Page 33 of Erik

“Will someone explain what thefuckis going on!” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up at my dad’s bellow, and emotions battled in my chest. Natasha’s wasn’t my story to tell, even a little bit, and I blinked hard and shook my head to clear my eyes. A brave tear trailed down to drip into her hair off her ear, and I winced as I nodded to my brothers to let her go.

“Does this mean we have to break up? We’re cousins. That’s so fucked up.” A hysteric croak of a giggle escaped Natasha, and I squeezed her hands as hard as I dared to keep my own grip on sanity. “That’s so fucked up. That’s so fucked up.”

“No, no, no, we’renotbreaking up, Natasha.” My voice cracked at the sick sense of humor that clung to my ribs like black tar, and she repeated the sentence over and over again.

“What the Hell doesthatmean?” Huffing a hot breath, I sat back on my heels to sniff hard as my chest emptied ofeverything. My dad glared at me for an answer, but when I opened my mouth, nothing came out. Stunned silence met Natasha’s declaration, and Jason covered his face with both his hands while everyone else was just plain confused.

“Is he conscious?” Mark nodded, rocking back on his heels as he stuffed both his tightly clenched fists into his jeans, and I cleared my throat roughly. “I knew there was a reason I hated him so much.”

“Oh, my God. Is it his fault that she—" Nodding as my eldest brother cut himself off in horror, I managed a shallow, burning breath before helping Natasha to her feet. She hung on me heavily, the most she’d ever touched me in all the instances combined, and I carefully wrapped my arm around her waist. Frigid to the touch, she trembled violently, and Jason growled low in his throat. “I’ll get you some water.”

“Thanks.” Jason disappeared behind the side of the house, and I turned to Natasha as she developed a green hue. “Do you need to leave?”

“I don’t know. Is staying worth it? To them, I mean.” Pursing my lips thinly, I ground my teeth down to my gums— at least, that was what it felt like. Natasha freaked out, but she didn’t seem to want to force on those three kids what had been forced on her. If she outed Mike, she’d no doubt ruin his family. My Aunt Kathy would leave him and take the kids, and he’d probably end up in jail for some reason I couldn’t think of right now.

“I can’t answer that, Natasha.” I guess, that was all the answer Natasha needed, and she slumped against my side. “Let’s . . . let’s go inside and take a look at your hand. We’ll figure this out, sweetheart.”

34

Natasha

“Illya, hey . . . hi. I know things probably aren’t the best between us right now, but if you could . . . if you could call me back, please? Um, okay . . . bye.” Hanging up my phone, I winced as Luke examined my broken hand— at least, it hurt enough to feel broken. “I . . . I messed up, didn’t I?”

“No.” Frowning darkly at Erik’s swift denial, I rubbed my face as I debated what to do next. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t believe this is happening. How the Hell is my dad married to your aunt?”

“I always hated him, but I could never put my finger on why.” The growl was chilling in its intensity, and I rolled my lips between my teeth uncertainly. “Whatever you want to do, I’ll support you, Natasha. If you want to oust him, you can. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”

“I . . . ” Inhaling deeply, I sat back in the kitchen chair and blustered a sigh through my lips. “I saw him— a decade ago. I specifically researched him to figure out if it was worth it, and . . . it wasn’t. His wife was nice. I didn’t know he had kids, but I saw on Facebook that he was married and . . . but now . . . seeing him in person . . .here. . . ”

“If you tell Aunt Kathy, it’ll put those girls in a similar situation you were in— they’ll grow up without a father, probably resent him for lying, and fearing what could’ve been. On the other hand, what’s that going to do toyou,Natasha? You can confront him in private, but the way you went at him before, there’s no way to disguise that you have history some way, somehow. Even if it buys you a few years, you’ll be lucky if those girls get to eighteen before it gets out. So, I guess the real question here is do you want to do whatever it is you want to do now or later?” My mind churned as Jason spoke slowly, measuredly, and I scrunched up my nose in thought.How long can I wait?

“I’m not going to get revenge.” My lips twisted in self-disgust, and I scoffed lightly as I rubbed my temple in a futile effort to release the pressure against the backs of my eyes. “Natalia and Valentine. The third one, her name’s Annabelle or some variation, right?”

“Annabelle, yeah. She’s five years old.” Blustering a squawk of a humorless laugh, I shook my head sharply, and goosebumps blanketed my arms and legs. Luke glanced up from my hand, and I hissed as he pressed an alcohol-soaked pad to my knuckles. “You didn’t break anything, somehow. You got strong knuckles. Let’s get you wrapped up.”

“I told myself, you know, it’s not his fault. He witnessed a murder, and he hid. He ‘died’ because he was going into Witness Protection. How could he come back after that? When I was sixteen or seventeen, I saw him on a college tour, and I thought, you know, he looks happy. His wife is nice. She’s happy. I was okay. As long as I never saw him again, I could handle knowing he was alive.” Even my ugly feelings couldn’t withstand my words, and I stared dazedly at my knee as I went numb. “I never thought he’d replace us. The names . . . it’s coincidence that it’s happening now, at this age. She’s a . . . a copy that’s better than the original— a new, better, version of a faulty first attempt.”

“You’ve never seenTerminator, have you? The original isalwaysthe best because it’s the most adaptable. You can find a way to upgrade and patch and fenagle cables, and it takes a bit of doing, but eventually, you figure out a way to make it all work.” Jason smirked grimly, and I inhaled deeply to cover my mouth and the grimace that dragged down my lips. Sitting in the chair, he propped his elbows on the table, and I exhaled my shaky breath. “You punched him hard enough to bust his eye socket in half. That’s impressive. It’s not easy to do that.”

“Don’t remind me, okay. I’venevertouched a man first, and—" Hissing as Erik’s brother pressed the gauze to my knuckles, I tensed, and he shot me a sympathetic smile without really looking up. “I . . . I’m honestly . . . okay, the truth is, it’s . . . I don’t care about Terminator, and no, I never saw it, and I don’t see how it applies to the fact that afterheskipped out on us to start Family 2.0, I had to suck a guy’s dick at thirteen for groceries!”

My voice heightened and loudened, and I couldn’t control it just as my dad and his wife shuffled through the archway, him holding a bloodied towel to his eye. His wife froze like a deer in the headlights, and my lip curled in a disgusted snarl when he dropped the towel. The eye I’d punched was bulging, threatening to pop out from its socket, and blood dribbled down his clean-shaven face. When I tried to conjure a picture of my dad, all I could see was the photo of him they’d given us after he ‘died’. He wore a blue button down, a black tie, his hair combed back. But his face was the same.

“Does it make you feel bad? Did you know how bad Mom’s heroin use was? Is that why you ran away and left me and Valerie? Did you name them after us because you felt guilty? What about Annabelle? What aboutoursister that Mom lost because she was doing heroin? What aboutme? You wanna hear about how much Mom’s drug dealer liked me, liked me so much he shared me with his friends? Huh? Huh!” I stood up as fire raced through my veins, and my dad went pale as I stormed over to shove my ruined hand in his face. “She wouldn’t pay the bills, so I had to do it all myself. I had to go to them. I had to have sex atthirteen, and I had to pretend to like it becauseyouwere gone!”

“It’s sick and ironic that your new kids are twelve, the exact age we were when you disappeared on us. I hope you don’t disappear on your new kids now that they’re at that age. I hopeNataliadoesn’t end up resorting to whoring herself out for a fucking can of SpaghettiOs. I hope you drop her off at, what, sixth grade? Seventh grade? I hope you drop her off at school and know she’s going to stay there and not sneak out to get rent money from a sweaty, dirty Mexican with gonorrhea.” For a fraction of a second, I felt bad for Aunt Kathy, but I was too angry. Glaring at Mike . . . Mike . . .Mike. . . I resisted the urge to smack him right in his ugly, guilt-drenched, shameful face. “And your name’s not fucking Mike— it’s Donald.”

“Natasha.” Stepping between us, Erik frowned with a slight shake of his head, and I hoovered a shuddering breath through dry nostrils. “That’s enough. Sit down so Luke can finish your hand.”

“Listen, okay. I just want you to hold out your hand. I’m not gonna touch you.” I dropped down heavily into the chair, hard enough for the front legs to lift off the floor. My hand shook when I lifted my arm, and I rubbed my throbbing chest with my free palm. “How long have you been having intermittent chest pain?”

“Uh-uh, I don’t . . . um, a couple months . . . maybe.”

“Do you mind?” Nodding toward my chest, Luke watched me cautiously as I nodded in return, and I inhaled a shallow breath. He pressed his ear to my heart, and I closed my eyes as tension thrummed through my whole body. “How long has it been since this happened last?”

“Yesterday, at the gas station. Why? What’s happening?” Leaning back, Luke frowned as he gestured me forward, and I stiffly did as told while Erik answered. He pressed a palm to my back and told me to breathe, and I did. Anxiety gripped my gut, and he sat back to frown at me.

“I’m just a medic, but I think you’re having stress-related cardiomyopathy.”Shit . . . this again.Luke’s eyes narrowed on me before my own fluttered closed. Could this fucking day get any worse? “You know about it?”