Page 14 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

The waiter appeared with our plates of pasta. We paused our conversation until he’d retreated. I’d put a compulsion net up so we could talk freely, but maybe Noah thought it was rude to talk in front of the staff regardless.

Or maybe he needed a second to gather his thoughts.

“You’re just not what I expected from a demon,” Noah said once we were alone. “I’m not trying to stereotype, but based on what I know of Nox, I was expecting you to be more…”

“Argumentative? Stubborn? Sarcastic?”

Noah gave a sheepish shrug. “I guess. You said yourself that you were confined to Hell more than most. I was expecting it to have had more of an influence on you.”

Now I was the one delaying. I twirled the spaghetti around my fork, trying to think how best to explain it.

“Believe me, I am all of those things you mentioned. I can be extremely stubborn, especially with those I care about. I will argue relentlessly if I believe I’m in the right.

And sarcasm is practically my second language. ”

Noah laughed, the sound sending goosebumps over my forearms. “That’s good. I’m also fluent in sarcasm.”

“Excellent.” I ate a mouthful of pasta before continuing. Flavour exploded on my tongue. Noah had excellent taste. “Those things aren’t what make me a demon though. Sure, most demons have those traits, but they aren’t the most important ones.”

Noah leaned his chin on his hands thoughtfully. “What are?”

“Our morals,” I said instantly. “We have a strong sense of ethics. Our understanding of judgement and punishment tends to be very black and white. Goes along with the territory, I guess. Can’t spend centuries torturing sinners without appreciating that some people deserve to be punished.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” Noah said slowly, “but wouldn’t you say there are shades of grey in there too? Reasons why humans behave the way they do? Should we not consider that when deciding on punishment?”

I gave him a tight smile. “Bold of you to assume I was in charge of deciding anything.”

“Sorry.” Noah flushed and put down his fork. “I didn’t mean—shit.”

“It’s fine.” Reaching across the table to take his hand was instinctual.

We might not have been bonded, but the need to reassure him was as vital as breathing.

“I know you didn’t. It’s true though, on both counts.

There are shades of grey, but it didn’t matter if I saw them or not.

I was to follow orders at all times, regardless of whether I thought it was justified. ”

“You have a strong ethical code, but you were forced to break it?”

“How do you mean?”

“You said you like to judge people and punish them accordingly,” Noah explained, “but in reality, you weren’t doing that. You were told they were in the wrong, and how to deal with it.”

“I guess you’re right. I’d never really thought of it like that.”

“Sorry.” Noah chuckled lightly, extracting his hand from under mine and picking up his fork. My fingers curled on the tabletop, the loss of him like a brand. “I’ve taken us completely off topic.”

I shrugged. “Isn’t that the point of these…meetups? To get to know each other?”

“It is. Didn’t think we’d go so deep quite so fast though.”

My lips twitched as I pulled my hand back to my side. “Oh, Noah, just say the word and I’ll take you as deep and fast as I can.”

Noah blinked at me, fork frozen in mid-air.

Then, he was laughing.

I joined him, shooting him an apologetic grin. “Sorry. That was cheesy as fuck, but I couldn’t resist.”

“I gave you the perfect setup.” Noah dabbed at the corners of his eyes with his napkin. “I would’ve been disappointed if you’d let it slide past.”

“I’ll never let an innuendo pass me by.”

“My kind of man.” Noah winked, and my heart started a tattoo against my ribcage. “Dirty jokes, loves innuendos, and fully prepared to rob a museum alongside me.”

I lifted my hand to my mouth in faux shock. “An angel proposing theft? Now who’s the one not behaving stereotypically?”

His foot brushed mine under the table. “You must bring it out of me.”

“What, the urge to misbehave?”

“Oh, I have no issue with breaking the rules. No, I meant the desire to have fun,” he said. “To remember that good things exist outside of the unit.”

“Is that something you struggle with?”

“Sometimes.” He pushed more pasta around his plate. “It’s hard to know, really. I joined Juniper when I was barely twenty.”

I gave a low whistle. “I see. So what I’m hearing is that, while you look like butter wouldn’t melt, you could probably execute me from a mile away.”

“Try two miles,” he said. “But yes. I guess you could say I do okay in the power department.”

More than okay if he’d been selected for Juniper at twenty. Most angels weren’t considered for an angelic unit until they’d seen their first century. For Noah to have been chosen at such a young age, and by a unit as high ranking as Juniper…

My mate was a force of nature. There was no other explanation.

“Well, I know who I’m calling the next time I’m in trouble,” I said lightly. “Speaking of which, are you having problems with your phone?”

My question seemed to throw him. “What?”

“Your phone.” I raised a brow pointedly. “Given you didn’t respond to any of my messages over the past month, I wondered if it was broken.”

Noah had the good grace to blush. He lifted his chin defiantly though. “I didn’t realise I was required to check in.”

His frosty tone didn’t deter me. “I thought you wanted us to be friends.”

“I do.”

“Don’t friends speak to each other more than once a month? ”

Noah shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “We don’t need to live in each other’s pockets, Jeremiah.”

Ouch. That one stung. “I didn’t realise that’s what sending an occasional friendly message equated to. Maybe I’m misunderstanding how modern communication works.”

“Fuck.” Noah seemed to deflate, tucking his hair behind his ears. “You’re not. I’m being a dick. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” I said mildly. “But I’d like to know where the boundaries are, Noah. If you don’t want to speak to me while we’re apart, I’ll respect that, but I’m struggling to see how we’ll build anything meaningful if we can’t communicate when we’re not together.”

“You’re right.” He blew out a slow breath. “It’s just, every time you texted me, I…I panicked. Okay?”

That, I hadn’t been expecting. “Why? If you’re worried I’m going to rush you into anything, I’m not. I’d just like to be able to speak to you every now and then, that’s all.”

“I’m not worried about you rushing me.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

“Rushing myself,” he whispered, his golden eyes meeting mine. “I fall too fast and too hard, Jeremiah.”

I was struggling to see the issue. Was this just because he knew I was scared of feeling trapped? Or was there more to it? “Is that a problem?”

“Yes,” he said hollowly.“Because every time I fall, I break. Every. Single. Time. I don’t want that to happen with you.”

My demon tried to rise. He wanted the full story. To track down whichever idiotic fool had been gifted Noah’s heart only to smash it to pieces.

That wouldn’t happen with me. I’d treasure it. I’d protect it with everything I had .

That was the part of me I hadn’t shared with Noah tonight.

The part that was truly the most demonic.

Because the truth was, if Noah was mine—nothing else would matter.

My morals and ethics would become non-existent where he was concerned.

I’d do whatever it took to protect his heart. To keep him safe. To make him happy.

I didn’t think he was ready to hear that though. I needed to show him with my actions.

“We’re taking things slow,” I said eventually. “But maybe slow could include the occasional text or phone call?”

There it was. The smile more beautiful than any sunrise I could witness. “I’d like that.”