Page 30 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

Micah’s eyes were wide as he leaned close to me. “This isn’t normal behaviour for Lyle, right?”

“No,” I whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from my former lover as he turfed an angel in our row out of his seat and took it for himself.

He was only a few seats down but hadn’t clocked us yet.

“I mean, the way he spoke to Atlas? That’s standard, unfortunately.

But never in public, and certainly not in front of this many people. ”

“He looks intoxicated,” Micah said before horror dawned. “That, or this is the result of him crossing the line.”

I swallowed hard. I knew exactly which line Micah was referring to.

As archs, we commanded enormous amounts of power.

We spent decades learning how to properly harness it.

How to release it in controlled bursts. It was the most important part of our training, and for a very good reason.

If we didn’t, if we stepped past the limit of control and let our power control us, it would end terribly for everyone.

During his second run-in with Micah and Nox, Lyle had stepped over that line.

He’d allowed his control to snap and his power to overwhelm him.

The only reason it hadn’t ended catastrophically was because of the timely arrival of Dimitri, Micah’s former second, along with the sons of Lucifer.

They’d been able to subdue Lyle before any real damage was done.

It happened so rarely that none of us really knew what effect it had on the arch afterwards. Normally, the arch didn’t survive. They’d be hunted down and executed. Heaven would deem them too dangerous to live once they’d demonstrated such a weak grip on their power.

Clearly, that hadn’t happened with Lyle. The question was, why?

I tugged my hair back into a ponytail, using the band I kept on my wrist for the purpose. “He doesn’t drink Adamanthea and judges those who do quite harshly, so I can’t imagine it’s that. Do you think crossing the line could’ve affected him this much?”

“I suspect so.” Micah pursed his lips as he too studied Lyle. “And judging by his appearance, I’d guess it’s affecting more than just his balance and filter.”

I’d been so stunned by how Lyle had entered that I hadn’t noticed anything else unusual. Frowning, I focused in now on his wrinkled shirt, which appeared to have several stains on it. The scruff I’d never seen on his chin before. The slight shake in his hands.

We weren’t the only ones to pick up on it either. There were murmurs all around us as various units took guesses at what had led to Lyle’s unusually dishevelled appearance. Under normal circumstances, he took pride in how he looked. Almost too much pride.

That he’d shown up in this manner certainly suggested something else was going on. Micah was right. It could all be connected to the day he’d failed to bring Micah and Nox in.

Or it could just be that what had happened that day had hit Lyle harder than expected. For an angel such as Lyle, that failure would’ve been taken to heart. Especially given that he’d been defeated by demons, amongst others. They were the lowest of the low as far as Lyle was concerned.

Nox and Micah hadn’t executed him, and from what I’d heard, they’d actively sought to prevent the sons of Lucifer from doing it on their behalf.

They’d left him with his immortality, knowing it would only make things worse for them.

Lyle wouldn’t have seen that as merciful.

No, he would be wallowing in the shame of having failed.

It had also been the day I’d cut him out of my life for good.

I wasn’t egotistical enough to think any of this was about me.

It never was. He might be pissed that I’d been the one to walk away, but that was as deep as his feelings would go.

Any further would imply a level of care that he simply didn’t feel for me.

He’d told me often enough. I wished I’d listened centuries earlier than I had. That I hadn’t wasted so much time on him.

It had taken spending time with Jeremiah for me to realise just what a waste it’d been.

With Jem, I didn’t need to wonder if he was listening when I spoke.

It was obvious in how he responded, in the questions he asked.

I didn’t need to worry whether I was in his thoughts as much as he was in mine, not with the countless messages he sent me daily.

I’d secretly hoped that meeting my fated mate would get me over Lyle completely, but I hadn’t realised it would be like this. It wasn’t instalove. It wasn’t a bond. It was Jem. It was the care and consideration he showed me every day.

To some, it was the bare minimum. But to me? Someone who’d learned to expect nothing?

It was everything.

“Atlas asked me to meet him later,” I whispered to Micah as the speaker cleared his throat to restore order. “Said he needed my help with something.”

Micah’s lips thinned as he glared in Lyle’s direction. “Guess we know what with.”

I sighed. “Not sure what I can do about it, if anything.”

“Noah, it’s not your responsibility,” Micah whispered. The speaker was droning on again, but we were far from the only ones ignoring him. “You aren’t part of Juniper now, and certainly not a part of Lyle’s life. Whatever he’s going through isn’t your problem to worry about.”

Just then, Atlas pushed off the wall and strode for his seat. He held his chin high, as though he hadn’t just been humiliated by his leader in front of his peers. Ignoring the pointed looks, he sat down and kept his gaze steadily forward.

Micah was right. It wasn’t my responsibility or problem anymore. I’d made that decision when I walked away from them.

The issue was that the unit had been fine when I’d left the first time. Strong and well-oiled, albeit ridden over roughshod by Lyle. Clearly, things were far from fine now. I already knew it’d make walking away from them again impossible.

My heart sank. Looked like this conference just got a fuck-tonne more complicated.