he spotted the truck. He gave me a wave, walking over to my side as Spencer hopped out.

“Sawyer, hey,” he said, leaning against the door. “I see you bumped into Spencer.”

“Yeah, he was walking home,” I explained. “Figured I’d give him a ride back.”

“Ah, I see.” He looked over at Spencer. “Spencer, go get changed. I’ll meet you out the back.”

“Bye, Sawyer,” Spencer said, giving me a little wave before running through the front door.

Kurt had some thick old gardening gloves on, all stained with dirt as he gave the wrists a yank.

He was shooting me a smile that always seemed to be there on his face.

Part of me kept trying to find some fault in him.

Like maybe there was something he was hiding, something dark and sinister that he was just too good at masking.

I didn’t ever want my mom to get hurt all over again, to suffer like she did once upon a time.

My fingers twitched against the wheel at the thought of her.

I still wasn’t ready to dive right in yet, to open up, to share everything that was sitting heavy there in my brain and heart.

“I hope it’s okay I picked him up. We hung out a little,” I finally said. “Maybe I should have asked…”

“No, no, no. Not at all. Thanks for that.” He leaned in a little closer, his voice lowering. “We used to drive him home. You know, because of those kids. He’s getting older now and he kinda insists on walking by himself. It makes him feel more independent.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I get it.”

“He’s a sweet kid. Quiet and shy. I’m sure you can tell. But he really likes you. He talks about you all the time, you know? Thinks you’re a hero now after you saved him down at the park. Me and Linda think you’re a bit of a hero too.”

His words made me grip the steering wheel tighter. “Uh, where is… she?”

He pressed his lips together. “She’s at work. She works at a dentist not too far from here. The best receptionist in town.”

“Yeah, I bet,” I murmured .

Something behind his eyes softened. “She never wanted to hurt you, Sawyer. She told me about your dad. How he treated her and you. I’m sorry you went through that.

She’s sorry too. I know you might feel like she left you behind, but…

Sawyer, she didn’t know what to do. She was young.

Only twenty. It wasn’t easy for her, and she talked about you every chance she got. Every day, really.”

“Thanks,” was all I could manage to say.

His throat cleared. “I finish work early on Mondays. Me and Spencer usually like to do some gardening to get the week started. Helps us prepare for everything about to come. You’re welcome to join us if you’d like.”

I wasn’t used to the tone in his voice. All warm and welcoming and encouraging and patient.

I shook my head at his offer. Holly was at the motel, anyway, and I had been dying to see her all day.

The house I saw hadn’t exactly worked out and that definitely left me feeling a little deflated, but knowing I’d be getting back to her made my chest feel all warm. I just needed to feel her close.

“Uh, thanks, but I gotta head out,” I said. “Tell her… Tell my mom I said hi.”

He rested a hand on my arm, giving it a pat. “I will. I’ll see ya around.”

I watched him move back inside before driving off, and I let my mind reel back to the day’s events.

The morning had felt like yet another setback, but the afternoon was good.

I liked hanging out with Spencer. I liked seeing his eyes light up when he realized that he was stronger and faster than he thought.

He just needed a little push in the right direction to see that he had it in him.

I picked up dinner for me and Holly and made it back to the motel just as the sun started to set.

One hand filled with food, I used the other to yank out another bag sitting there in the back of the truck filled with art stuff I picked up in the morning.

I had been doing a lot of painting at night when I got back to the motel.

Doing that got me to calm down for a little while, and a few of my tubes of paint were running low since I had been using so much.

With both bags in my hands, I moved into the room with a long, heavy sigh.

There Holly sat on the bed, her laptop on her thighs and her brows furrowed just that tiny bit. Her pretty eyes found mine and a smile spread across her face.

“And where were you?” she asked, shutting her computer.

“Paint.” I held up one bag filled with the art stuff. “Dinner.” I held up the other. “Which one do you wanna eat?”

“Ooh, the paint,” she said, crawling across the bed until she was kneeling at the edge. “Sounds so delicious.”