Page 31 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

Noah

A tlas had chosen our meeting place well. Not another soul was within hearing distance or sight as I joined him in the ruins of theancient church.He was already there, sprawled across the ground as he stared at the night sky.

“I forgot how peaceful it is here,” I said by way of greeting as I sat beside him. “Far more stars on display than in London.”

“Nothing’s been stopping you coming to visit.”

“I assumed none of you wanted to see me.”

Atlas’s head snapped around, his eyes narrowed. “Why the fuck would you assume that?”

“Um, maybe because you all blocked my number to stop me from contacting you?”

Atlas sat up slowly. “What? We didn’t block you. None of us did. We only didn’t reach out because we wanted to respect your decision to walk away.”

I blinked in confusion. “You must’ve done. I reached out to you all. Several times, in fact. My messages weren’t delivering and my calls wouldn’t connect. When I asked Nate about it, he said the only explanation was that you’d all blocked me.”

Horror dawned on Atlas’s face as he pulled his phone from his pocket. His thumbs flew over the screen as he checked something. “What the fuck?”

He turned the phone to show me that I was indeed blocked. “It wasn’t me, I swear.”

Heat burned behind my eyes. “None of you blocked me?”

Atlas grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me forward until our foreheads touched. It was a comforting gesture—a callback to our childhood. It was how we expressed affection. How we stopped the other from spiralling. “No, my friend. We did not.”

If they hadn’t blocked me, that meant Lyle had. He’d been so determined to keep us all apart that he’d invaded their privacy to do so.

The lengths Lyle had gone to shouldn’t have surprised me, but they did. He’d taken the choice away from all of us.

I knew why. Lyle had always hated how close we all were. My friendship with Atlas had been a particular sticking point for him. It was so stupid. Everyone knew we saw each other as brothers—nothing more.

At first, I’d seen his jealousy as a sign of passion. Of want and need. But really it was just about control. Lyle had sought to isolate me from those who might encourage me to leave.

I hadn’t realised he’d keep doing it after I’d taken that step. It wasn’t about control now. It was punishment, plain and simple. I’d cut him out of my life, so Lyle had ensured I lost the rest of them at the same time.

I’d hated him before, but never as viscerally as I did now. How dare he? I mean, how fucking dare he cut me off from those I loved?

And why the fuck hadn’t I realised and done something sooner?

“I’m sorry,” I rasped hoarsely. “I should’ve tried harder. Should’ve visited.”

“This isn’t on you.” Atlas sighed. “I should’ve realised you wouldn’t turn your back on us like that with everything we’ve been through. I should’ve fucking known Lyle was connected somehow. He always did want to keep us apart.”

“Idiot.” I gave him a small smile. “Like I’d ever want to sleep with you.”

“Fuck no.” Atlas shuddered. “Talk about weird. Although, I wonder if it was mostly because I saw through him and begged you to leave.”

“I wish I’d left sooner,” I whispered, my eyes stinging again. “I should’ve listened to you.”

We fell silent and I used the time to try and gather myself. I’d known it would be hard to come back here, but the overwhelming sense of loss was greater than I’d expected.

I wished Jem was here right now. He had a knack for making me feel better.

“This feels wrong to even bring up now,” Atlas admitted eventually, “but things have reached a point where I don’t know what else to do.”

My shoulders tensed. “You want me to help with Lyle.”

“Yes. Not for his sake. Honestly, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about him if I tried. Not after everything he’s done. But I need you to for us. For Juniper.”

I gazed at the stars and hated that it wasn’t the same sky as the one above Jem right now. What would he say if he knew about this ?

He’d probably say the same as Micah. That it’s not your problem and certainly not your responsibility.

Jem would want me to put myself first. That much I was sure of.

“What happened to Lyle? Or is this a result of him finally having his arse handed to him?”

“It’s partly that, but I think it’s mostly because he lost control so drastically.

” Atlas said. “When he returned that day, he’d…

changed. He has periods of lucidity where he appears normal, but they never last long.

It’s like he switches into a completely different person.

He becomes volatile and aggressive, launching into attacks at the smallest provocation.

His spatial awareness and coordination are shot to pieces.

As for running the unit? Forget it. He can’t even look after himself when he’s in this state. ”

“How long does it tend to last?”

Atlas rubbed at his chin. “Initially, just a few hours every couple of days. But recently it’s flipped. Now, we’re lucky if we get thirty minutes of lucidity.”

“Fuck,” I exhaled sharply. “Why haven’t the council intervened?”

“Because they don’t know what happened. They have no idea that Lyle lost control and stepped over the line.”

“How is that possible?”

“Because Lyle was the one in Gloria’s pocket. Why would she believe Micah and Nox over him?”

I scowled. “It wasn’t just them though. There were regents there too.”

He snorted in disgust. “Oh, you mean the regents who defied Gloria and had to seek sanctuary with the Seraphim as a result?”

Shit. Yeah, I could see his point. Gloria and the rest of the council wouldn’t put stock in any of their words over Lyle’s.

“It can’t go on forever,” I said eventually. “The council will strip him of his position when it becomes evident that he’s not fit to lead. Fuck it, it could happen at this very conference if he carries on the way he was earlier.”

“I wish it were that simple,” Atlas said bitterly, a muscle jumping in his jaw. “If I could guarantee the safety of the rest of the unit then I’d sit back and watch it happen.”

Fear crept from the darkness to wrap its claws around my throat. “What aren’t you telling me, Atlas?”

“Lyle put everything on the line when he heard about the Micah and Nox situation,” Atlas said. “The council wanted to send the regents in initially, but Lyle fought for the honour instead. For him, Rowan, and me to do it.”

“Why not the whole unit?” I hadn’t understood it at the time, and I didn’t now. Lyle had to have known they were outmatched. Micah wasn’t just the leader because of his diplomatic and military prowess, but because his well of power was rivalled by very few others.

I was one of those few, but leadership had never been something I coveted.

“Ego,” Atlas grunted. “He hates that Micah and the Seraphim are more powerful. I think he believed that if we could take him in, it would prove that Juniper should have the higher ranking.”

“He’s such a fool.” I shook my head. “I’ll never understand how he was chosen as leader.”

“Obviously it didn’t work out that way. Partially because of your involvement, and because Rowan and I chose not to fight.”

That was right. Once I’d arrived and laid several home truths at Lyle’s feet, I’d engaged him in battle to give Micah and Nox time to escape.

Neither Atlas nor Rowan had defended Lyle. Nor had they chased the fleeing arch and his mate through the skies.

“Thank you for that,” I said. “I appreciate you not stepping in.”

“We’re angels. That should mean we fight for what’s right, not what we’re ordered to do,” Atlas said bitterly, shaking his head. “Somewhere through the millennia, that message has got lost. There was no way either of us were going to attack Micah just for protecting his fated mate.”

His serious gaze locked on mine. “And we’d never attack you either. I don’t give a shit what unit you fight in, or what side of the line you’re on, you’re family. We’ll have your back any day of the week.”

Welp, there went my tear ducts again.

“Thank you,” I rasped. “Same goes, by the way.”

“I know, which is why I’m asking you this.” He sighed. “I don’t do so lightly, Noah. I watched what you went through with Lyle. I saw him break your heart over and over again. You walked away from everything you knew because it was the only way to save yourself.”

His voice broke on the final word, and he paused to take a steadying breath. “Asking for your help with this…it goes against everything in my heart and soul. It truly does. But I’m desperate.”

I twisted my hair around my fingers to try and alleviate the building anxiety. Once more, I thought of Jem, and how I wished it was his hand playing with it. If he were here, I was certain this wouldn’t be as hard.

You can’t rely on Jeremiah for everything. You’re strong without him.

I was. I wasn’t denying that .

But with him at my side, that strength was easier to find.

“Lyle told the council we refused to fight,” Atlas continued, his fingers gripping the stone so hard his knuckles were white. “He blamed us for Micah and Nox getting away and needing the regents to intervene.”

Fury rolled through me. A leader was meant to protect their unit, not throw them under a fucking bus. “What the fuck ?”

“Lyle persuaded them it was our insubordination and not his fault. He was given a pat on the back for his efforts and an order to get his unit in line.”

My hands shook as I pushed myself up off the ground. I had to move. I couldn’t stay still. My power was rising and attempting to crest. I needed to calm down. Unlike Lyle, I knew exactly where my limits were, and what to do to ensure they weren’t breached. “Were you punished?”

Atlas’s silence told me everything I needed to know.

“Excuse me,” I said, my voice as brittle as my temper. I strode towards the edge of the compound—another place I used to haunt. My ghost was all over this place.

The cliff edge was comforting as it appeared. It welcomed me back with open arms as I walked right up to the very edge.

Waves smashed themselves against the rocks hundreds of feet below. I tried to focus on the sound. Tried to let it wash away my fury as it had done many times before.

But it was too late. The rage had sunk its claws in too deep.

There was only one thing for it—the other reason why I’d come here in particular.

I stopped fighting the rage. I let it build. Let it rise and crest.

And, with a roar to the heavens, I set it free.

My power ripped from me, cascading over the cliff edge. For a second, the sky was bright as day as my light rolled through it.

When the last of the rage left me, my power returned. It sank quietly to the depths to return to its slumber.

My shoulders sagged as I stumbled back a few steps.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

I spun around to face Atlas. “I didn’t expect you to follow me.”

“I always do,” he said simply. “You know I don’t like it when you come here.”

I snorted, brushing past him to head back to the church. “It’s not like I’m going to jump. Wouldn’t make much difference considering I’m immortal.”

“That’s not what I don’t like,” he said, falling into step beside me. “I don’t like seeing you angry. I hate that you only unleash your powers when you’re upset. It’s not healthy.”

“If I unleashed the full extent of them any other time, a lot of people would die. Permanently.” My power was both a blessing and a curse. “And other supes would either want to execute me for bragging rights or push me into some leadership position I don’t want. You know that.”

“I do. Which is why I said you shouldn’t have done that. There are several delegations of archs inside the compound right now. Anyone could’ve come outside and seen, Noah.”

I froze. “Shit. I didn’t think of that.”

“You’re safe.” He patted my shoulder. “I followed to make sure no one else did. No one saw or heard, Noah.”

“Thank you.” Atlas, once again, had my back. Now it was time for me to have his. “Okay, explain to me why you need me to help Lyle instead of tearing him limb from limb. If it’s not a good enough reason, I’m going in there and giving the cunt exactly what’s coming to him.”

Executing Lyle would have me up in front of the council, but I no longer gave a shit. Thanks to Micah, I knew precisely what kind of punishments went on upstairs. That he’d subjected my two friends to it for doing the right thing, for protecting me …

Lyle deserved to die. Permanently.

“Because Lyle has safeguards in place,” Atlas said, his voice heavy with exhaustion. “If anything happens to him, he’s made it clear that we will bear the blame. That whatever happens to him will result in the execution of several of the unit.”

“He’ll argue that you’ve done something to alter his state.” I shook my head in disgust. “That you’ve had him cursed or bewitched into behaving this way. I can see him doing it, but I’m not sure I buy the council believing it.”

“You have met Gloria, right?”

I groaned internally. “Fuck. You’re right. She’d not only buy it but use it as an excuse to weaken Juniper by removing the strongest players.”

“Exactly,” Atlas said darkly. “The Seraphim aren’t the only targets in her sights.”

We exchanged a loaded look. It voiced the things we didn’t dare speak. That Gloria deserved to pay. That, one day, we’d see it happen.

“We can’t hide him forever,” I said. “It’ll come to light eventually.”

“Yes, but we need a little more time. If we can weaken Gloria’s position, then she won’t be able to retaliate.

We have two supes coming to help—one’s a medical doctor and the other is a therapist. We’re hoping that, between them, they might know of a way to stabilise his condition.

The issue is, they’re both vampires. They can’t come into the compound until after the conference. Everyone will know if they do.”

It seemed like a shot in the dark to me, but I could sense Atlas’s desperation. His need to protect the unit. His friends. His family.

Our family.

I’d do whatever it took to make that happen.

“What do you need from me?”

“For you to contain him,” Atlas said bluntly. “It takes too many of us to hold him, and as the hosts, we’re all expected to lead panels. You’re the only one strong enough to do so alone, Noah. No one else is powerful enough.”