Page 38 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

Jeremiah

C ould I have held Lyle without killing him repeatedly?

Possibly. But why bother testing it when the alternative was so cathartic?

“I had no idea feet looked like that as they melted,” Dash marvelled. “It’s morbidly satisfying.”

The arrival of the angel from Juniper had been the final push Noah needed to leave the room. It’d had me adding another entry to the list.

Noah is stubborn.

With two of us here though, he felt more comfortable taking some much-needed time to rest. Not that he had to worry. I only let Lyle live long enough to get a sentence out before killing him each time.

I could’ve gone with a more merciful method, but I was beyond that. I probably would’ve done this regardless. Seeing the state Noah had been in when I’d arrived…

I never wanted to see him like that again.

But given Lyle was choosing his precious seconds before he gave in to screams to spew vitriol about my mate?

The fucker was going to suffer, and I wasn’t about to feel a shred of guilt over it. It was why I let him fully reincarnate every time.

It made the pain far worse. I didn’t want Lyle to miss out on any of it.

Dash’s comment suddenly made me realise that, unlike me, this wasn’t a sight he was familiar with. “Um, is it bothering you?”

The brown-eyed angel frowned. “No. Why would it?”

I shrugged as Lyle died, screaming as he went. “Well, he’s your leader, after all.”

Dash gave a snort of derision, his raven-black hair flopping over his forehead. “Trust me, it’s been a few centuries since he’s behaved like a real leader. Cunt has this coming, especially given how he’s treated Noah in the past.”

I let a stream of fire burn away the gore that had been left behind. Another pile of ash joined the others already littering the floor as I considered my next question carefully. “How did he treat Noah?”

Dash’s eyes darkened. “Like a puppet on a string. Lyle would give Noah just enough affection and attention to keep him under his thumb before casting him out.”

I glared at Lyle’s corpse. If Noah weren’t in the Seraphim and under threat from Gloria, I’d take great pleasure in ending him permanently.

“I don’t think Noah realises I know,” Dash said softly. “Not all of the unit picked up on it, but I guess I’ve always been more…perceptive than the others. Noah wears his heart on his sleeve, so it was obvious every time it’d been broken…even if not everyone noticed.”

A pit of despair opened in my stomach. Noah had loved Lyle. He must’ve done. How could he have broken his heart otherwise ?

Everything Noah had said to me in the early days of our relationship suddenly made sense.

“ I don’t want someone to be mine just because fate says so. I want him to be with me because he loves me. ”

“ I always thought they’d be one and the same, but I guess I’ve been fooled once again. ”

“ I’ve been in a situation where I felt trapped, but the reality was that I was the one keeping myself there. ”

“ Because every time I fall, I break. Every. Single. Time. I don’t want that to happen with you. ”

It hadn’t broken Noah though. He’d got out. He’d loved this male, but he loved himself more. Enough to remove himself from a situation he knew was toxic. It showed a strength of character that I was in awe of.

Noah is strong.

There were so many facets to the angel I was falling for. Noah was a lethal warrior, but he was also beautiful. Elegant. Not delicate—that was the wrong word.

A diamond, I realised. Impossible to break, rare, and exceptional. That was Noah.

Knowing his history with Lyle also shone a fresh light on just how deeply my actions had wounded him. Noah had loved someone who’d rejected him over and over again. He’d probably thought meeting his fated mate would be different. That I’d be the one person who wouldn’t reject him.

He’d been so wrong. No, I’d been wrong. Noah had had every right to those hopes and expectations. I’d been the one to fuck it up.

Suddenly, the grovelling I’d done wasn’t enough. That Noah had forgiven me so fast showed yet another side of him. One that wanted to love.

Noah sees the best in everyone .

Somehow, despite my past, he was determined to see the best in me.

Sat before the male who’d broken my mate’s heart, I vowed to never be like Lyle. To strive every day to show Noah how much I cared. That his love, if he chose to bless me with it, would be returned. That I’d protect his heart as fiercely as I’d protect him.

Noah didn’t need my physical protection, but it was becoming damn clear that he needed it emotionally and mentally. I’d been right in my summation that he was too pure to survive intact downstairs. Despite his sometimes prickly exterior, there was nothing Noah wouldn’t do for others.

Including his dickhead ex.

Noah doesn’t like to say no.

That was fine. I could say it in many languages. And for Noah? I’d happily sing it in all of them if it protected his happiness and well-being.

The door opened and I turned to see Noah entering. My grin was automatic, just knowing he was near, but when I noted the lack of bags under his eyes, the confidence in his stride, and the steady hum of power in his veins, it softened in relief.

Noah was rested. My demon retreated for the first time in weeks, but not fully—he wouldn’t do that until we’d put several countries between our mate and Lyle.

Noah greeted Dash warmly before settling onto the floor beside me. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.” I put my arm around his shoulders and tugged him closer. “Except for the fact that you’re too far away from me.”

He sighed happily, leaning his head on my shoulder. “I’ve missed you. ”

I kissed his temple. “Missed you more.”

“Not possible.”

A fake gagging noise has us both looking at Dash. He winked impishly, holding up his hands. “Sorry, but you two are so sweet it’s nauseating.”

“You’re just bitter because you’re single,” Noah said.

“Yup.” Dash pouted dramatically. “I can’t understand why no one wants to lock all of this down.” He gestured at his admittedly very cut physique. He was, objectively, a stunning male.

But he was nothing compared to my Noah.

“It’s because those men aren’t your fated mate,” Noah said softly, his eyes lingering on Lyle’s inert form. “You’re not supposed to love anyone else. I wish I’d realised that sooner.”

“Join the club,” Dash muttered under his breath. I wasn’t sure Noah heard; he was staring into space now, his mind a million miles from here.

I bit my lip as I studied him. Did he regret that it was me and not Lyle?

He couldn’t, right? I mean, the guy was a prick.

That didn’t necessarily mean anything though.

I’d spent centuries in Hell torturing evil people who’d never known a day of discomfort in their lives.

A lot of the time, those who deserved punishment the most didn’t see it during their mortal lifespan.

They waltzed through life while karma repeatedly failed to catch them.

It would after death though. I hadn’t minded torturing those souls. Karma was a nickname I’d happily adopt.

I’d be Lyle’s karma too, if that was what Noah wanted.

But what if it wasn’t? What if he wanted to keep him alive because, deep down, he still felt something for him?

I was spiralling fast thanks to my overthinking. Thank fuck we weren’t bonded yet. Noah didn’t need a front-row seat to my insecurities.

If you were bonded, you’d already know how Noah felt.

“Are you mates then?” Dash’s question jolted us both from our individual reveries. “I can’t sense a bond.”

I hesitated, my anxiety holding my tongue in its grip.

Noah didn’t though.

“We’re fated mates, yes.” He laced his fingers through mine and smiled. “Not bonded yet because we’re trying not to rush things.”

I flashed back to kneeling behind Noah in his lacy thong. “We’re doing a stellar job of it too.”

Noah’s gaze sparkled as it met mine, and I knew he was thinking about the same thing. Was he also wondering when we could next recreate it?

Because I sure as fuck was.

My attention drifted over to where Lyle’s hands were twitching. “Time to go again.”

“Let me,” Noah said simply.

Without letting him regain consciousness, Noah unleashed a blast of his power. Lyle’s neck snapped with a loud crack, and the life left his body again.

“Not as much fun as my approach, but definitely efficient,” I said.

“I’ve had enough of listening to Lyle for a lifetime.” Noah shuddered slightly. “I’d be delighted to never hear his voice again.”

The thread of insecurity dissipated. Until Noah and I had the chance to have a proper conversation about his past, I doubted it would stay gone for long, but I was going to trust what Noah was telling me.

Doing otherwise would drive me to insanity.

Bringing my lips close to his ear, I whispered words meant only for him. “Is it wrong that I find your power hot as fuck?”

Noah’s lips twitched. “Depends.”

“On what?”

“How soon we can get out of here so you can show me just how hot you find it.”

“Okay, I take it back,” Dash huffed. We both jumped slightly. While we’d started off whispering, we hadn’t been by the end. “You’re not sweet. You’re dirty fuckers who don’t give a shit about how horny you’re making your audience.”

Noah leaned forward to peer at Dash. “You could just not listen or look.”

Dash smirked. “Ah, but what else will I have to keep me warm at night? At least you’re both hot. It can be your punishment for being all sexy when I know you’ve got no intention of sharing.”

“Damn right,” I said gruffly, pulling Noah closer. “Go find your own mate.”

“I will.” Dash waggled his eyebrows. “But until then, I’m going to play with as many people as possible.”

Noah groaned. “Remind me never to introduce Dash to the twins.”

Dash replied, but I didn’t hear it. I was too busy thinking about what he’d said. About how I’d been that person a few months ago. I’d come topside and made it my mission to fuck as many different people as possible. After all, what was the point of being free if you didn’t make the most of it?

It was only now that I realised how empty I’d felt. There’d been no connection. No intimacy. I may as well have been back downstairs for all the pleasure it had truly given me .

With Noah, it was different. Everything was.

I didn’t know how I’d survived without him for this long.

Dash grunted suddenly. “Vampires are here.”

“That’s odd,” Noah mused, staring at Dash.

I frowned. “What is? You knew they were coming, right?”

“Not that.” He gave me a small, sad smile. “Dash felt them cross the wards, but I didn’t.”

Understanding washed over me and I rubbed my thumb against Noah’s upper arm. Once, he would’ve known they’d crossed the wards because he would’ve been tied to them. Now, it was a reminder that this was no longer his home.

He was just a visitor.

“That must be hard.”

Noah shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but it did. Dash was right, his emotions were easy to understand if you knew how to read them. “It’s fine. I’m glad I left.”

“Me too.”

Voices drifted down the hall as the new arrivals drew nearer. The three of us got to our feet, ready to greet them.

Atlas stepped through first, the vampires on his heels. The taller of the two males swept his hawklike gaze over the room in an assessing manner. Dressed in a suit that would have looked more at home in a previous decade, he gave off an aura of dominance and control.

As did the shorter one, come to think of it.

There was something in how he held himself.

Like he was used to being obeyed. That aura and his dark hair were all he had in common with the other vampire.

This bloke was on the shorter side, several piercings dotting his face.

Tattoos covered both of his arms as far as I could see with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

He looked oddly familiar…

I wasn’t the only one who thought so. Noah frowned. “Tobes?”

The name didn’t ring any bells for me, but it did for the vampire. His brows drew together as he scowled at Noah. “Only my mate is allowed to call me that.”

Noah flushed, making me step forward with a growl. Noah stopped me with a hand on my arm. “I apologise. It’s the only name I remember from that day. We didn’t have a chance for a proper introduction before?—”

“Oh my god.” Tobes, or whatever his name was, interrupted him. The little colour in his pale cheeks drained away. He stepped towards Noah, his demeanour having done a one-eighty. “It’s you. It is you, right?”

My gaze darted between them. I had no idea what was happening. From the confusion on everyone else’s faces, neither did they.

Noah inclined his head. “Yes. Noah. I’m glad to see you well.”

“Thanks to you.” The vampire’s voice was suddenly thick with emotion. “My mate and I owe you our immortality. I can’t believe I didn’t recognise you immediately.”

“I am pretty unforgettable.” Noah grinned. “Don’t worry about it—it was a traumatic day all round. I’m glad to hear the two of you are mated now.”

“They were rather dramatic about it first,” the other vampire said in bemusement. “Well, Toby here was. He’s lucky Blaise is a forgiving sort.”

“Tyler’s right, as per fucking usual. I was dramatic and I’m thankful Blaise forgave me.

” Toby grunted in agreement. “And I’m sorry I didn’t bring him with me now.

He’d love to see you again. Things went so fucking south that day, and we’ll never be able to thank you enough for saving us.

If you’d gone straight into Hell like anyone else, we would’ve been fucked. Permanently.”

Hell…

“Hang on.” I turned to Noah as I suddenly realised what day they were talking about. A day that had changed the course of my life. A day I hadn’t realised Noah had been present for. “You were in Hell the day of the battle?”