Page 20 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

Noah

J eremiah was in charge of today’s date and he’d been remarkably tight-lipped about what he had planned. All I’d been told was to dress comfortably and that he’d pick me up.

An hour before our arranged time to meet up, I felt him cross our wards. I dashed for the front door, catching a glimpse of my face in a mirror on the way there, complete with the goofy grin I was wearing.

Fool. You’re asking to get hurt.

Maybe I was, but it was getting harder and harder to remember why I had to keep Jeremiah at a distance. Especially after our last date. And how he’d opened up to me about his nightmares. It had me wanting to fly to wherever he was just to give him a hug. I didn’t, of course.

But fuck, had I been tempted to.

My grin fell as I opened the front door. He wasn’t there.

“Everything okay?”

I jumped at the sound of Nox’s voice behind me. “Yeah. Just thought I felt Jeremiah cross the wards. ”

“He did.” Nox leaned around me to peer out the front door. “Huh, that’s odd.”

“He’s parked his car at the end of the drive,” Benji said as he came down the stairs and breezed past us. “Saw it just now on Nate’s cameras.”

I frowned at Benji. “Why would he do that?”

He shrugged. “Don’t ask me. I don’t understand why people behave the way they do at the best of times.”

He disappeared down the hall, leaving me with Nox. “Any idea what he’s up to?”

“Nope. But if I had to guess? He’s early because he’s excited.”

Just like the other times. The butterflies were back with a vengeance. “Then why doesn’t he just come to the front door?”

Nox crossed his arms over his chest. “Have you made him feel like he can see you outside of these dates? Has there been any flexibility in what you’ve agreed?”

I thought about how he’d asked to meet earlier. How I’d brushed him off. How the bond had tortured me for the next three days straight. The fucking agony that had dogged me around the clock, knowing I’d missed out on seeing him.

“No,” I admitted, scuffing the floor with my foot. “I’ve set very clear boundaries.”

“Then I imagine Jeremiah is respecting them.” Nox sighed. “Maybe consider relaxing things up a bit? It can’t hurt to let him close, Noah. Letting others in can make you happy.”

My eyes narrowed. “You know better than most that that isn’t true. Not for me.”

Pity shone in Nox’s eyes. If it wouldn’t have upset Micah and cost me a walk with Sam, I might’ve punched him for it. “Jeremiah isn’t Lyle. I get why you’re keeping him at arm’s length, but give the bloke a chance.”

“With the greatest respect, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“Jeremiah is one of my oldest and closest friends,” Nox countered. “His happiness is important to me. As is yours, might I add.”

All the fight left me. It was hard to be mad at Nox. Often, he spoke sense, even when you didn’t want to hear it. And after our last date, it was even harder to keep Jeremiah at the distance I needed to. “I know. Thanks, Nox. I’ve got it under control though.”

“Mm-hmm.” His gaze darted out the front door. “Are you going to make him wait the extra hour? Because although I want him happy, fucking with him is also tempting.”

“Really? I would’ve thought you’d tell me to get my arse down there pronto.”

“Nah.” He chuckled. “Before Micah and I worked our shit out, I spent many hours sitting on the boundary of the property somewhere. Feels fitting that Jeremiah should do the same.”

He didn’t stick around to hear what I was going to do, saluting before strolling off into the depths of the house. I heard Micah’s shout of surprise before the sound of something heavy hitting a door met my ears. Then moans and the distinct sound of kissing.

I stepped outside with a sigh. I was happy for them. I was.

But I was also jealous.

I want that.

I decided to walk down the long, winding drive to meet Jeremiah. I wasn’t going to fly down to him like the pull was demanding, but I wasn’t going to make him wait the hour either. A walk felt like a good compromise. A sensible boundary.

Besides, maybe Sam had a point. Perhaps a walk was what I needed to clear my head.

A brisk breeze whipped around my bare arms, making me regret not picking up a jacket. Mid-May in the UK meant layers . I kept forgetting that. Juniper were primarily based in Italy, so carrying a jumper wasn’t something I’d been used to there during spring.

I was used to most things about my life with the Seraphim now. Everything except the cold. I was always chilly.

Good thing you have a fated mate who can heat you up just by touching you.

I pursed my lips, choosing to ignore both that and the fact that my steps were getting faster and faster.

The walk hadn’t been nearly enough to clear my mind. I was as confused as I had been at the start. So tell me, why, the second I rounded the corner and saw Jeremiah sitting in his car, did all my thoughts suddenly vanish? Why did the noise fade and the chaos calm?

You know why.

I did. That was what scared me the most. I’d had that before, and it had been taken away from me.

What if the same thing happened again?

Jeremiah spotted me almost instantly, and the look of pure joy that came over his face was almost enough to make me forget my fears.

Almost.

He scrambled to get out of the car so fast that his seat belt got caught on his shoulder. I bit back a laugh as he cursed and shoved at it .

God, he’s cute.

“Hi,” he said breathlessly as he finally freed himself and rounded the car. “I wasn’t expecting you yet.”

I bit my lip shyly. “Seems I couldn’t wait any better than you could.”

Jeremiah stopped a foot away from me, his gaze sweeping over me. “It’s so good to see you, Noah.”

Just as he had the other times we’d met, he held himself stiffly, like he wasn’t sure what to do. And just as I had, I let my instincts guide me. Kissing him on the cheek was normal. Friends did that.

I wasn’t sure friends lingered like I did. Or if one of their hands curled around the back of their friend’s neck, stroking the short hair there. And I was fairly certain a friend wouldn’t inhale deeply, drawing his scent as far into their lungs as they could.

I shouldn’t linger, I knew that, but I couldn’t help it. All I could think about was his hand on mine as we sat atop the Parthenon. The ridiculous smirk he’d worn as we’d got into trouble together.

And the laughter. Oh, how we’d laughed.

If Jeremiah thought my greeting was dragging on, he didn’t comment. No, he tensed up before relaxing when he realised I wasn’t darting away. Trembling arms wrapped around my waist, and he lowered his face hesitantly to my neck.

“I missed you,” he rumbled against my throat. “So much.”

His words finally punctured the bubble I’d been existing in. Clearing my throat, I forced myself to release him and step back. “Of course you did. I’m utterly fabulous. Men have been known to write whole arias after being graced with my presence. ”

A flippant joke that was patently untrue.

The only one who’d ever given me the time of day was Lyle, and even if his intellect had stretched to something so creative, he wouldn’t have crafted them out of dismay.

No, they would’ve been to celebrate my absence.

To commemorate the millstone that was no longer around his neck, trying to trap him into a relationship he’d never wanted.

His words, not mine. How I’d gone back to Lyle so many times was beyond me.

Naturally, Jeremiah knew none of that. He smiled softly, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I can believe it. I’m not sure I can manage an aria though…can I interest you in a haiku?”

“After last time?” I gave a mock shudder. “I’ve changed my mind. I’ve had enough poetry to last me a lifetime.”

“How about a fun date instead?”

I smiled. “Now that sounds like a perfect compromise.”

Jeremiah hustled around the car to open the door for me. My cheeks flushed at the gentlemanly gesture. “Thank you.”

He winked. “Anything for you, Noah.”

Guilt wound through me as I watched him walk around the front of the car.

Ever since our date in the coffee shop, Jeremiah had been nothing but kind and considerate.

More than that, he’d been honest. He’d laid his fears out for me and explained what had made him run—what was holding him back from accepting a bond.

Why couldn’t I find the words to do the same?

Again, my brain called bullshit. You know why.

I bit back a sigh, rubbing at my forehead.

Yeah, I did. Jeremiah’s fears were founded on a situation he’d had no control over.

One no one could judge him for. Mine were based on nothing more than my own foolishness.

My failure to recognise the truths Lyle had tried to show me repeatedly.

A reckless belief that this time would be different.

It never was.

Most people would have been over it by now, but we’re talking about centuries of this behaviour.

Lyle was the only person I’d ever been with.

For far too long, I’d believed he’d always be the only person.

It wasn’t that I was still in love with him, or even heartbroken.

That day on the beach had been more effective in cutting off my feelings than anything else.

But the shame? The fear of repeating the same mistakes?

Those burdens still weighed me down.

Jeremiah shot me an easy grin as he started the car. “You ready?”

No, I wasn’t ready to tell him. Not when he looked at me with such joy. I didn’t want that marred by judgement or pity. Not yet. “Sure. Let’s go.”

We’d just pulled onto the main road when a scent tickled my nose. Once. Twice. When I realised what it was, I smirked at Jeremiah. “Come on, you can’t even see the lace this time.”

Jeremiah’s eyes homed in on my crotch with lethal precision. “I’m taking that to mean you’re wearing some.”

I batted my lashes coyly. “Maybe. If you’re good, I might give you a sneaky peek at them later.”