Page 27 of Guarded (Hopeless Blessed #3)

The smile he gave me as he extended his hand was bright, but I could sense him pulling away. There was something stopping him from falling as fast as I was, but what? Noah knew what was scaring me, but what had him on the run?

I swallowed my questions as I followed him into the shower. Now wasn’t the time. We’d only been on a handful of dates.

I needed to slow the fuck down.

He drew me into his arms as we stepped under the spray. His lips found mine, his sweet taste hitting me as potently as it had the first time.

Lucifer, I will never get tired of this.

When we were both panting, he reached down and grasped my cock. His small groan had me throbbing in his hand.

“Oh goodness,” Noah breathed, his delicate fingers exploring my shaft. “This is going to stretch me so well. I can tell.”

I bit back a moan as his thumb found a sensitive spot. “Do you prefer to bottom?”

“I’m vers with no preference. You?”

“Vers also.” There was no hiding my moan this time as he pulled back my foreskin, revealing the sensitive head. “Which basically means I’m desperate to do anything and everything that’ll make you scream.”

“Perfect.” Noah sank to his knees. “Because right now, I’m dying to get my mouth on you.”

His golden eyes burned hot as he held my gaze. He didn’t look away as his tongue swiped along my length.

Electricity shot up my spine. I flung my arms out, bracing one against the wall and the other on the glass shower wall. Water turned to steam on my skin as my demon rose. “This is going to be embarrassing.”

Noah paused, his lips an inch from the head of my cock. “How so?”

“Because I’m going to shoot the second you put your mouth on me properly.”

Heat stirred in his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ll take it as a compliment.”

He didn’t even give me a chance to take a breath before he wrapped those full, pretty lips around me. My chest constricted as my toes curled. I sucked in a few shallow breaths, trying desperately not to come.

Noah might take it as a compliment, but I wasn’t rushing this.

I wanted to memorise every detail. To return to it every night we spent apart over the next month.

There’d be no more travel for me once this trip was done.

Seeing Noah today had solidified my decision.

I couldn’t be parted from him again after this. Not for that long.

What I truly wanted was to cancel my next trip too. What was the point in going when I’d be leaving my heart back in London?

Now wasn’t the time to bring that up. Not while Noah was blowing me as though his life depended on it.

“You’re so good, sweetheart,” I said as he took me into his throat. “Fuck, Noah. Give me everything.”

He doubled down, his head bobbing as he sucked me harder. One of his hands caressed my balls while the other went to my crease.

I gave an inarticulate shout as one of his graceful fingers found the puckered circle of skin. The telltale tingle begun at the base of my spine.

I gritted my teeth. Not yet, damnit.

I focused on Noah’s face. The beauty of his expression. The intensity of his concentration.

It’ll be so easy to fall in love with him.

His hair was plastered against the side of his face.

He tried to flick it over his shoulder, but with both his hands occupied, it didn’t go anywhere.

Letting go of the walls, I gently scraped the wet strands up and gathered them in my fist. It was so long that I had to wrap it around my forearm to keep it out of his way.

Right at that moment, Noah shifted on his knees, and my arm moved automatically as my cock hit the back of his throat, accidentally tugging on his hair. “Shit! Sorry. Are you okay, sweetheart?”

There was an obscene sucking noise as Noah pulled off me. He stared up at me with such heat that I was certain there’d be flames if he were a demon. “Do it again. Harder.”

My nostrils flared as the meaning of his words settled in. I didn’t ask him if he was sure, I just tightened my grip.

And pulled.

Noah moaned before diving back onto my cock. I used my hold on his hair to control his movements, forcing him to bob faster.

That led to another moan. A louder one. Noah sat back on his haunches, opened his mouth wide, and held still.

His meaning couldn’t have been clearer. He wanted me to use him. To fuck his throat until I came.

So that’s what I did.

Widening my stance, I kept my hold on his hair firm. It took me a second to pick up a rhythm, but before long I was tunnelling into his throat while shoving Noah deeper onto my cock using my grip.

His eyes were open but unfocused, pupils completely blown.

He’d given up touching me in favour of getting himself off—a decision I was extremely happy about.

Part of me wanted to ask him to wait until I could take him into my mouth and return the favour, but a much larger part was just so fucking thrilled. He couldn’t wait. He didn’t want to.

Because of me . Because of what we were doing.

It was turning Noah on.

That was the thought that ricocheted around my head as I came down his throat.

Noah swallowed rapidly, not letting a single drop escape. His eyes fluttered shut as he came, my dick still between his lips.

Fuck. He’s so hot.

My cock slipped from his mouth and I moved. Picking him up under his arms, I caught him in a crushing kiss. Noah swayed in my embrace, his legs not quite under him. But my arms were like steel bands around him.

I wouldn’t let him fall. Not now. Not ever.

When he realised he was steady, he returned my kiss with fervour. I could taste my release on his tongue. More than that, I could taste him. Noah.

My mate.

We washed each other off between kisses, our bodies parting only as often as necessary.

It was only long after that I articulated the thought echoing in my mind. The one thing I most wanted to say but was terrified to voice. Not because of what it would mean for me, but for Noah. For the change I wanted to introduce.

The change he might not be ready for.

We were curled up on his sofa, both in fuzzy dressing gowns. I had no idea where he’d found one in my size and I didn’t bother to ask. That wasn’t what I wanted to talk about right now.

He plucked a strawberry from the fruit platter he’d apparently stashed in the fridge earlier. “Want one?”

I nodded and opened my mouth. When he leaned forward and put it between my lips, I swore I blushed.

Sue me. I’d never been fed fruit before. Another first that was all Noah’s.

He grinned softly. “I’m going to miss you this month.”

I chewed slowly before swallowing. I wasn’t going to get a better opening than that. Why the fuck was I so scared of bringing this up?

Because it’ll hurt if Noah doesn’t ask you to stay.

“What if I didn’t go?”

Noah laughed, reaching for another strawberry. “You’re hilarious. As if you’re going to miss visiting Bali and Thailand just to stay in rainy old England.”

I touched his knee. “Noah, I’m being serious. I can cancel it. I’d rather just spend time with you.”

He froze, the strawberry in mid-air. “You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because you can’t.” He leaned forward to put the strawberry back on the plate. With both his hands free, he shoved his hair back and started to gather it in a ponytail. It was a move I recognised from when mine had been that length—something I did when I was anxious or needed a moment to think.

I suspected both were true for Noah right now. I didn’t push or repeat my question, just waited him out.

He pulled a hairband from the pocket of his robe and efficiently tied his hair back. Now there was nothing to hide the walls that had gone up in Noah’s eyes. The cool determination.

My heart sank. I knew right then that this wasn’t going to go the way I wanted it to.

“It just doesn’t make sense.” He sighed. “You’ve been looking forward to this leg of the trip for weeks now.”

“Noah, we’re immortal. It’s not like I’m on a deadline here.”

He squeezed my hand gently. “Exactly. We have all of eternity to be together. Why rush things? You’ve longed for this freedom your whole life, Jem. This is your chance to embrace it. ”

He was right. My freedom was all I’d dreamt of for so long. It was the only reason I’d survived in Hell.

But I wasn’t sure it was the reason for my continued survival.

I think that was Noah.

“Besides, I’ve volunteered to go to this conference this month.” He gave me a sad smile. “I’m going to be gone for at least two weeks.”

“I remember,” I said quietly, stroking my thumb over his.

I was trying not to feel the sting of rejection, but it was hard, especially when I didn’t understand precisely why Noah was so keen to keep me at arm’s length.

Was it truly just because he wanted me to have my freedom? Or was there another reason?

“I will miss you,” he confessed, resting his head on my shoulder. “I think you travelling is the right decision, but don’t walk out of here thinking it’s easy for me. It’s not. I know I’m going to miss you far more than I should.”

I wanted to point out that that proved my point. That we shouldn’t keep forcing something neither of us wanted. But that wasn’t what Noah wanted or needed to hear right now.

Instead, I kissed his temple. “I’ll miss you too, Noah.”