Page 4 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

All my preparations were an attempt to tip the scales in my favour.

It was for that reason that I also held a bunch of flowers bigger than my head in one hand.

The florist had talked me through the various meanings.

Usually, I wouldn’t pay attention to that sort of thing.

Hell, usually I wouldn’t bother with flowers.

But I’d fucked up enough already where Noah was concerned. I wasn’t taking any chances.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself of the mantra that had got me through the past day . You’re here to apologise and strike up a friendship. If it leads to more, great. Do not fuck this up again .

Finally, I summoned the courage to ring the doorbell. It was pointless, really. They knew I was here. They’d known since I crossed the wards at the boundary.

Not one of them had come to the door though, not even Nox. Which meant one of two things: either no one was home, or how I’d behaved towards Noah had seriously pissed everyone off.

Given I could sense several angels in the house beyond, it had to be the latter. It was a good thing I knew how to grovel, because I suspected I’d be doing a lot of it.

The door opened slowly and I braced myself.

It still wasn’t enough to prepare me for seeing Noah up close for the first time.

I exhaled sharply, his beauty robbing me of my sensibilities.

His hair was pulled back in a half ponytail, making the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbones even more cutting.

Long lashes framed thosedevastating goldeneyes, and he blinked slowly as he swept his gaze over me.

I stood frozen, unable to stop myself memorising every detail. The leggings clinging to his leanly muscled thighs. The flowing azure blue shirt, the loose fabric hiding the contours of his torso from me.

He was exactly as I remembered. Except for one crucial detail.

No longer was he looking at me with confusion or wonder. There was no longing on his face, no desire.

In fact, the only emotion Noah betrayed was the slight curling of his lip. Disgust.

I didn’t blame him. I was pretty disgusted with my behaviour too.

I added an item to the short list of things I knew about my mate. Noah knows his self-worth.

“Do you have something you want to say? Or is your plan just to stare at me like a gormless idiot? If it’s the latter, I suggest you take a picture so I can continue with my day. I have a lot to do.”

Shit. He was talking to me. How did words work again?

The curl in his lip deepened. “Well, if that’s all…”

My hand shot out to stop the door from closing. “No, wait. I’m sorry.”

One of Noah’s brows rose as he opened the door slightly wider. Over his shoulder, I spotted two identical faces spying on me from the staircase.The one on the right slid a thumb across his throat.

Great. Nothing like grovelling in front of a murderous audience.

“What are you sorry for, exactly?” Noah folded his arms over his chest. We were the same height, but the way he was glaring down at his nose made me feel two feet tall. “Turning up uninvited like an irritating salesman?”

“No.” I tried desperately to compose myself, but it was hard. My soul was screaming about the fact that my mate was within arm’s reach but I couldn’t touch him. “I mean, yes. I’m sorry about that too.”

Noah tapped his foot, glancing pointedly at the slim watch on his wrist. “Will this take long? I do have places to be.”

Irritation prickled at me, and my mouth ran ahead of my brain. “Oh, sorry. Don’t let meeting your fated mate interfere with your day.”

Noah went deadly still. “What did you say?”

I winced. Fuck. Shouldn’t have said that.

“Uh-oh,” one of the twins murmured.“Tenner says Noah stabs him.”

The other twin pulled out a literal bag of popcorn from behind his back. “Nah. Too violent for Noah. Hundred on him blasting him all the way to the end of the drive though.”

“Why waste my energy?” Noah drawled in response to the twins’ betting. “I can just close the door on him and his pathetic apologies.”

Once again, I found myself shoving against the door. “No, wait. I’m sorry. Again. I promise, I’m not a prick. Please, just give me a chance.”

“A chance?” The words were barely more than a whisper, but I knew it was the calm before the storm. Noah might have looked delicate, but the power I could sense in him was greater than anything I’d ever faced before. Magnificent. “You’ve had those already, buddy. Three, in fact.”

His nostrils flared as he stepped over the threshold, crowding into my space. Surprise had me stepping back in alarm. “First, when you realised I lived here and decided to fuck off to god knows where.”

“I know, but?—”

“Second”—Noah bulldozed on, not giving me a chance to speak. Which was fair, seeing as he’d given me several and I’d just stared at him like the gormless idiot he’d accused me of being—“when you saw me that day with Gloria and fucking knew what we were to each other.”

“Look, if you let me?—”

“And third, when I tried to approach you after.” Noah was trembling now.

Not from fear or sadness, but from fury.

There were even sparks dancing around his fingers.

I wasn’t sure whether fated mates could hurt each other, but I thought I might be about to find out.

“You’ve had plenty of fucking chances, Jeremiah. ”

The sound of my name on his lips was like an arrow to the heart. One spiked with the same venom he’d coated my name with. “I know. I’ve been a complete dick. I thought if I left before meeting you that I’d be able to stay away.”

“Oh, how benevolent of you.” I winced at the sarcasm lacing his voice. “I should count my blessings.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, wondering how I’d managed to fuck this up so fast. “I just…wasn’t thinking.”

“That much is obvious.” Noah snorted. He crossed his arms and tapped his fingers against his elbows. “Tell me this, did you stop to consider how you leaving would affect me?”

I licked my lips nervously. “What do you mean?”

“Surely you must’ve realised that Micah and Nox would work out the truth eventually—that you have a mate in the Seraphim.

” Noah spoke slowly, almost patronisingly so.

“And that after you had that realisation, you ran away as far as you could. Did you think about how I’d feel when I eventually found out? ”

I blinked at him, my mind reeling as I returned to the events of that day. “No, I just…left.”

“That’s what I thought.” Noah laughed bitterly. “And the day you met me? Did you think about how ignoring me would hurt? How the fact that you could barely fucking look at me might cut me in two? That you couldn’t bring yourself to even introduce yourself?”

Fuck, this was going so much worse than expected. Noah wasn’t just pissed. He was furious. “I knew it hurt you bu?—”

“But you left anyway.” Noah gave me a brittle smile. “Charming.”

“You don’t understand,” I said desperately, raking a hand through my short hair. It was strange to not feel the long strands anymore. “I was scared. ”

“Scared of a conversation? Of an introduction?”

I blew a breath out of my nose. “You know it would be more than that, Noah. We’re mates.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong.” Noah stepped closer, his voice dropping low.

Behind him, more angels appeared in the lobby.

Nox was there too, concern on his face as he took in the sparks flickering around Noah’s hands again.

“It wouldn’t have been more, not unless we both wanted it.

I don’t want someone to be mine just because fate says so.

I want him to be with me because he loves me. Because he chooses me.”

He stepped back, giving me a withering once-over. “I always thought they’d be one and the same, but I guess I’ve been fooled again.”

My eyes narrowed. Again?

“You should go.” He jerked his head towards the drive.“We’re nothing to each other, and I have zero desire to change that.”

Desperation swelled in me, rising up my throat and exploding into words. “Please don’t shut me out, Noah. I know I fucked up, but I’m sorry.”

“Why shouldn’t I? We know nothing about each other, and we certainly don’t owe each other anything.”

“That’s why I came here today, to apologise. To get to know you.”

He gestured at the flowers. “I suppose you think this makes up for everything?”

I glanced down at them with a frown. “No, but it’s a start, right?”

From the hisses and murmurs from our audience, I knew I’d said the wrong thing again. Shutters came down behind Noah’s eyes, closing him off from me. “A start?”

Ezekiel tucked his human mate behind him as several shields appeared. In front of the human, that is, not me. No, they were leaving me to face whatever Noah was going to throw at me. I couldn’t even be mad about it, given what I’d done.

But Noah didn’t go on the attack. Not physically or magically, anyway.

“I watched you fly away from me, did you know that? No, of course you didn’t.

You didn’t look back over your shoulder even once.

You’re my fated mate, and you dismissed me as though I was nothing more than an irritant. A bad memory to forget about.”

He shouldered past me, his wings shredding the garment he wore.

My fingers tingled with the urge to touch them.

To see if the white feathers were as soft and sensitive as my black ones.

“Tell you what, Jeremiah, how about you watch me fly away this time? Watch me, knowing I’m your fated mate and that I’m leaving.

That you have no chance with me. That I’m so ready to forget you that I won’t look back even once.

” He gave me a final disgusted look. “Do that, and then tell me if you think flowers are enough of an apology.”

He took to the sky before I could stop him.

And, true to his word, he didn’t look back.

Not even once.